[it feels like with every passing second, another piece of his heart breaks away, leaving him more and more concerned for his friend's well-being, despite realizing the hug is helping. there's only so much an embrace can do, after all, so what will happen when they come apart and pretend like everything that happens here on the train is normal? rather than think about it, sizhui's lips pinch, he tightens his own grip then leans into inigo's shoulder in hopes it'll help with the faint burn behind his eyes. (boy, he will be in for a real surprise once it dawns on him that one of his own people in particular is now gone.)

the long moment has sizhui wavering, wondering if he's said something wrong, and while that isn't exactly the case, what he did say wasn't really proper.] No, [admitted freely, though he waits for inigo to go ahead before explaining himself.

he doesn't feel accused, but it does seem like he'd been too straightforward, especially considering his own answer. although this does mean once he finds his own voice again, he's going to have to admit to something, something he's never, ever supposed to do, and yet he's doing it anyway.]

If we are being honest, I cannot, either. I'm— [sizhui hesitates, curls his fingers into the back of inigo's shirt and exhales a rough sigh before segueing into,] I'm not supposed to lie, but I'd have to, telling myself I would be okay with something unexplainable like this when I'm sincerely not.

Which means I technically lied to you saying that. I'm sorry.