Roland Crane (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
adregem) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
voidtreckerexpress2020-11-03 02:01 am
adregem) wrote in voidtreckerexpress2020-11-03 02:01 am
the voidtrecker cafe is now open? ☕ a november catch-all!
Who: Roland Crane x OTA!
Where: Various places, specifically/primarily: the Kitchen and the Gym.
When: Spanning most of early Imagination, from Imagination 1-12 (pre-mission weeks).
What: Join the train's resident president as he explores various degrees of hobby-making, training, and whatever else comes between work and sleep.
Warnings: Self-indulgent Barista!Roland as the primary prompt. No apologies given!!!
01 - good to the last drop?
It's your sense of smell that's engaged first. Walk upstairs unto the second floor of the Kitchen, and it's impossible to miss. Its wafting aroma may even reach below the floor, enticing you to come up out of curiosity. For those who come from Earth in particular, it's a smell that feels fond and nostalgic, invoking busy work days and people-watching by busy tables.
Almost true to the designated name of the month, there is an invitation to be swept away by the roast of coffee beans stirring the imagination. The air around here is unbelievably fragrant, almost sweet. And the amateur roast master for as long as supplies last is a dutiful figure - Roland Crane, in a simple polo shirt and an apron tied to his waist, standing behind the steel counter with an open crate of supplies from his recent purchase at the store. The communal coffee maker is there too, but his spread is more meticulous this time around. Two bags of coffee beans labeled 'hazelnut creme' and 'dark arabica' to one side, with batches already ground up. The portable grinder is small, but it matches the moka pot for espresso. Hot water already reaching the boil, with bottles lined up like they're ready for service: a couple of syrup selections, bottles of milk, cream, sugar, then finally the hero of the month: honey in various containers.
He's reading a book from the counter, head tilted down, but don't let that stop you from approaching. He's got something brewing, in more ways than one. In fact, as soon as he notices you, he'll offer a small smile, abandoning the task of reading altogether as he goes for his tools. Cups and mugs within reach, but he'll pretend to write something on them with his pen. An inside joke that may or may not connect, but he commits to the immersion anyway:
"Hey, welcome back. Don't worry, I remember you. And what you ordered last time. Heh."
Kick back. Relax. Have a cuppa of honey and coffee and let Roland the barista hear your tales of woe. Or joy? Whatever you're willing to share. He'll listen. He's got the experience, trust him.
(The tip jar to the very end of his work station is absolutely fake.)
02 - a moving target.
[ At the Gym, some time before mission information goes up and Roland heads straight into his usual business mode, you will find him with his pistol. But for those who have seen him in action already, there's something decidedly different this time around. The gun in his hand, although already more futuristic and magical in its design, is looking more spruced up. An extra barrel that makes it bulky, and the muzzle shaped odd. There's something there that was not there before.
And the only time you will see this for yourself is when he takes a deep breath...and aims at the makeshift targets from a distance. They're staggered, purposely left in random formations. When Roland shoots, his left hand holding the trigger, the usual sound of a gun firing filling the car...Until it stops and suddenly a grappling hook comes out instead. A weird combination, but it fires just as fast as the bullets and there's a struggle to reach the farthest dummy.
Unfortunately, it doesn't quite catch. And so Roland retracts it back, the fiber cable making a sharp whizzing sound as it returns to the gun. ]
[ He sighs. ] This is going to take some getting used to before I even think about making new moves.
[ Approach him here, for training, and he'll be a happy partner. ] Say, got something small I can use to try and grab with my new toy, here? I promise I won't break it. [ Roland nods, jokingly but also, how could he lie to you with such an earnest face? ]
03 - Wildcard!
[ For anything else you may want to do! Am on Discord < Titallenial#7701 > for plotting ideas. Am always open, and will follow your lead! ]
Where: Various places, specifically/primarily: the Kitchen and the Gym.
When: Spanning most of early Imagination, from Imagination 1-12 (pre-mission weeks).
What: Join the train's resident president as he explores various degrees of hobby-making, training, and whatever else comes between work and sleep.
Warnings: Self-indulgent Barista!Roland as the primary prompt. No apologies given!!!
01 - good to the last drop?
It's your sense of smell that's engaged first. Walk upstairs unto the second floor of the Kitchen, and it's impossible to miss. Its wafting aroma may even reach below the floor, enticing you to come up out of curiosity. For those who come from Earth in particular, it's a smell that feels fond and nostalgic, invoking busy work days and people-watching by busy tables.
Almost true to the designated name of the month, there is an invitation to be swept away by the roast of coffee beans stirring the imagination. The air around here is unbelievably fragrant, almost sweet. And the amateur roast master for as long as supplies last is a dutiful figure - Roland Crane, in a simple polo shirt and an apron tied to his waist, standing behind the steel counter with an open crate of supplies from his recent purchase at the store. The communal coffee maker is there too, but his spread is more meticulous this time around. Two bags of coffee beans labeled 'hazelnut creme' and 'dark arabica' to one side, with batches already ground up. The portable grinder is small, but it matches the moka pot for espresso. Hot water already reaching the boil, with bottles lined up like they're ready for service: a couple of syrup selections, bottles of milk, cream, sugar, then finally the hero of the month: honey in various containers.
He's reading a book from the counter, head tilted down, but don't let that stop you from approaching. He's got something brewing, in more ways than one. In fact, as soon as he notices you, he'll offer a small smile, abandoning the task of reading altogether as he goes for his tools. Cups and mugs within reach, but he'll pretend to write something on them with his pen. An inside joke that may or may not connect, but he commits to the immersion anyway:
"Hey, welcome back. Don't worry, I remember you. And what you ordered last time. Heh."
Kick back. Relax. Have a cuppa of honey and coffee and let Roland the barista hear your tales of woe. Or joy? Whatever you're willing to share. He'll listen. He's got the experience, trust him.
(The tip jar to the very end of his work station is absolutely fake.)
02 - a moving target.
[ At the Gym, some time before mission information goes up and Roland heads straight into his usual business mode, you will find him with his pistol. But for those who have seen him in action already, there's something decidedly different this time around. The gun in his hand, although already more futuristic and magical in its design, is looking more spruced up. An extra barrel that makes it bulky, and the muzzle shaped odd. There's something there that was not there before.
And the only time you will see this for yourself is when he takes a deep breath...and aims at the makeshift targets from a distance. They're staggered, purposely left in random formations. When Roland shoots, his left hand holding the trigger, the usual sound of a gun firing filling the car...Until it stops and suddenly a grappling hook comes out instead. A weird combination, but it fires just as fast as the bullets and there's a struggle to reach the farthest dummy.
Unfortunately, it doesn't quite catch. And so Roland retracts it back, the fiber cable making a sharp whizzing sound as it returns to the gun. ]
[ He sighs. ] This is going to take some getting used to before I even think about making new moves.
[ Approach him here, for training, and he'll be a happy partner. ] Say, got something small I can use to try and grab with my new toy, here? I promise I won't break it. [ Roland nods, jokingly but also, how could he lie to you with such an earnest face? ]
03 - Wildcard!
[ For anything else you may want to do! Am on Discord < Titallenial#7701 > for plotting ideas. Am always open, and will follow your lead! ]
no subject
The embrace he reciprocates with mimics the strength of Inigo's affections. He hates this feeling of wanting to stay with him, the people he's grown close to, yet knowing there was nothing stopping him from playing along with the will of the void. More than that, it's the feeling of not having control over such matters to begin with, when all he wishes is to be with the people who have changed him for the better.
Though such a thought leads him a dark and dangerous place, too. That's not his role, is it? That's not what he's supposed to be doing. He was ready to stay in Evermore for good, but when he felt the magic that brought him to another world slowly fade from his soul, that too was taken in calm acceptance. The resolution to return to a world he had seemingly abandoned; is still working hard to try and save. He could join Inigo there, they could be happy. For once.
The compulsion to ask Inigo is too great to ignore. He would rather suffer this than pretend like he doesn't care why Inigo is ailing so badly. This wasn't usual, he has enough experience to know that by heart. The pain of Yuki leaving seemed tied to something more than just being forced to go by a train that didn't care. So he tries, he reaches out, his lips meet the skin of Inigo's forehead as he closes his eyes and wonders out loud. Affectionate even if he will be rebuked.
"What did he do, Inigo?" Roland says, softly. "What did he do to hurt you like this?" Tell me. I want to help you.
no subject
Maybe under different circumstances. Even then it may have been hard to shut Roland out, but not impossible. But with the man curled around him, being so gentle, affectionate, cautious.. Inigo would feel like a total jerk for not telling Roland something.
Even when recalling said something hurts. So much. That's exactly why he said he'd rather forget, after all. Because every single happy moment he has with Yuki is now tainted by the ugliness of how it ended. Dyed in the self doubt that consumes Inigo daily.
But for Roland - for his father - he speaks.
"He.. He didn't hurt me. It was my fault." As he speaks those words, Inigo seems to bury himself even further against Roland, like he's trying to seem as small as possible. Like he's trying to disappear. "We.. We danced at a party. And we were just talking, about.. um, well, it doesn't matter. A lot of things.. The usual."
Their plans for the future. Details Inigo doesn't want to think about.
"He suddenly asked me if I could spend a month in his world first before going back to my own to end things with Grima. And I.. Well, it felt selfish of me to decide that, considering how hard everyone must be fighting back home. But I agreed-- I would have given him anything he wanted." He stops for a second, swallowing. His throat feels so dry while talking about this. "But suddenly.. When I asked him why, he said it was nothing. That it was okay, and he just-- he said he had to go. He left the party, even when I tried to reassure him."
Inigo's breath steadily starts getting shakier. It's been so long. It's been months, why does he still remember it so clearly? Why is it as if he's right back in that moment as he speaks of it?
"After that, he avoided me. Until he disappeared a few days later. The next time the train stopped at a platform, he left."
So Inigo never knew. What was up, what the problem was. All he knows, or thinks he knows, is just--
"I.. I must have said something wrong. Or he must have realised he really didn't want to spend the rest of his life together with someone like me after all.." Because Yuki was too good for him from the start.
no subject
He says these words with a careful edge, low and controlled; sharp enough to cut but not firm enough to sound angry or upset. Even if that's precisely what he feels swell over him like a tide the more Roland listens to Inigo recall the tale of his heartbreak. Yuki, who he was willing to understand a little bit more about, suddenly becomes an enigma. Roland's brows furrow, and his hold on Inigo doesn't grow any relaxed. How dare he?
But Roland understands the roles set, and what can no longer be changed. Inigo is still here, living with the pain of the loss, and Yuki? Yuki is somewhere in a better place, with a girl that might bid for his heart too. Perhaps Inigo is right, and they are happy together. Roland wouldn't want anything else for him too, even if they've never met. He'd wish that for anyone who's left. But his role now has nothing to do with Yuki. It's not Roland's job to care about the man. However, it is his job - his duty - to care about Inigo.
Those words are all he will allow himself to voice out. He respects what Inigo feels for Yuki, however their relationship ended, and will grant that memory his silence.
There's very little in the way of Roland being honest about the rest of it, though. He breathes heavy, giving himself space to think. But the hesitation doesn't last. His instinct to protect and defend Inigo has always been a driving force in how he treats him, even if he must do it to protect Inigo from himself. The shadows that plague him, the ones that tell him what isn't true.
"You need to hear this, so I'll say it, okay?" Roland tilts his head down again, words cradled gentle and carried with affection. Arms around Inigo to warm and love; a sanctuary to hide in. "You didn't do anything wrong." The shake in his head is slight. He keeps going.
"I know you'll probably deny it, but I'll say it anyway. Because I'd never lie to you, and...Inigo..." He sighs. Tries to look at him again with a tilt of his chin, angled to the side despite how tightly they hold each other, how they don't seem like they'll be letting go any time soon. "Your kindness is your strength. Thinking about others comes so naturally to you. It's one of the best things about you. No one, especially not from someone who says they love you, should ever take that as an offense. They should never use your kindness to argue."
And to not even communicate to Inigo afterwards? After promising him the world and a half?
"...I would have done the same, had I been in your position." He adds, with a tone of finality, more to say that Roland would stand by that choice to think of the people of Ylisse too. To see them safe before he could move on. "What you said, I think it was right. It's admirable."
It's not your fault. You did right. You did good. It's not your fault.
no subject
Inigo knows he has to at least say that much. Because Roland is doing so much here to try and reassure him. Inigo knows that. Just the things he's saying, the way his arms keep holding Inigo. It is the most comfortable way to talk about this, though even that obviously still holds a lot of pain. Somehow it feels harder to talk about what happened with Yuki than about anything back home - maybe since this, more than anything, feels like it is squarely his own fault. He is the one who screwed this up. Nothing or no one else.
(Just like Roland anticipated, huh. Of course Inigo thinks he did something wrong. Of course he'd deny the idea that he didn't, even though he feels it'd be too inconsiderate towards Roland's efforts to say it out loud.)
"I.. I'll try to think of that. Even though I'm not sure how much of it I can believe.."
Not that he thinks Roland is lying. Roland wouldn't lie to him. But even knowing that Roland is truly saying what he thinks, it's still hard for him to fully internalize it.
But he's trying. Inigo tucks his head back on Roland's chest, underneath the other's chin.
"It just feels like I should have done better. A lot of people have abandoned Yuki during his life." Even though there were still details of the other's life that Inigo didn't know, that he will now never get to find out about, he does know this much to be fact. "Maybe.. Maybe he thought I was abandoning him too. Even though I never would have."
no subject
The reassurances are never empty, or said just for the sake of it. So he resumes more of the warmth, the tightness around his arms, the nuzzles against the top of his hair. Even though Inigo talks like this still, Roland is undeterred. Used to it, knowing how kind he is and that's why he's so willing to take the blame of it all, so long as the ones he loves are absolved of the sin.
They don't deserve you, pup.
"We always do what we can, with what we're given. We make the most of what we have. We love with all that we can muster, and then some." He replies, like giving advice, or sharing wisdom. "Yuki would be delusional if he thinks you abandoned him, though. That much I can say. That's not it at all, and he should know that. He should know you. That you would never do such a thing to anyone you cared about, without a doubt."
For that's what love was, right? Despite this love being born from hardship, shared trials and tribulations on a train that was not meant to have connections as deep as this.
"You did so well, pup. You always give so much of yourself." A chip off the old block? Who knows who Roland is thinking of now - Inigo's birth father, Chrom the King, or him, the one who is choosing to hold him, fall asleep with him to give him the comfort he deserves...
no subject
At least that's true, isn't it, Inigo thinks as he listens to those words, his eyes closed. Isn't that almost like his personal creed, the thing he lives and dies by? Even if he's unsure of his own qualities, of what he can do, Inigo knows he can at least do this much. He can love with all he's got. The one thing he can share with other people, even though it hurts him in the end when that love suddenly falls away.
At least he's slowly starting to get a bit more comfortable against Roland. Mostly since he always gets more comfortable like this, cuddling with someone to go sleep, but the fact that it's Roland helps a lot. There's just a sense of warmth around the other, a sense of safety. Maybe that's the love Roland is giving him in turn.
"I hope I did well.. I want to do this." His words are a bit softer and mumbled, like he is on the edge of sleep with his face buried against Roland, but it definitely isn't sleeptalk yet. He's still lucid enough to think about what he's saying, hence why it's something he's comfortable with admitting. "I don't want anyone to suffer by themselves. I want to be there for them.. Bucky, Yuki, even Gerome.. They've all had to deal with a lot."
(Granted, Gerome had to deal with practically the same things as Inigo, and yet Inigo cuts the guy much more slack over it than he'd ever give himself. Typical.)
"You too, father.. you've dealt with so much. So I want to be there for you.. If that means giving so much of myself, that's fine."
no subject
But he'll take advantage of Inigo speaking clearly for a while yet, until he knows he's sleep-talking, ready to slumber, forgetting the words spoken under the guise of consciousness. Roland never asks, but he truly hopes Inigo sleeps without nightmares or dreams - just quiet, and peaceful, the way he deserves.
And boy, Inigo sure knows how to say things that make Roland smile. How he could doubt himself so much when he's got the most important trait of any great leader? Any great person? His penchant for others comes so naturally to Inigo that Roland can't see any of the faults he attributes to his person at all.
Children are indeed, much better than their parents. Always will be.
"Pup...all I ask of you is to be yourself. To let me continue to stay by your side, to help you. No matter what..." He breathes in deep. "...I just want you to be safe. Happy." That's enough. More than enough. It's all he'll ever fight for, in this world or in the past universes of his life.
no subject
"Why would I need to let you continue to do that..?"
He's mumbling, but still awake enough to be shifting against Roland, like he's trying to find the most comfortable spot for his head to rest on Roland's chest while he falls asleep.
"I mean.. you're the one doing me a favour by being my father. You don't need permission for anything.."
no subject
The blanket wrapped around him is serving its purpose. Roland is thankful to whoever is listening that he is able to provide a sanctuary for people like Inigo, who need it. Deserve it. Even if it only lasts a couple of hours at most. It's a sentiment that grows stronger when he hears what Inigo has left to say, slowly yet surely drifting into the land of slumber.
"That's not quite true. I..." I need you by my side just as much. I wish I could be bathed in this light forever. So I can remember what I have to protect. He closes his eyes, as if joining Inigo in sleep. Tilts his head down to meet that patch of skin and hair by Inigo's forehead, with only the ghost of a kiss as proof of its imprint.
"...I'll be here, Inigo. Not as a favor. As a choice."
He needs to tell him that, before the worst may come to pass. Inigo needs to know even in his state of half-sleep that Roland stays because he wants to. So even if the unspoken, the inevitable, comes to pass, he will never have any room to doubt if any of this was real. It is.
no subject
It's breathed out like a sleepy sigh. The words aren't adequate, wouldn't be even if Inigo was still more awake. How could he ever properly thank Roland for that? It feels like nothing will ever be enough to be able to convey his gratitude in return.
It does seem, though, that Inigo is properly falling asleep now. And apparently the good kind of sleep, since it's like all tension is being released from his body as he starts to finally sink off into sleep. Everything just relaxes against Roland as Inigo lies there.
The only thing that remains of Inigo's faint consciousness before it slips away is a very, very softly and mumbled: ".. love you, father.."
1/2 | roland crane ❤ - his name in the roster, also this is indulgent but this is for you!!
Roland's arms hug Inigo tighter. He doesn't deserve such a chance. He doesn't deserve this purity. And yet, he knows no matter what, he'll never let go of it. He'll never leave them.
2/2 <3
But this is not enough to deter him. The reason he could not speak the words right back to Inigo is because he knows they shouldn't be spoken when Inigo could not hear them, or might not even remember. Which is why he goes about his morning routine much faster than he normally would, smiling all the while. After a quick tie of his usual ponytail, tight by the nape of his neck, Roland searches for Inigo and eventually finds him en route to the garden car, fresh and awake.
Without warning, Roland slides an arm around Inigo's shoulders and rubs the side of his cheek against his hair affectionately. Brief, yet meaningful. His hand then holds Inigo's own, as he takes the lead to the garden as if this was where he as going all along.
But not before throwing Inigo a backwards glance. A toothy smile, radiating with light.
"Heh. I love you too, son."
Roland spends the rest of the morning doing whatever Inigo asks of him, without question.