voidtreckerexpress | [open] and if it gets too rough, just yell

The awkwardness about Tidus is so obvious right now. Inigo can easily notice it, not even having to try to be able to already perceive it. Tidus's explanation is very obviously not the truth. And while there are some circumstances under which Inigo would totally let his friend get away with it, it feels like there's a little more to this.

Especially if Gibbs is involved.

Inigo doesn't immediately reply, since he wants to be gentle about this. He knows how hard it can be when you're embarrassed - he knows it so very well. So he just steps over, putting a hand on Tidus's shoulder.

"Hey, it's alright if you don't want to tell me. I just-- I noticed you weren't in our room even though it's time to sleep, and I got a little worried."

Which Inigo knows is him being a bit too fussy, but still, it turns out he was right this one time! Take that!

His hand drops from the shoulder, but he smiles over at Tidus, gaze lingering for a moment on the other's before Inigo glances over at the extra rebellious higglepal over there. Something definitely is up with Gibbs. This is wild even by his standards. And they are supposed to be linked to their hearts, aren't they..

"You know you can talk to me about anything though whenever something is going on, right?"

Tidus doesn't look at Inigo as he approaches. Like he's suddenly shy, doesn't want to look Inigo in the eye - or is it the other way round? Even Tidus isn't sure, doesn't question it; just continues to act out the worst acting job he can, thinking his body language doesn't convey anything. He's only standing around. What's unnatural about that?

'One should not close off their heart.' But here's Hibber-Gibbers, being unhelpful to Tidus's attempts by joining in on Inigo's. Tidus sucks in a breath, turning a step away from the pair, but not really far. He's rocking on his feet, stabbing the boot of one into the carpeting.

"I know -- I'm not," he says, an answer to both, a protest. Dropping to the floor cross-legged, and nevermind the wet patches about. "I... I came up here to think." A pause, a held on one, until-

"...I can't stop thinking about what Roland said. About... if a voidcraft gets destroyed."

A beat, and lower: "If the train gets damaged..."

Ah. So that's what this is about.

It's not too big of a surprise. After all, isn't it the worst news they've had recently? As if finding Roland so startled back there hadn't been bad enough, the news he found out back then, passed onto them later-- it is an awful prospect. Knowing that all of them could disappear the moment something would happen to the train. If it had just been him involved with that, Inigo wouldn't have thought much of it, but the thought that it could happen to everyone else here, all the people he cares about so much.. that's much harder.

Hence why his smile drops a little, though he's putting in some effort to not let it fall off his face entirely. Isn't he used to trying to be the strong one? The one others can lean on when it's like this?

With a flash of light Jumblie jumps out of his chest, joining the other higgledy. She twirls around the spot Hibber-Gibbers has chosen to perch on, starting to dance, like she's trying to keep him occupied and from any further destruction while Inigo is distracted with Tidus.

And Inigo himself just moves to sit down next to Tidus, legs stretched out, not really minding the wet patch that's sure to stain one of his pant legs.

"Are you scared?"

Look, current damage to this carriage may suggest angry instead, but it's not as if more couldn't lurk underneath that.

"No." He says it confidently enough, or at least sincere - sure enough that it's true. Fear isn't the way he's looking at this right now. The emotion sitting in Tidus's chest, the one that's keeping him restless, up like this right now.

"I'm-- I'm angry. I know what it's like, knowing that people can disappear. Putting that on us- I hate it. It's...it's not right. It's..."

But it makes it no less hard to be honest - to Inigo, of all people. How much has he told him? How much should he say, now. This isn't about him, even if it was, too, but he doesn't want to make it any more than it needs to be. But he doesn't have the mind, the way to make any more sense.

I don't care about me. I just hate it.

It's a frustration that bounces back on Gibbers, makes him excited. At first glad to join in with the dancing, but then he's moving, as if inspired: blinking in teleportation to another section of the room, taking into his tiny hands one of the Connect Four coins to try and lift it up and throw!!!

it's not going very well.

"It is not right," Inigo repeats, wanting to reassure Tidus. He's pretty sure the other knows he's just objectively right about that, but reassuring people is a habit Inigo can't quite kick. It comes instinctively, much easier than any other answer could, judging by the way Inigo grows quiet for a moment after saying that to think.

And while he's thinking, he's completely ignoring the higgledy circus going on around them - the water higgledy teleporting, only for Jumblie to run after him, like two toddlers in kindergarten.

"It's awful that we were never asked if we even wanted any of this, especially with these stakes." The dangerous missions. The potential of everyone's disappearance. There are so many people on here who don't deserve either. "And it's awful that we can't change that, but.. that's just it. We can't change that."

They've already been linked up with the train. They're already out there. Unless there was some way to magically get people out of here, there's nothing they can do about it.

"So let's make sure to protect everyone somehow." Even if that means protecting the train itself. "It's not wrong to be angry, you should definitely let that out if you have to." And Inigo guesses the loss of one ICP terminal for now can't be.. too bad, right.. As long as he doesn't make it a habit. "But that's the only thing we can do. Making sure it doesn't happen in the first place."

"I know." It's sure, it's confident; it's worried and haunted. Uncertain, a contradiction, but he does know, he knows-

On a breath Tidus tries to speak, fails the first and second time.

"I can't stop thinking about it. It's in my head--if anything happens... How can we stop it? I know- I know no one's put a dent on the train so far, but-"

His hands find refuge in his hair, head bowed to meet their fussing. What can they do? What are they missing? They talked about getting home at the meeting, but nobody had answers. Nobody had ideas. What could they do? Would the Ministry hurt them?

"We need to find out more. There's gotta be something we can do." He turns to Inigo beside him, hands coming down; his brow tight, his expression haunted. "We don't know what this train wants. It's got a goal, it's not just about saving worlds. I don't trust this thing. Why do people come and go? What's it looking for?"

He's quiet as he listens. All Inigo does is make a small sound of - what sounds like - agreement when Tidus talks about that last part. About how little they know, about how more and more of the situation just starts looking more suspicious.

But what can they do? There are so many people on this train infinitely smarter than them. If they already couldn't find out any of those things, then what chance do the two of them stand?

Inigo gently grabs a hold of one of Tidus's hands - though he's not regularly holding it, but instead more like cupping it, leaving the palm side of Tidus's hand pointed up. His other hand idly starts tracing faint patterns on said palm.

"I've always wondered why us too. I mean, there are so many people out there." Even just in his world. He's about the least competent of his group of friends, so why is he the one here? "And why are we still here while others left."

A painful point for both of them. Still, Inigo tries really hard to keep his own tone from dipping into anything too depressing-sounding. Despite the content of his words, his voice sounds light, like it's just idle wondering. Calm, gentle.

"Nothing seems to make sense."

Is this a secret move to confuse him into behaving? Because while that tight frustration persists in Tidus, the taking of his hand, the idle toying with it - it puzzles him, and maybe brushes off some of the building annoyance in him. Certainly distracting to begin with, simmering him at least temporarily.

If not completely. Tidus lets Inigo have his hand while his thoughts take over, no less a mess with no start, no middle or end. Just nothing but complaints. Catches the brush of Inigo's finger with the press of all of his, then lets it go.

"...Roland doesn't want to contact the ministry anymore. Says it's too risky." He says it, having nothing else to share; taking a while to say it, though he doesn't sound any particular way about it. Nothing other than what his already sad, sombre state portrays. "Something the...woman said he met. The ministry not liking anomalies."

"He's worried," Inigo easily says as he listens. Not as a protest, or an explanation, because he's pretty sure Tidus already realises as much too. The other probably can't forget the look they saw on the older guy's face when they found him again in the middle of that jungle either. It's obvious how worried he is, how shocked he was. He must be worried about letting anything happen to them - to everyone here.

It's a thought Inigo lingers on for a moment, the tips of his finger still gently running across Tidus's hand, even as a momentary silence falls between the two of them.

"And what about you?" His voice is soft, a contrast with the chaos of a room they're sitting in the middle of. Soft enough to probably not even be audible to anyone if they were to walk in here in the middle of the night. "What do you want? I know you don't like giving up."

What about him? What about him- if only Tidus knew. He lets out a noise of exasperation, choked. What's the right answer? What should they do?

"I don't wanna give up," he says first; like it's the first thing he wants to get out of the way, before he has any answer to anything else. "I... what if that woman was wrong? He said the ministry would come for us, dismantle the train or something - but it's not like we didn't know it wasn't a danger. How do we know what the ministry'll do? Or the train? This was always about - finding a way. Finding something, even if we just scared it."

The train. Make it shake on its void line.

It's the expected answer. The initial one Tidus gives, but even what follows it. Despite the time they talked about Tidus's own situation and how it felt like he was so quick to give up on himself, Inigo does know Tidus doesn't give up in any other situation. Always looking for a solution, no matter how slim the odds are. That's just what he's like.

That's what Inigo likes about him.

And it's also why he wants to help him. Despite the seriousness of the topic, and even the dim prospects, Inigo's smile grows a bit.

"Then how about we find a middle road?"

Maybe it's a dumb suggestion, but it's better to have dumb ones than none at all right now, he thinks. He shouldn't let his lack of confidence or his embarrassment hold him back from at least making an attempt to help.

"I can see the risk too, of course. We know just as little about the ministry as we do about this train. But that just means we don't pull their attention to the train right away." Since that's the dangerous part. Not knowing what they'd do with the train, the lives of literally everyone on it being at stake.

But what if they remove that from the equation? Or at least minimize it?

Inigo stops moving his finger on Tidus's hand, instead just plainly grasping said hand with his own.

"What if you keep doing it, but instead pull their attention to you-- to us," he quickly corrects himself, not wanting to let Tidus be in anything alone. "It's like they mentioned at the meeting. People went to the ministry before to file a complaint. What if we let the ministry know we're two guys out there with a complaint too, without talking about the train specifically? Maybe then we could go there too, see what it's like. We could see if we can trust them. If anything, I could distract them so you could snoop around."

A middle road. Tidus isn't sure what Inigo could mean, and it's not an opening that has him glued to attention. But he does listen, curious regardless. What could he have missed that Inigo was thinking? Looking at him, searching him before he's even done, searching thereafter.

Finding the ministry? Only having them find them, not the train? Tidus takes in the plan slowly, with trouble, questions on his mind. Was it possible? But as he thinks - how do we even get the ministry's attention like that? - he remembers, from the meeting too...

"Webmind talked about books," he says with some uncertainty, gaze wherever it won't be distracting. "You can get books, magazines- you know, contact info in books. How to reach people. I don't think the train would give us somethin' with the ministry's name on it, but..."

Eyes flicker onto Inigo. Doubt mingling with a cautious desire for hope.

"But how would we get the ministry to look at us, and not the train?"

"Well, the hardest part is finding a way to get in touch with them in the first place." Just as Tidus himself seems to note, judging by what the other says. Would it be possible for them to cheat the train enough to be able to get something that could give them an idea of how to get in touch with the ministry? Inigo isn't too sure, but at least it's some straw to grasp at.

"But once we have a way, it'd be best to do it during a mission, or at least during something that takes us off the train." Like even back on Jema'grethy. "The train usually doesn't stay with us, right? So if it's like one of those missions where it drops us off and leaves, it'd be easier to keep the train away from them. Of course it's going to be hard since they may notice just how many people are in that world who aren't supposed to be there.."

Inigo pauses, using his free hand to scratch the back of his head.

"But maybe we could just make sure to find a place that's far away from everyone else? I don't know. At the very least it'd be easy to explain to them why we are there in the first place without mentioning the train. If they're suspicious, we could just tell them Naga brought us there, and we lost contact with her after arriving. I have no idea how much the ministry knows about all worlds out there, but it's a valid way of moving from world to world where I come from, so it's not like it'd be a total lie."

Tidus doesn't want to give in easy. There's so much to think about, but right now, he wants to believe there's the chance. Get in contact with someone. Get in contact with anyone. Hands grip into his knees, his brow tight with the thought of how to add to this. Turn it into a plan. Try and make contact with someone, try and reach through to someone...

"Worlds are... void active and not void active, right? It'll work easier on a void active world." If he remembers... "Like that Jema-place, and Gyueran. Those were - I don't know about anywhere else."

It's not a detail he keeps in mind. Are all worlds they visit void active? Maybe Inigo will know, make some remark on it.

"If we're just reaching out to anyone... we got a radio. But it was just a one-way -- I don't think we can send messages with it." He exhales, a note of exasperation. "I don't know if the train stopped me from buying a transmitter. That's the name- but I haven't seen the radio since Roland took it."

He can't remember anything but the strange sounds they picked up.

Void active or not, huh.. Inigo thinks about it for a moment, but he's not too sure. It's never anything that seemed to matter back home when using the Outrealm Gate, but then again, maybe that way of traveling between worlds just worked differently? Maybe Naga, with all her power, isn't bound to things being void active or not.

With how unsure of it is he though, Inigo decides it's better to not speak on it for now. Especially when there's something else he's curious about.

"You don't know?" He asks, like he's unsure of the why behind it. But it's not the only thought that's on Inigo's mind, and he frowns a little as he thinks on. He's not good with technology, but he's pretty sure from what he's heard from others and the context that Tidus is giving that a radio is meant for receiving messages, and a transmitter for sending them..? Then the radio by itself wouldn't be much good, but still--

"I can grab the radio if we need it."

And he sure doesn't mean asking Roland for it. Because there's no way the other would hand it over, knowing what they had in mind. But Inigo is pretty sure he could find a way to get if necessary, even if it might mean betraying Roland's trust a little.

But it'd be for everyone's sake then, right?

Look, some items can be very multi-purpose, Inigo.

And he would say, he just doesn't remember - that it's been a while since he messed with it, and he went through a few attempt purchases before the train finally let him buy what he wanted. But if Inigo's offering to grab it, then-

"...Alright." A resigned breath. "But are you going to ask him for it? I don't think it'll make a difference if you or me ask."

Because why else would Inigo want a radio than if Tidus told him about it? Tidus knows where Roland's brain is going to go. There's no way it wouldn't. He'd be suspicious, if not cautious, from the get-go.

"Of course I'm not going to ask. He'll know what we're up to right away."

Especially in Roland's current mood. With him being so on edge about what he knows now. There's no way he wouldn't suspect it right away - Tidus and Inigo are definitely both on the same wavelength about that right now.

He breathes out, looking up at the ceiling.

"Does he keep it inside of his Arms Band? Probably, right? I guess that's going to make it harder.."

Then there came the problem. The potential problem - getting it from Roland without him knowing. Tidus confirming the location of the radio (as far as he last knew) with a hum. Brain scrambling to figure a solution.

"If you can get his arms band... all you need is to know what you're searching for. Maybe knowing there's a radio in there's enough- or, I should try and grab it."

He knows what it looks like after all, and if they're going to do this without Roland knowing...

.. true. That's a point Inigo hadn't considered yet, but which he now has to start considering very rapidly. The fact that he knows what a radio is from context clues, but would have absolutely no idea what it'd look like. Even if Tidus would describe it to him, there's still a good chance he wouldn't be able to get it out of there.

So he arrives to the obvious conclusion: "It's better if you try to grab the radio."

But that's only one part of the problem, isn't it?

"But how do we get that away from him then? I mean.." Inigo gestures at one of the rings on his hand, then over to Tidus's own band. "We're always wearing ours. I assume the same counts for him. And if I'd ask for something from his band, he'd probably just hand me that thing I'm asking for instead of letting me look for it myself."

...

"...I could put him to sleep," he suggests dubiously, the face he's making uncertain, unsure. Was that allowed?? Was taking back one thing, using magic on someone another? Tidus isn't at all sure how Inigo might take to the idea...

bro i'm not crossing a line here am i bro...

Perhaps one might expect Inigo to immediately react negatively to the idea. And part of him does, somewhere deep in his heart. Something at his very core immediately rejects it, feels awful for even hearing the idea, for even considering it.

But what if there's no other choice? What if it's the only way to protect Roland from their potential plans - or their plans from Roland?

So the look that meets Tidus's own is just as unsure in turn. A little uncomfortable at first, but then Inigo grits his teeth.

"Would he notice?"

He hates himself a little, but that's a feeling he's learned to live with a long time ago.

Would he notice? Tidus is already frowning, but that gets his lips to pinch, to try and figure out. He's never had to use it and keep it discreet, but-

"I can pull it off from behind - what about when he's in the library?" There's nothing confident in this suggestion, the uncertainty shared between the both of them. "He sits down there to write and read. There's the coach; but the library's gonna be private."

For them. Just hitting a guy with a sleeping spell and that not being questioned as anything nefarious.

"Hmm.." It's a sound of agreement, at least, but not fully committal still. He knows Tidus's plan is the best possible, really, all details concerned, but.. are they really going to do this?

"I guess I could wake him up after," he slowly suggests, though very much sounding like he's still thinking even as his mouth is moving, even as he's already speaking. "So it'd feel natural. Fuss over him having fallen asleep in the library, ask if he's been working too much. I often come drag him out of there to eat together, so it shouldn't seem odd to him."

"Right..."

It's that kind of right, the sort of response that acknowledges and doesn't disagree in theory, but isn't weightless. What they're talking about doing to Roland, what this would mean.

"He wouldn't be hurt." Not the problem. "He won't even notice it's gone." Not the problem. "We can just play it off -- and everything will be fine."

Except-- But he can't get cold feet now. He can't doubt. They don't need to try and search out the ministry. Just as long as they can get through to anyone else, if they can figure out another way. Anything, anything. Isn't that all they wanted in the first place? Some way of saving themselves.

"We can get whatever else we need later. Maybe... there's something in the library we can learn. From the books there."

There was a bunch of magazines on the void in there.

Inigo speaks up a bit more quickly now. But the topic he is starting about perhaps makes it obvious that he's very much unsure about the rest of it too - that he's desperate to latch onto anything he feels more sure about, less worried.

"It won't be fun to read those, but.. we can keep each other accountable, right?" To keep them from bailing on the books just because they're too boring. "I bet most people haven't read those yet, anyway, so maybe there's something someone overlooked, and.."

His voice trails off. Despite his attempt to quickly talk about this instead, Inigo can't get it off his mind. Of course not. His expression drops, even as he keeps looking at Tidus.

".. you don't think Roland would hate us, do you?"

Because Inigo, too, knows what the real problem is. Even if Roland doesn't find out, even if he'd never find out.. the two of them would still feel guilty as all hell for betraying the trust of one of the people most important to them.

[open] and if it gets too rough, just yell

w-what is he supposed to do without your body next to his, bro

YOU'RE ON THE TOP BUNK

h-haha bro don't mind him sliding into your bunk with you, it's cold--

💦

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)