ayao: (long)
Meng Yao ([personal profile] ayao) wrote in [community profile] voidtreckerexpress2021-05-06 07:53 am
Entry tags:

[Open] Oh that I had a bird’s wings.

Who: Meng Yao & Open
Where: Garden carriage and then a various corridor.
When: Llama 3; mid-afternoon and then night.
What: There is only one way to become stronger.
Warnings: Mentions of sexual abuse (vague).

[I want to soar high among the clouds,]

The garden carriage is the only place that reminds him of home. At least when he thinks about the beautiful parts. Meng Yao loves things that are well-tended and the order and logic behind where the flowers have been planted appeals to him. He doesn't think, for a moment, about the ugly streets that led to the brothel where he was born. He doesn't think about the men who took advantage of his mother and himself.

Oh how he has been praised for his handsome face! Do they - those who praise him - honestly think a boy like him remained untouched in such a foul environment? There is anger and bitterness deep inside of him; both emotions shield him from the pain. He feels stronger when he is furious; like a dragon or a phoenix. Yet, thus far in his life, he has only managed to whine and growl like a fox.

Clenching his fists, his breathing irregular, Meng Yao tries to meditate, focusing on his Golden Core. He knows there are imperfections - he will never be the mightiest - but he can be stronger. His future self has proven that. But, unlike him, Meng Yao wants to use his strength for good. For the protection of those he loves.

He sits on the grass, therefore, legs crossed, eyes closed and hands slowly relaxing their hold on his robes. Should anyone approach him silently, he will draw his sword. He isn't in the best mental state - the past is too fresh - and he has grown paranoid that someone from his world will seek his death.

[Cast my gaze across the unmeasured void.]

It's late and the motion of the train remains an obstacle for him when it comes to sleep. So he wanders the corridors, humming a tune under his breath. He thinks about going to the library, but he is too tired to focus on the pages. Thus he continues his journey, yawning behind his hand. No, the kitchen might be better. At least there he can drink something soothing.

Wine would be nice.
eternalgrief: (FJ073)

[personal profile] eternalgrief 2021-05-29 08:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Things are very different. Huaisang wishes they weren't. He wishes the truth was a lie or that he could make himself forget the pain, the betrayal. He wishes he could separate the past and present but -- there are too many questions he can never trust the answers to when given by Meng Yao. His fingers tighten on his cup.

"Ah," Huaisang says quietly. "Is it only calming?"