the edge of despair [closed]

[magicurls]

Who: Mami and the Kyokos
Where: Hallways->quiet car
When: Llama 16, evening
What:  Mami follows up on a disturbing plot thread
Warnings: child death/possible suicide discussion, Madoka Magica spoilers. Will add others as needed.

Mami hasn't slept well the last few nights. There's been a terrible question at the edge of her mind, one that she can't dismiss, as much as she wants to. It makes too much sense. Soul gem, grief seed, the mystery of what happened to Sayaka, the similarities with witches and magical girls....is this the reason she suspected everyone was hiding something from her?

Could it be true? Will she fall and hurt everyone if Rosetta ever fails to keep her gem clear? She doesn't want to know, but for everyone's safety, she must. So she sucks up her courage and asks.

"Kyoko...do you have a few minutes? There's something I need to ask you.".
.

Comments

[magicurls]

I've been doing some thinking, about all we saw on the mission...

[ Deep breath. She can do this. She must do this. Though her hand trembles a little, and Rosetta comes running down her shoulder to sit in her hand for pets. ]

The witch who killed Sayaka, Oktavia...

[ The screams. The oddly familiar shape. The odd thing Ophelia had said about her doppel. ]

I've been thinking about what you said about doppels. About how Ophelia is like a second side you control, and you don't have to worry about keeping your soul gem clean anymore. But if a magical girl doesn't have that control...are witches like doppels that are out of control?

[redmeguca]

...Heh. Man, every time I think I've got you pegged, you find a new way to surprise me.

[Kyoko takes a pouch of apple juice out of a pocket and drinks it down for a moment.]

Yeah, you got it. That's exactly what a Witch is: a magical girl's rage and despair gone completely out of control. Those emotions tear their way out of the Soul Gem, shattering it and twisting what remains into a Grief Seed. I said the Mermaid Witch killed Sayaka, and that's true, but it's also just as true to say that she was Sayaka.

[The pouch shrivels as Kyoko empties it. She looks up, not quite meeting Mami's eyes.]

You... understand why I didn't tell you sooner, right?

[magicurls]

Then it's true...if I fail, I'll become...

[ She closes her eyes tightly and rests a hand on the nearest door. It's a struggle not to cry, and her gem is...well, Rosetta immediately gets to work. ]

And there's no way to gain that control without having been where you were, is there?

[redmeguca]

No way that I know of, at least. It's possible there's some way I don't know about, but I'm no expert. All I know is what me and Ophelia have been able to piece together. We've got a handful of ideas, but they're probably all longshots. Here, I'll let her talk.

[A Phantom appears next to Kyoko, briefly looking unsettled before a long colorful kimono materializes on her. As it does, her expression gains a calmness that might seem strange on Kyoko's face.]

Hello again, Mami-dono. As Kyoko-sama said, neither of us are true experts, but I carry a certain amount of insight from my nature as a Doppel myself. I can at least tell you the bare minimum requirements for one such as I to exist, uncommon as they may be.

[magicurls]

...Please tell me.

[ That's something to focus on other than this fear. She needs to step away from the fear. She nods shakily, leaning on the wall. ]

[redmeguca]

Very well. There are two conditions which must be met for a Doppel to exist: First, a space must be created where a Witch cannot form. This was accomplished in the case of Kyoko-sama via the reinforcement of her Soul Gem, creating a prison from which my more brutish prior form could not break free.

The second is that the master of the Doppel must prove their right to dominance by overcoming the emotion it was born from. For example, I am the Doppel of Wudan, born from Abandonment. I became a possibility when Kyoko-sama decided to refuse to distance herself from others to avoid pain. So long as Kyoko-sama does not regress, I shall not revert.

Deceptively simple sounding, no?

[magicurls]

I...understand, I think.

[ Mami sucks in a breath. ]

But how can I find out what negative emotion will break me and defeat it?

[ And can she manage it without breaking? ]

[redmeguca]

Reflection, of course. Witches and Doppels are not born from weak emotions, after all. If the other condition is met, it will be but one feeling that decides the form Candeloro will take. Witch or Doppel, it depends on your ability to face yourself. But do not fret too much, I have utmost faith in the one Kyoko-sama respects so much.

Gah! Shut it, Ophelia! See, this is why I don't usually let you run your mouth like this!

[magicurls]

[ Mami manages a weak laugh. ]

It's...all right. That's very sweet of you. Even now, knowing the danger, you stay. That means so much to me.

[ She still sounds burdened by sadness, but...there's still a chance. It might be okay. ]

Do you think I should talk to the others? You've all been keeping this secret so long...

[redmeguca]

Of course I'm staying! I've already abandoned you once, and that was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. You won't be getting rid of me a second time that easily.

And you should definitely tell the others. It would get pretty damn awkward if they kept walking on eggshells around you when you already knew.

[magicurls]

You're right. Thank you, both.

[ She's feeling a little...less certain, so she bows politely. ]

I'll let you know.

[redmeguca]

Hey. Arianna-nee once told me that she would make sure it would never come to the worst case for me. I didn't quite believe her, but it was enough to get me moving. Sure, she didn't actually have anything to do with my Doppel herself, but I probably wouldn't be here right now if not for that.

[Kyoko gives Mami a small smile.]

What I mean is, it might sound sappy and cliché, but a little bit of hope does go a long way.