[CLOSED] how could I ever think it's funny

[darknessinzero]

Who: Ansem and Xehanort, later Vexen. Also Special Guest Elidibus!
Where: Quiet Car, later elsewhere
When: Llama 21
What: Ansem informs Xehanort of his actions upon others, and offers him a choice.
Warnings: Horrible Decisions and Regret. Highlight the following for spoilers, but this is a heavy log and has some heavy content. CW for manipulation, attempted murder/suicide via poisoning, and talk of trauma/death/etc.

Ansem's memories were coming back in time on their own. Mostly, they came dreamlike, in slow bits and patches that he was eventually able to connect to others for a larger pictures. Occasionally, though, there was a sudden connection, a sudden flash; most often, these came upon a familiar action or face.

Such as Xehanort's own.

After speaking with others, learning more- it was, perhaps, no surprise that the memories that surfaced afterwards were ones primarily connected with the other man. His apprenticeship. His betrayal. His actions on to others- and Ansem himself, trapped in darkness, with only anger and rage to sustain him. Letting it drive him once he escaped to spread further harm to others, all in the name of revenge...

He could not change the past. He knew that. But...perhaps. Perhaps one could keep it from repeating.

And so he sought out the other, first checking his room, then the library- and then, as he moved past through the quiet car, he happened to glance through a window and find him. Well. That was convenient. A light rap on the door, and-

"Xehanort- I'd like to speak with you, please."

Comments

[darknessinzero]

The firmness catches his attention, at least, and he regards Even for a long moment before he lets out a heavy breath. "Nonetheless - I have wronged him. I cannot even pretend this was a test of his character, for I...fully intended on this happening. Short of your presence," he amends, closing his eyes.

But. Work done, he focuses on cleaning up and allowing Even to administer the dropper. There's still a subtle tremble in his shoulders, an unsteadiness for all he's holding on to his composure.

[thawed_pride]

"We...both have. If you will recall, you are not the first to have made an attempt upon his life."

And this is far kinder than what Even had tried to do to him. The needles of ice he'd sent at him would have been quickly fatal, but not at all painlessly.

He delivers the antidote, then lets out a breath. His Auto-Life hasn't discharged, so they should be in the clear, even if it's going to take some time for the normal sedative effect to wear off.

"He will be groggy upon waking, but there is little we can do about that with the materials at hand."

[darknessinzero]

"Perhaps not- but I am not his peer, as you are." A reminder that Ansem, for all Even has taken the lead here, is still in a position of power above his both. And he, quite frankly? Abused that. What must Even think of him...?

Again, a twisting inside. Again, shoving it away, at least for now. And once again, a short, humorless sound.

"I would say we should take him from here- but I do not want to answer any questions as to his state. Even- he said that I should claim that he attacked me, for this. That I had only acted in self defense."

He runs a hand through his slightly disheveled hair, beginning to lose that struggle to hold on to his composure.

"Xehanort- slandered my name, and yet this one- he would have spared it, he-" It seems even the Wise can near hysteria. "What have I done, Even...?"

[thawed_pride]

"What you thought best, for the denizens of his Radiant Garden."

He can, at least, make this space a more comfortable one to sleep in. A small portal of darkness brings a pillow and blanket from his room, and he shifts Xehanort to be laying down properly. He takes the opportunity to check the man's pulse - weak, slow, but there. A glance at his SCA confirms that its screen has changed from red to its normal color, signifying that his life is no longer in danger.

That done, he straightens and turns to rest a hand on Ansem's shoulder.

"No one is incapable of mistakes, and he who holds himself to such standards is either arrogant, or weak of confidence. You made a mistake, yet you also acted in urgency to fix it. Is that not what you have told me matters most?"

[darknessinzero]

Ansem seems more-or-less...well. Out of it. Until Even takes back his attention with the touch. He looks down in surprise, then back up, speechless for the words before forcing himself to consider them. He had, and...

...was this how Even felt, at times? As though he'd committed such a crime that the thought of forgiveness from the one wronged was nigh-unthinkable?

He takes a deep breath, lowering his gaze, and, after a moment-

"You're right. I...no. You are right."

He could not take back what he had done. But...he could move forwards. They could move forwards. Even so, it aches at him that he is capable of such a thing, and with his head bowed, he reaches up to rest his own hand atop Even's.

"...will you speak with him, when he awakens? He should...know of the situation, but I do not think it wise for me to be the one to explain."

[thawed_pride]

At one time, it would have shocked him to see his king in such a helpless and vulnerable state, let alone to hear of the actions that led to it. But things have changed, and all of their hearts have been darkened by the pain of betrayal. Now, the only thing in his eyes is understanding, as he gives a slight nod in response.

"I will tell him. I owe him an apology, regardless. I acted with a rashness unbefitting of my position as his senior. For now, however...he is in need of rest. To wake him early would only cause him more discomfort."

[darknessinzero]

"You...very well. At least the plant offers dreamless sleep." No nightmares, no memories. Ansem squeezes Even's hand once before lowering his own.

And, quietly?

"Thank you, Even."

[thawed_pride]

He gives Ansem's shoulder a squeeze in turn before pulling his own hand back.

"It is no less than you would do, have done, for me."