[CLOSED] how could I ever think it's funny

[darknessinzero]

Who: Ansem and Xehanort, later Vexen. Also Special Guest Elidibus!
Where: Quiet Car, later elsewhere
When: Llama 21
What: Ansem informs Xehanort of his actions upon others, and offers him a choice.
Warnings: Horrible Decisions and Regret. Highlight the following for spoilers, but this is a heavy log and has some heavy content. CW for manipulation, attempted murder/suicide via poisoning, and talk of trauma/death/etc.

Ansem's memories were coming back in time on their own. Mostly, they came dreamlike, in slow bits and patches that he was eventually able to connect to others for a larger pictures. Occasionally, though, there was a sudden connection, a sudden flash; most often, these came upon a familiar action or face.

Such as Xehanort's own.

After speaking with others, learning more- it was, perhaps, no surprise that the memories that surfaced afterwards were ones primarily connected with the other man. His apprenticeship. His betrayal. His actions on to others- and Ansem himself, trapped in darkness, with only anger and rage to sustain him. Letting it drive him once he escaped to spread further harm to others, all in the name of revenge...

He could not change the past. He knew that. But...perhaps. Perhaps one could keep it from repeating.

And so he sought out the other, first checking his room, then the library- and then, as he moved past through the quiet car, he happened to glance through a window and find him. Well. That was convenient. A light rap on the door, and-

"Xehanort- I'd like to speak with you, please."

Comments

[darknessinzero]

"Mm." No, he has the feeling that this is something else. Another sip of coffee, allowing the heat to warm his hands. "One is, for certain. The other says he had just become one." A slight tilt of the head, implying that such was a lost memory- if it was one at all. "Have you spoken with either of them, yet?"

Or is Ansem the first he is interrogating?

[wewillwewill]

"Even." The name is offered as a statement, as if Ansem were confirming what Elidibus already knows. But many reasons exist for the Ascian to be so assured. It was a name he heard shouted, one mentioned in conversation as 'present' at the time of the encounter. And then there was the intercom and the subsequent interest which drew Elidibus to the quiet carriage some time ago to see Ansem being aided back to his cabin. Easy enough.

"You are the first." Design? Happenstance? It is a bit of both in all honesty. Elidibus would have definitely desired to meet the King of Radiant Garden first so this fair and wise man Xehanort described would not have time to prepare. Or to be warned and protected by others.

Yes, this was the best possible outcome given what he knows.

"Will you explain to me about the concept of Darkness and Light from your world's view?"

[darknessinzero]

It speaks of itself, at least, and Ansem nods. Both in acknowledgement of the name, and of him being the first. Indeed, this man has a curiosity in what happened in that carriage, if he does not already know...but his roundabout questioning could be meant to disarm as much as gain knowledge. Ansem does not know for certain what he is after, but for now, he sees no reason to become alarmed more than the prickle at the back of his neck.

He will not let his guard down. But nor will he allow it to block out the other.

"I have come to determine that they are as much basic forces as they are realms of existence." But. More than that. "In loose terms; Light is what we consider a 'positive' to the 'negative' of Darkness. They oppose one another by nature, while at the same time being inextricably connected. There are very, very few natural beings that only possess one or the other within their Hearts."

With the general said, he narrows in on some specifics; it is, by his own nature, a somewhat scientific explanation. And he does seem to have some personal experience with it, himself. In essence, it sums up to Light as a producer, a creator; Darkness as its foil, that which consumes - though both could sustain life. He also does not appear to regard either necessarily as 'good' or 'evil', though he certainly seems to have a healthy respect for Darkness that borders on wariness.

[wewillwewill]

There are slight variances still. Perspective is like that but it is a pity. Elidibus does realize that to some extent he will be unable to truly compare the difference between his universe and that of this other in Light and Dark without actually seeing it for himself.

"Realms, is it?" Elidibus taps a finger on top of the table surface, thoughtful. "I am familiar with the concept of Light and Dark as basic forces. Your apprentice also suggested they are separate realms. I would ask you explain this in your own words."

With a pause he adds.

"What manner of natural beings would you describe these creatures who are wholly Light or wholly Darkness?" Not the unnatural. Just... natural. It appears to interest him more than the explanation of separate realms, however.

[darknessinzero]

"A Realm of Light, a Realm of Darkness, and the Realm Between." Ansem holds out one, two, three fingers as he names these. "Individual worlds reside within them; Radiant Garden, in the Realm of Light. There is only so much I can tell you of fact, aside from them being spaces where the forces are stronger, weaker, or in a tremulous balance." But he does. And as for the other question...

His brow furrows. Would that he could be more specific...he would. But. "I know they exist. I believe I have met one or two in the past. A...Princess of Light, if you would. But if it is knowledge of those beings of Light and Darkness that you seek, I would direct you to Even."

A sip- and then he lowers the cup of coffee, staring directly at Elidibus.

"And while I am happy to share knowledge with you- what is your purpose here, Elidibus? You would not have mentioned what you have were you only a scholar." He meant to catch Ansem's attention. He meant to provoke reaction.

But what does he mean by such?

[wewillwewill]

The outline of the Realms certainly catches the Ascian's interest. It's almost disappointing that so little is given but perhaps it can be returned to one day. As to the existence of natural creatures of Light and Dark... "I will endeavor to do so." Yes, he will speak to Even at some point soon.

Elidibus has not touched the coffee be brought with him. The curiosity was settled and he had not taken the beverage for any other purpose. Though perhaps he will try it when it has cooled to see what that difference is like.

"I would have your measure," Elidibus responds. "Your apprentice spoke highly of your fairness and wisdom regardless of emotional turmoil. He spoke of great faith in you." While the Ascian may well be speaking this words and watching for Ansem's reaction, there is an utter lack of malice in them. Clinical, almost.

Elidibus knew there was more chance that Xehanort was being too naive. But there is also the possibility Ansem is just as wise and fair even in the face of terrible memories as Xehanort believed.

"Tell me of today's events. Was his trust well-founded?"

Now Elidibus goes for the throat.

[darknessinzero]

Oh, Xehanort.

And this- this is the crack in Ansem's composure. This is him closing his eyes, and a humorless smile gracing his lips as he he reflects on their conversation. Their words. His words, and his actions. And oh, that is regret coming through his posture and his voice, for whatever happened today, Ansem clearly wishes that it did not.

"...He will determine that for himself. I would not speak for him. But if he chose to change his opinion of me - then I would not blame him in the slightest, for I was cruel to one who did not deserve such treatment."

If nothing else? He can admit he was wrong.

"I will apologize to him and offer reparations," Ansem continues, opening his eyes, smile turning just a bit bitter. "More, I cannot say, for the future is uncertain. He is a good man," he adds, just a bit softer. "And this reminder that I am not infallible has given me much to reflect on. But, I am...glad. That there seems to be another whom is interested in his well-being. Would you call him 'friend', then?"

[wewillwewill]

Elidibus lets Ansem speak without interruption. Without a hint of disappointment or judgement. Just the calm observation that has colored near the entirety of this meeting. It probably isn't surprising anymore.

He speaks only after the king finishes.

"I did not ask if he should feel his trust misplaced, King of Radiant Garden," the matter of fact words may well be alarming to some in its lack of negative or positive emotional tone. "If I wished to judge your worth through his eyes, I would have been content with what I already know."

Though how Ansem answered has already told a story of its own.

"How did you take advantage of his trust? What thoughts led you to conclude it was the correct path?"

Whether Elidibus is a friend though... It's a question that remains notably unanswered at this time.

[darknessinzero]

This feels less like a conversation and more like a trial. There are a few long moments of Ansem regarding Elidibus before he reclaims his coffee once more, and another few long moments in which he brings it to his lips and takes a long, slow sip. When he is done...

"Are you a judge, then?"

If he is offended by such, he shows no sign. While he still seems remoseful, there is the feeling that he is slowly bringing back up his metaphorical barriers.

[wewillwewill]

"No."

The truth, plain and simple. In the end, Ansem's actions will be judged by his peers, his world's standards, comrades... and Xehanort.

"If you must have a name for my part, then you may consider me neither friend nor foe. An impartial witness." For now. Whatever hint of concern or interest Elidibus has developed for Xehanort's well-fare would not be mentioned here regardless.

[darknessinzero]

"Then you will forgive me if I say the matter is between him and I." Ansem's gaze is serene, despite the finality of his words. "Should he grant allowance, I would speak, but he is not here to offer such. I knew you not before this day, Elidibus, and I know not how you would use the information. Suffice it to say I acted in what I had thought were the best interests of my kingdom."

Sip.

[wewillwewill]

Ah, the convenience of wisdom. "I shall be sure to ask his permission then." Make no mistake, Elidibus is the type to do exactly that. "I trust you will not avoid discussion of the matter, ere I return with it?"

His coffee remains abandoned. Unsipped.

[darknessinzero]

"Should Xehanort grant such things - and I heard so firsthand - then I would speak more, yes."

No word of mouth. He wants irrefutable proof that Xehanort is all right with his future - their past - being discussed.

[wewillwewill]

"Of course." Certainly Elidibus gives the impression Ansem has only delayed an inevitability.

The Ascian finally receives his mug. Not to sip but to take with him. "I will ask one more question before I depart then."

He won't rise from his seat until after his question is asked and an answer- or denial to answer- is given.

"As a hypothesis. Were I to tell you with absolute certainty that one's past does not reflect a past self's future, would you still feel you have made a decision today based on what you thought were your kingdom's best interests?"

[darknessinzero]

To that...Ansem will allow that barrier to drop, however slightly, as he lets out a sigh.

"Certainty would confirm my suspicion," he wearily muses. "And I would say I have made a grievous error. I could justify my actions on the sake of what could be, regardless of whether or not the future in question is set in stone, for I will tell you that the devastation was immeasurable - but if you were to ask me as Ansem, the man, as opposed to Ansem, the King?"

He brings a hand to his chest, over his heart.

"Then by not allowing Xehanort a chance, I have wronged him. And as King, I believe his potential could be just as much a benefit to my people as the opposite."

[wewillwewill]

"I can no more prove my words fact than you can change what you have made indelibly a part of your apprentice's past," Elidibus says in a matter of fact way. "Yet your response gives me some measure of the person you are. I express my gratitude for indulging me."

Here the Ascian finally rises. Mug in hand, he moves to the door of the booth. Though not before offering, "Until we next speak then, King of Radiant Garden."