voidtreckerexpress | be my mirror my sword and shield

Entry tags:

be my mirror my sword and shield

Who: Thief King Bakura OR Atem & you!
Where: Throughout the train (Bakura); gym car (Atem)
When: Llama 27
What: Bakura slacked off on getting her crystals made into a pendant….and then lost a Shadow Game to Atem. Hope you aren’t all too tired of illusions cuz she’s stuck in one now.
Warnings: MIND CRUSH.

[ Bakura ]

Bakura walks through a tomb.

Oddly enough, the surroundings comfort her - it's right that she should be here, in the catacombs no man should dare to tread, hand grazing the spells and images marked on the walls, unconsciously pausing, grabbing a rock, scratching out the pieces she needs to proceed without being cursed. Even when she encounters more physical traps - a deadly pitfall, a cluster of undead soldiers - her body takes her through the motions of dodging. This is where she belongs. This is right.

Except it's also so very wrong.

The thought of treasure, as always, spurs her onward - the thought of taking, taking, her hunger raging inside her yet battering against the walls of a hollowed-out hole. There had been something in here, once, in her heart. Something that had rooted around, burrowed deeper than any gravebuilder. Now she's left with empty passageways, a vacuum that abhors itself. She's seeking. The prize that will fill her up, that will glue her cracks, is in here - but where?

Not there....not there, either.....what is it........what did someone take from her....?

And what's she supposed to....feel.......when someone takes from her....?

Aimless, Bakura wanders the silent, still hallways of her mind. In the physical realm, her drive to pursue has lurched her body into motion - but she's stumbling, she has to lean on the walls of the train. Or she's taken a break, lying flat on her back anywhere that will fit her (a table in the gaming car, the....hallway....), slumping in corners, always with her head bowed and her eyes unfocused.

She looks like she's trying to focus, though. Like there's something on the tip of her tongue - but it keeps slipping through her fingers, like sand.

Falling through the gaps where the sun has burned her rot away.

[ Atem ]

Returning to reality, Atem observed the thief for a moment or two just to ensure they weren’t in any immediate danger (to themself, mostly). He took a few steps up to relieve her of that weapon and, calm as ever, exited the car. Silence guided his footsteps down through the various carriages. Controlled deep breaths all the way to the gym.

And he remained controlled, almost too controlled the entire time. His movements were swift; they carried purpose and intention. Focus. Smoothly walking up to a rack and wrapping his fingers around one of the dulled practice swords, he moved over toward the dummies and brought that blade swiftly to its neck. It took a disappointingly miniscule amount of effort even with such a dull blade.

He watched as the head rolled, and something about how easy it was just made him snap. The Pharaoh let out a scream -- the kind you let out at 3am when one too many things have gone wrong and that last thing was the end of the road; the kind you find yourself smashing plates and slamming doors and throwing everything in sight and for one cataclysmic moment there’s not a breath of control in sight. All that’s left is anger, a soul wrenching type that radiated off him in waves. Thick, and heavy, and damn near enough to almost knock someone over.

The kind that brings that blade right through its target. Skewers it straight through the heart or at least where the heart would be. His jaw tight, his entire body tight as he curled idle fingers around the shoulder. A grip so tight on the sword’s hilt that he could almost feel it dig into his skin. Labored breaths desperate to reel it all back in, reel back in that fire, that rage, and shuttered.

He’s okay. Just breathe. Slow, yes. Breathe. He loosened his fingers from shoulder and sword. He’s okay.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"We crossed paths." If it sounds ominously vague, it is. Though there's enough of a suggestion there to assume the unpleasantness wasn't fully at the blame of the thief. Well, may as well be honest.

"In an attempt to avoid doing something I didn't want to do, I did something worse. Whether the response will achieve the result I hope for is yet to be determined, but yes. It wasn't easy."

"That sounds like a whole lot of vague," is Kaiba's immediate answer. He folds his arms, gives Atem a searching look...and softens a little.

"You know I'm the last person on this train who would judge you. So what did you have to do?"

He has a few guesses, but given the many things about this Atem he doesn't know...best not to assume.

"Do I? I'd think you'd be the one to judge me the most." We always keep a stronger opinion of the ones we hold close, after all. Still, regardless of whether Atem's statement rings true or not he understands the sentiment behind it. Perhaps the back and forth was comforting to him, though.

His arms cross. Eyes stay fixed on the man before him. He speaks frankly. "The same thing I did to you." Atem can only assume this one experienced it, however different it may or may not have been. "I had a choice, though. Judgement or enlightenment."

The God-King had set it up that way the whole time. It could have been a penalty game. If he'd let her fall it would have been. "I wanted to let her die. I almost did."

Ah, so it's as he suspected. Seto is quiet, thoughtful for a few moments. He remembers the old rage he felt back then, but after talking to a different incarnation of this spirit, who performed the ritual against another passenger in very similar circumstances...he's had time to think it through.

He's especially had time to face Bakura's wrath up close.

"I think everyone's happier with the person I am now than the person I was then," he starts, with a little sigh. "But you didn't know what would become of me. I could've continued to slip, and other timelines' versions of me did."

How does that relate to the Bakura situation? He takes a slow breath and steps closer.

"She was blinded by her rage. I made it perfectly obvious to her that Yugi wasn't you and I wasn't Set, and she laughed in my face, fully intent on murdering us anyway. Yugi made it even clearer, he treated her with kindness and she...The only reason I didn't die was that someone healed me just in time."

He sighs.

"Look, I don't blame you for being tempted. There's no guarantee it'll work. But you gave her another chance in the end, didn't you? And that's who you are."

He was different too back then, Atem was. Just as single-minded. just as narrow a vision. He held beliefs and he stuck to them with ferocity and little room to budge if any.

"A stretch away from the Valley of Kings lies a small village called Kul Elna. Forgotten, even if central, because its just far enough away from the Nile to have no trade once construction is done. They know the pyramids; they know all the monuments. Of course they do, they built them." He watches Kaiba for a moment before continuing his story.

"With no more work, no food, no livelihood, they begin to pillage that which they helped create." As Kaiba moves forward, so does Atem. Eyes finding those piercing blues. "We do not ask 'why do you steal from us'? We do not send aid, bridge trades, or grant new work. We burn their homes to the ground and melt them down into this" The word spat out in pure contempt as a hand motions to his bag he still keeps with him. The suggestion of what lay inside quite clear. "Gold trinkets drenched in blood. And we're to keep peace with them?"

Peh. He takes a few steps around, working off the emotion that rose again. "What if this is all she can be. We took so much away from her so young how could she know anything else but this? We never gave her the chance. And I --" He paces now, though its slow and deliberate. Calming. Thoughtful. Stopping to finish his thought. "I feel such a rage at the very thought of her harming Yugi, you, anyone I love, anyone at all. But the more I learn, the more I can't quite feel it unjustified."

He exhales. "So what else can I do but try? And try, and try, and try. To let her see light."

"Atem..."

Seto is slow to respond. He allows the wave of emotion: pain he'll never quite understand, strife, war. It all washes over him. He takes a breath.

"I know. It was part of Jonouchi's story too. She was angry too, that I knew, robbing her of the impact of throwing the royals' slaughter in my face..."

He walks over to the nearest wall and presses a palm against it.

"I know giving her a chance is the right decision. But I'm not sure how I can..."

"Is it?" Atem walks over to Kaiba after a moment of silence. It seems no matter what, somehow they come to this place. The items are created. Atem dies. Bakura goes mad. Years pass and it starts anew. Things change but the main points remain. He stops close by, dipping his head under to catch the eyes that looked down at the ground.

"You weren't the one who created her. It's not your burden to bear. So, if your heart can't forgive the pain she caused you then don't forgive it." Atem pauses. "But be cautious. As valid a course of action this may be, it will weigh on you soon enough. Darkness always does."

And there's the face he can't hide from. Seto finally lifts his head, straightens his shoulders again.

"I'll support your decision. And Yugi's. I might not like it...or be sure how I feel about it, to be honest, but I'll support you. However you need."

After a few more moments of thought, he inclines his head.

"Have you visited the spa car yet? It might be a good time. Late, dark, probably not too busy."

"Yugi has far more patience and heart than the both of us combined, I fear. It is their gift." He watches as the man regains his posture. Eyes continue to follow him all the way up. "Then don't let me lose myself if this has failed."

He remembers, he'll always remember. The things he was willing to do and when Yugi first became conscious of it. Now he is in his own body again. He doesn't have another mind to balance him, to keep him from those things and while Atem had learned a lot, had changed a lot, some people just. Really know how to push his buttons. He's nowhere near as patient or forgiving as Yugi was.

Thoughts that all came to a screeching halt. Wait -- what was Kaiba suggesting? His mouth opened for a moment then clicked shut again. Whew, did it get hot in this gym all of a sudden or what. No, no it was nothing like that. It couldn't possibly be but also why did he think it was in the first place. Did he want it to be? Hold on, let him. Get his stoic face back on. Arms cross, and Atem recovers with a flick of his brow upward.

"You're suggesting we visit a spa." Let him just make sure he heard that correctly.

"You're stuck with me", Kaiba promises, a hint of a smile on his face. "Yugi too. He'd never give up on us either."

For better or worse. Kaiba rolls his shoulder, ready to go, but he's caught off guard by Atem's reaction.

"...yes? It's a popular 'bonding' activity around here. When I feel lost or frustrated, talking to someone while we relax usually helps.'

He is definitely a little flustered about it, with a slightly uncertain tone of voice and pink cheeks. But he's standing firm beside his offer, eyes imploring.

Atem spent a few more moments before the shift in tone. Just searching. Those eyes. That face. That promise softening his features. Solidifying the reality of what he was asking and how he'd do the same, in turn. Though it wasn't spoken. If Kaiba ever found himself drowning again, he'd pull him out. Like he tried to pull Bakura out. It was so much easier when he was pulling someone else out.

The awkwardness that came with Seto's proposal did slide away -- for him, at least. Popular bonding activity. That -- Atem looks at him deadpan for a second before he lets out a relieved laugh. Oh, that is such a Kaiba way of describing something. And now that the pale skin shows a blush, well. Atem's feeling much better himself. What better way to take the spotlight off of yourself than to put it on someone else?

"I accept your proposition to visit this, how to say, popular bonding location." He doesn't comment on the rest of Kaiba's words yet, but he feels. Mm, such happiness. That this man has finally found an ability to let go a little. Trust. It's so. Wonderful.

Good. That's settled. Kaiba makes a 'follow me' gesture and leads the way down toward the spa. It's quite a walk, and he's happy to take it in mostly-thoughtful silence. This should put him in the proper meditative mindset, right? He needs to focus on his goal: keeping Atem on an even keel.

Right. That's the important thing here, not any of his own worries.

Too soon, they arrive at the spa. It's a peaceful place with its calming decor and low, light music in the air, steam gently rising from the water. Thankfully, they seem to be alone in here at the moment.

He leads Atem over to the small changing room, and here he---takes a breath. Oh boy, Seto really didn't think this one all the way through. There's a rack of swimsuits stuffed in the back of this room, of course, but given both of their cultures' bathing rituals...he should do this properly, right? No chickening out.

Seto takes one bench and begins the long process of undressing. It's not that he's dragging his feet much, there's just...a lot of belts. Way too many belts. His breathing quickens a little as the last few items come off, revealing the thin, sharp lines on his back and muscle he's hesitant about explaining---but the locket stays on. There's no way he's leaving that in this room with a thief afoot.

So he drapes a towel over one arm and struts toward the water, as casual as he can muster about nudity that doesn't at all feel casual to him. But he'd never back down from a challenge.

"Just try not to fall asleep. I've had to carry someone out of here once."

The walk was silent. For Atem, he spent a great amount of time flitting his eyes over toward the man who had both changed so much yet not at all from the man he knew. He found himself terribly intrigued by this new attitude and outlook. Caught off guard, as well. Uncertain but curious.

There was a moment when they both stepped into the spa that he stopped, took in the warm atmosphere and dipped his head with a wide smile. You really have changed, Kaiba. His heart felt lighter and all at once the God-King was flooded with such an overwhelming sensation of gratitude and joy. That he's happy; that Yugi is happy and Gods he just hopes with every inch of his being that they can be happy together. And grow, and love, and he's long forgotten about the whole Bakura thing (for now).

"It is beautiful here," he comments as they travel toward the dressing room. You could almost forget it was a train. And unlike Kaiba, the Pharaoh thought nothing much of it so when Seto stops for a breath Atem damn near almost runs into him. He looks up, blinks a few times and then -- oh. Hahaha, oh. Well.

Please allow him to be a little amused.

And Atem thinks about making a comment on it as his feet round the man to find a bench and rid himself of this awful attire he's stuck in. It takes him considerably less time. So there he is, in all his golden glory stark nude with one leg hanging over the other. Perhaps he, too, had a surprising amount of muscle hidden behind the clothing he wore. Flawless skin, which may strike someone as a little odd. Not a single scratch upon him.

So he's back to considering making a comment about this whole fiasco. And likely the casual gaze didn't help easy Kaiba's nerves as he worked himself free of clothing but to give the man reprieve, he'll just continue to look horribly amused in silence. And watch the man strut away like he owned the place with a few chuckles under his breath.

Alright, Atem follows shortly after. There were a few things he found himself curious about but not yet ready to comment on.

"And you would carry me, would you?" And while this scene was entertaining he did also wish to help the other man feel comfortable. Just... not quite yet sure how. "I fear you'd never let me live that down Kaiba."

"Not quite befitting of royalty, but close," Kaiba jokes...anything to cut the tension. Atem's been downright buzzing since they got here. It's a far more positive buzz than the one he'd encountered a short while ago, and that's a relief. But he gets the familiar feeling that his friend is reveling in some secret knowledge or insight, like he's laid a trap that he's just waiting for Kaiba to spring.

And speaking of traps best avoided....Kaiba also has to do his very best to avoid looking too closely at Atem. The pharaoh is radiant, gorgeous...these thoughts had always been on his mind, perhaps most readily on those sleepless nights when he'd been trying to craft a digital image of Atem from his memories...but in his own skin, he's so far beyond what lines of code can capture there's no comparison.

Kaiba steps into water that just barely brushes the backs of his knees as casually as he can and turns around, summoning all the courage he can muster. He's looking up at Atem at this angle, both hands planted on his hips, subconsciously...posing? Flexing? It's hard to look impressive and in command while nude, but he's going to try.

"Hah...I'd let you live it down, on one condition. Admit that I bested you at something."

His voice is light and teasing, but if one looks closely...there's a slight uncertainty behind his expression. He's way off his deep end, off in uncharted waters that are just slightly terrifying.

And he extends an arm to...welcome Atem in? Help him in? Kaiba's not entirely sure why he's reaching out himself, but...eh. If it hangs, it hangs. The heat of the water calls to him, promising to wash such worries away.

"Oh you accept that I'm royalty now?" Atem teases back without missing a beat.

It's comfortable. It's familiar. It gives Atem time to stave off the responsibility he feels is yet to come. The responsibility of choosing a best course of action. There's a lot for him to consider here. Perhaps he considers nothing. Let's it slide. Ignores it and pretends, like he had been before, there was nothing.

But he's always felt a connection to the other man. The fact that Kaiba held such a large responsibility at such a young age, his desire to make things better for others and protect those he loves, his thirst for challenge, his ambition. A strategic mind; a ruthlessness, a fear of failure and losing. And likely much more. They were, and he had said this before, very similar people. It didn't start as kinship. No, he'd once seen Kaiba as he saw many others he battled against. An enemy. But that had changed.

And now he sees the changes in Kaiba, the warmth that Atem can only assume is in part due to Yugi's influence. He, too, had experienced this and been changed by that man. All of this is a boldness he'd never expect and Atem finds himself at a crossroads. Uncertain which way to step. So, for now the God-King remained confident and perhaps a little cheeky. Because what else could help ease tension than challenge and remarks?

Arms fold over his chest as eyes fall upon the other. That ever common stance of power and superiority from the other man certainly helped calm his restless heart. Its hard to look impressive and in command when there is a clear imbalance of height which, Atem being at the side and Kaiba already being in the water. Well, you walked right in to that one Seto.

Still, he has to scoff. It's customary. A grin filling Atem's lips. He'll take your hand, Kaiba. And nothing will be said of it. Yet. "We can't have that, can we? I suppose I'll have to not fall asleep then."

"Yes. Just don't expect me to bow or grovel for favor."

Seto's not sure why he keeps offering his hand. Is it to make up for all the times he rejected their bond? To assure himself that Atem is real and fully here in this same reality?

Or is it something else he wants? He can't be sure, but he helps Atem into the water with a faint smile and settles into the water, close at his side.

It really is nice. Seto exhales, tips his head back, and closes his eyes for a minute. Almost all the tension melts away. Still feeling a little fluttery.

"You seem to be in a better mood already."

"From you? I'd certainly never." He spent a lot of time trying to convince Kaiba that they were better as a team and while this was true and he believed it to be there was something amiss when Atem returned to his land. Challenge and defiance.

Whatever it is that Seto is going through, and he does know there is something happening in that mind of his even if he doesn't know what, Atem hopes that the small and simple brush of his thumb and squeeze of that hand helps ease things before he lets go. And now, with the waters penetrating his body, he sighs, deeply relaxed.

"I am," eyes flick over the man, settling close. "But you still seem tense, nervous?"

Months ago, Seto would have responded with a deflection. Maybe a challenge. He briefly imagines challenging Atem to a naked wrestling match, and...

...all right, that was probably the wrong thing to imagine. He bites down on the inside of his cheek to calm himself.

"Glad you're feeling better, I've just..."

He rakes a hand through his hair.

"I guess I'm always wondering...what's going on in that head of yours. If you see things in me that I'm not aware of myself. Never been able to hide from you."

But he's not pulling away. He's still sitting close, watching Atem's face as if he can find the answers.

"You might not be nervous, but you're thinking."

"I am thinking," he confirms with a nod. "About many things." His voice keeps that ember deepness but it's softened, loosened from its authoritative tone. "Watching, too. The way you fidget. How your muscles tense."

This was very different. Different than any conversation they've ever had and honestly he cannot remember a conversation between the two of them that wasn't some kind of battle or back and forth. His time with them, comparatively, had been short.

"On the contrary," it is again quiet now that he's settled. "For a long time, you hid very well from me." Atem tips his head to the side with a small smile. "I play a good bluff. It wasn't until much later that I started to see who you were. I admit, perhaps I do not know as much as I think." He pauses to think for a second. "But I want to."

The revelation of the bluff is...surprising. And Seto feels a little heated, a little silly, but he's come too far to back down now.

"...I want to know you too," Seto says honestly. "For as long as I was under the delusion you were another side of Yugi...I think back on what little I remember. But I didn't need to know all about you to want to duel you. Or...if I'm honest, I guess what I wanted was to feel understood."

He settles down and appears to relax. Atem hasn't probed past where he's comfortable, they're two people who understand each other and work well together. The finer details don't matter so much, maybe.

And then he makes a dangerous offer, lulled into complacency by the comfort of the heat.

"What else would you want to know about me?"

That surprise doesn't escape him though and he lets a small laugh leave his lips. One only Seto could hear. Eyes seek the striking blue. In this dim light, there's something radiant about them. If not just a little mischievous for a moment. "A good king knows how to bluff, Seto. To not indite panic among his people; to intimidate his enemies."

He watches a little more, feeling urged to share the little things that he'd felt were in common. The things they shared; the things he knew. Mostly that, "after some time I saw a man who, like me, was given a huge responsibility. With dreams, and aspirations, and a desire to always be better. Do better."

Atem thinks for some small time before daring to move forward even closer. Water rolled down his skin as a hand lifted from the warmth to side down Kaiba's shoulder and back toward the thin scars displayed there.

"Tell me about these," he whispers. Eyes not moving from the deep blues.

A good king. From what little Seto knew, Atem had had little chance to perform the role, but he carried it well. Like he was born for it.

And he could command attention so well, especially when he called Seto's name like that. The softer name sounded right to his ears, after all the years holding up walls.

Walls that came further crashing down with his touch. True, others had seen his marks, but only Atem's fingers brushed them. Gently, encouraging Seto to speak when ready.

He was ready.

"I'm sure you can guess," Seto started. "Gozaburo held me to the standard of perfection. I'd usually cover for Mokuba, or defy an order, and he...molded me into the ruthless heir he wanted."

He sacrificed himself for the greater good on the very first night he took power. The first time, at least. Before he knew all he had come to know; before he remembered what he really was. That his namesake wasn't based upon anything but was, fully and truly, a God on earth. Yet being a diety on earth, in flesh, is still different than when walking among them. There'd been much to learn.

Still was.

As for this... he allows those fingers to drop. "I find myself wondering if Yugi would find a way to be compassionate here even after everything that man had done to you and your brother." It took him several tries to reel back that wrath and find compassion for Bakura and even that was still difficult. "He has this ability, doesn't he?" A break. "But I can't seem to find it."

No, Atem feels rage. Oh, were he to ever see that man again. Face to face. Would he even have the patience for penalties or would he go straight for the head? Eyes look downward for a moment as if the confession might have been somehow shameful. That maybe he is not able to balm the wounds that may still be there. They lift, slowly. A raw true curiosity in his voice. "How do you feel about it now?"

That is...definitely not the direction Seto expected Atem to take. He sits with his thoughts for a few moments, watches the gaze dip down, lets the weight of the words settle on him.

The idea of Gozaburo being a figure worthy of sympathy or kindness repulses him initially. His motivation was to produce a strong heir, and he did so by suppressing Seto's humanity, molding him as one would a machine.

But it had worked, hadn't it? A little too well. And the business world that had come to shape them both was broken...now that he'd known the love of a father who could provide him nurturing and support, the idea that he'd sought Gozaburo's approval back then felt like a cruel joke.

"You know how vain I can be...but Yugi doesn't mind, and that's all that matters."

Too much information? Probably. He flashes the echo of a smile and moves on.

"As for Gozaburo. I'm sure he was molded the same way I was, and his father before him, and so on. In business, there's a widespread belief that you can't be human. It's weakness. I'm sure kingship is the same. What I feel for him now is...pity. He'd hate that, but I'm fine with it."

Another snort. He moves on, scooting close. They're nearly touching. But this is an intimate discussion, and his voice is barely over a whisper.

"I'd probably be angry if Yugi blindly forgave him, but I don't think even he would. He tries to understand and offer another chance. Like a gentler version of you. The second chances you give out are hell, literally. But you gave me the choice to save what was left of my soul, and I'm...grateful. So there's nothing wrong with a second or third chance, but some people are lost causes. The trouble's figuring that out before you're too deep in the effort."

He listens the whole way through. Lets every word permeate through the air. Thinks on reactions, and actions, and places to go next. What best to say and what best to remain silent. The thing is... and that is true that these things are always passed down, passed down, passed down. Generation after generation. Through environment or circumstance. Through necessity to survive or thrive. There's a litany of reasons but what catches his interest is... well, many things actually.

Well, he doesn't want to speak of the most important one. So he doesn't. Somehow, in their quiet exchange, they've managed to come quite close, and after a small inhale Atem takes a step back. Swallowing his heart back down his throat and to his chest again.

His mouth opens for a moment but promptly shuts. Perhaps its best to leave it here. Not... put more on someone who already experienced so much. Eyes rise and he forces a smile. "But how do you feel about it, Kaiba? About the memories on your skin."

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