no net ensnares me

[fennu]

Who: Jiang Cheng + open!
Where: Quiet carriage
When: Merriment, just after platform
What: Jiang Cheng received a book. He is going to read that book and get embarrassed.
Warnings: The content of the book has some NSFW passages, but likely won't come up much!

FRONT MATTER.

Jiang Cheng hadn't really intended to ignore the book.

Throwing it back at Wei Wuxian had been an instinct of embarrassment more than anything else; skimming through the book meant that he was trapped with the knowledge that it was explicit, moreso than anything that he had read passed on to him by Nie Huaisang all those years ago. The fact that his brother, martial or otherwise, had been the one to give it to him had been mortifiying.

All the same, the notion of reading about fighting and battles and cultivation was too good to miss, so he settled down in the quiet carriage to begin to actually read it, something to get him through some of the quieter hours while he avoids... Well, most people.

It doesn't start out particularly explicit, so Jiang Cheng seems comfortable enough in the first few instances, tilting his head as he reads through and tries not to worder about all the reasons Wei Wuxian bought him this.

MAIN BODY.

Of course, as the book goes on Jiang Cheng gets a touch more discomforted being in the middle of a public train.

He looks almost painfully regal in his new robes from Kumoko, a mixture of purples and pinks with lotus flowers decoration in some fine details, making the book itself seem all the more out of place, especially as his face begins to get more and more red the further he goes. It's a matter of determination now, to get through to the end so that if he is ever asked by his stupid, idiotic, moron brother he can say with all honesty that he's made it through to the end.

Still, the further in the book he seems to get the more his eyes dart, the more his gaze flicks here and there, as if waiting to see if anyone is going to interrupt him. When he reads another blatant metaphor about swords and hands and then something reaching up to the cusp of dual cultivation he practically foams at the mouth, shutting the book and putting it down for what seems like a good half hour.

Eventually, he manages to pick it up again, but the glower on his face shows that he's still a little on edge.

EPILOGUE.

Perhaps the worst (or best?) part of the book for Jiang Cheng is the happy ending.

He re-reads the final chapter and epilogue about three or four times, as if it would somehow change because he's gone back over it.

The main couple ends up married, devoted to one another, cultivating as partners and living together in one of their homes, bright and happy and with the promise of a good future. The brothers, martial as they are, overcome their differences and end up with a friendship that goes as deep as being blood born. They survive and flourish and are happy, and that makes him breathe out a sharp little noise every time he reads it.

It's impossible, and when he puts the book down properly, he has to physically resist the urge to put his head into his arms and groan aloud.

Comments

[fennu]

"Which one?"

The fact that he has to ask is still a strange and startling occurrence an Jiang Cheng's face twists up a little bit before he breathes out a noise and forces himself not to think about it too hard. At least Wei Wuxian was being nice, whichever one it was - because he's been aware of at least three. Have there been more?

He really, really hopes that there haven't been more than three. It might be enough to really push him over the brink.

"Either way that sounds like him. He never thinks about himself, not really." Which is as complimentary as Jiang Cheng is entirely prepared to be. Shaking his head, he lets his eyes drop back down to her without too much hesitation.

"Just don't listen to him too much! He never listens to any rules or what anyone tells him to do!"

[happyends]

Which one truly is the question here on the train. Madoka has to think for a moment on how to even answer that. 'The one on our team' sure doesn't work when they both are on their team, huh..

So in the end she settles for: "Um, the one without.."

She moves her hands up to her head, moving them back and forth a little. Yes, she's trying to mimick the one fox ears one of them has, because she feels like any way to refer to them out loud ('animal ears', no way!!) would be too rude. (It looks really cute.)

"But-- um! He didn't seem like a bad person at all..! So even if he would ignore rules, I'm sure he'd have some good reason for it.."

[fennu]

There is a distinction between them for Jiang Cheng; one of them is his brother and the other is for another Jiang Cheng in another world. They haven't spoken too often, not since they'd argued in front of the demons, but he knows they could have some kind of relationship if they tried. He still has to decide if that is something he wants.

"The one without the fox spirit." He nods. "That one is my brother. From my world."

Snorting, he shakes his head. As if Wei Wuxian needed a good reason to break rules - any reason was good enough, even if it might seem foolish and stupid to everyone else. Jiang Cheng understands his motivations as well as anyone else does, he simply loathes the outcome. He hates what happens when Wei Wuxian makes a choice.

"He'll disobey rules whenever he wants. But..." A pause. "He wants what is best for people."

[happyends]

...

"Then you're similar."

Even if it might not be inherited, since they're not actual blood brothers. It still seems they share that similarity. Despite Jiang Cheng's more frigid exterior in comparison to how open and causal Wei Wuxian seemed when she spoke to him, she thinks they both share that kindness of wanting to take care of the people around them, even if they might show it differently.

"You really must be a family of good people."

[fennu]

"I obey rules."

Jiang Cheng protests it almost immediately, not wanting another comparison between himself and Wei Wuxian to weigh too heavily on his shoulders. He wants to be free of that, just as he was for the last sixteen years, but it's inevitable. With his brother being here - two of them! - there's no way to avoid it, and he has to resist the urge to let it grate on him too much.

But the mention of his family makes him breathe out a soft little noise.

"We were." Is that enough? "My sister was the best of all of us."

[happyends]

Please, Jiang Cheng, she was just trying to give you a compliment!

But Madoka knows better than to try and clarify herself or push it when he's protesting like that, so instead she pauses for a moment. Just long enough to let the next thing he says end up getting processed by her brain.

It's then that she speaks up again, with a curious little stare.

"What was your sister like..?"

Maybe his relationship with her is - was - less complicated than with his brother? Even though that past tense usage definitely isn't lost on the girl.

[fennu]

What are compliments? People have rarely offered them to him before - criticisms are a more popular and common notion when it comes to Jiang Cheng, at least in his personal experience.

Talking about his sister is still somewhat difficult, something that sticks in the back of his throat, but he's trying to get better at it. He's trying to be more vocal, to get accustomed to having her memory right there, because then he can start sharing her memory with a-Ling and others all over again. If he doesn't, then...

Then Jin Ling will never know about his mother, and that is a cruelty.

"She was kind," he says, voice soft and careful. "She took care of everyone she could, even if they didn't notice it was her. She always took care of us, and protected us, and made sure that we were okay. She was very motherly, no matter what."

[happyends]

"That does sound a little like a mom.." Madoka adds, with a slight nod. Sure, in Madoka's own family it was her father who did most of that work, but it's not as if her own mother wasn't looking out for her and the family all the same, even if it was in ways that no one might notice.

It does lead her to think of a different question. One that's perhaps even more difficult, but it's a natural conclusion to draw, she thinks. Madoka shifts uncomfortably before asking: "Did you guys not have a mom around to care for you then..?"

Is that why his sister had to step up to the plate?

[fennu]

"She was older than me, so it was natural for her. I think she liked to take care of people." And Yanli would have been the most wonderful of mothers, slipping into the role naturally as breathing. If she had been able to live to see Jin Ling grow up and mature into the grouchy teen that he is now... She would have been the most dedicated of parents to him.

Jiang Cheng tenses, noticeably, when his mother is mentioned and he pauses for a moment to take a long, deep breath. It doesn't come easily to him, speaking about his lost parents, but he has no reason to shy away from it right now. Not when it was so long ago and Madoka hasn't done anything to earn his anger.

"I did, but she taught us other things." How to be hard, how to be sharp, how to be angry. All the terrible parts of himself a gift from his mother, leaving his father to loathe the very sight of him.

[happyends]

.. other things.

Madoka isn't sure how to interpret this statement about 'other things.' What other things could there be to gain from a mother? It's not that she can't think of a few positive things if she really stretches the limits of her imagination, but the way he says it makes it already sound like it's not anything positive at all.

And though she's curious, she's way too uncomfortable asking about that. It feels too personal, too - potentially - sad. So instead the girl folds her hands in her lap.

"I, um.. In my family, mama is the one who works," she instead says. As if talking about her own family might distract him from thoughts about his own. "She doesn't come home until dinnertime, or sometimes a bit later, because she works really hard. Papa is the one who takes care of me and my baby brother at home. He can make really delicious food.."

[fennu]

It's clear from Madoka's reaction that she can probably guess what his mother was like, but it's not something Jiang Cheng wants to dwell on.

He'd seen enough memories of Madame Yu in the illusions during missions to know that he feels achy just thinking about her. She had been killed right in front of him when he had been powerless to protect her, her most powerful weapon left in his hands, quite literally. He doesn't know what to do with those memories, coloured by experience and the knowledge that he understands her but doesn't know if he can forgive her.

That's painful enough.

"That's what a-Jie did," Jiang Cheng nods. "She would make food for us, and take care of us. My father was Sect Leader of Yunmeng and was often busy with that, so when my brother and I weren't learning we were with our sister."