sizhui | wen yuan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wenyuan) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
voidtreckerexpress2021-08-09 10:15 pm
wenyuan) wrote in voidtreckerexpress2021-08-09 10:15 pm
Entry tags:
open!
Who: Wen Sizhui and open to all with two closed starters
Where: All over the train
When: Day 20 - Merriment
What: Wen Sizhui about and interacting with people as he tries to get back into the swing of things.
Warnings: mentions of death and execution and murder (past).
Kitchens
There is a sense of calm when he goes through with the meal preparation of the month. The task is familiar enough that it makes him smile. Sometimes one needed the familiar motions of chopping, preparing, and cooking to help them feel centered again. He hears a clatter and looks up from where he's washing dishes with a warm smile.
"Oh! Were you looking for me?"
Quiet room
Sizhui takes a deep breath in then releases that same breath out, slow and steady as he settles into a meditation practice that Hanguang Jun had taught him since he was a young boy. His eyes slowly close. Another breath in, breath out.
The door slides open and Sizhui doesn't move from his place, instead remaining calm and smiling softly as his meditation is walked in on.
Spending time with brother
Sizhui makes his way through his brother's usual haunts to see if he could find Sizhui. There were quite a few things they needed to talk about. He pokes his head around the corner.
"Ah, didi?" he calls out. "Are you here?"
shovel talk with Dennis
Someone else he wanted to talk to was his friend Dennis. Well. His friend for now. Depending on how things go, he may gain another brother soon enough. Though he wonders if Dennis truly knows what it means to be invovled with a Lan. He only knows from the stories he's heard from Xian-ge and Hanguang Jun.
"Dennis?"
Where: All over the train
When: Day 20 - Merriment
What: Wen Sizhui about and interacting with people as he tries to get back into the swing of things.
Warnings: mentions of death and execution and murder (past).
Kitchens
There is a sense of calm when he goes through with the meal preparation of the month. The task is familiar enough that it makes him smile. Sometimes one needed the familiar motions of chopping, preparing, and cooking to help them feel centered again. He hears a clatter and looks up from where he's washing dishes with a warm smile.
"Oh! Were you looking for me?"
Quiet room
Sizhui takes a deep breath in then releases that same breath out, slow and steady as he settles into a meditation practice that Hanguang Jun had taught him since he was a young boy. His eyes slowly close. Another breath in, breath out.
The door slides open and Sizhui doesn't move from his place, instead remaining calm and smiling softly as his meditation is walked in on.
Spending time with brother
Sizhui makes his way through his brother's usual haunts to see if he could find Sizhui. There were quite a few things they needed to talk about. He pokes his head around the corner.
"Ah, didi?" he calls out. "Are you here?"
Someone else he wanted to talk to was his friend Dennis. Well. His friend for now. Depending on how things go, he may gain another brother soon enough. Though he wonders if Dennis truly knows what it means to be invovled with a Lan. He only knows from the stories he's heard from Xian-ge and Hanguang Jun.
"Dennis?"
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Dennis sighs heavily, "What didn't we?" He'll shake his head and frowns in a little pout, "S'always some big voice in the sky with this stuff seems like, but we were stuck in this like... illusion world. Had fake memories, lives... hard even now thinking of some of them and reminding myself weren't real or I guess the things we did cause of em were built off lies." And it's really kinda sucking a lot.
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He waits patiently as Dennis gathers himself to talk about their experience. An illusion world, just like what JIngyi had mentioned. He puts a hand on his shoulder to provide some kind of comfort.
"We don't have to talk about if you don't want to," he offers.
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"No it's... some stuff happened between Lan Sizhui and me, now shit's just. A mess." More so in his head than any where else he supposes. He really doesn't want to get into this again, but if anyone would be good to talk to wouldn't it be Sizhui? He's kind and considerate like his brother. Fingers card through short cropped hair that's starting to grow out now, sighing.
"Our false memories were us dating." A little pause and god is this maybe weird cause he's Sizhui? "We were happy there, it was real good, but- I'm not, I mean I don't think-"
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So he listens patiently as Dennis speaks. Then he seems to struggle with what the false memories meant and what real life meant. He gently pats his shoulder again to let him know he's safe with him.
"Is it a mess because you had liked what you experienced in the false memories?" he asks gently.
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"I guess?" He shrugs, "But it's more like... I want to make sure it's me that liked that, not something influenced by memories." Which probably still sounds kinda shitty, he'll try again, "I mean, what if eventually all that fades away and what I thought was me isn't and I don't feel like that no more?" He wouldn't want to hurt Sizhui like that, wouldn't want to put him through that sort of thing. Also Jingyi would probably kill him.
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Not just Jingyi.Sizhui doesn't have a lot of experiences with courting or love for that matter. But he's observed a lot. He makes a humming noise and shoves his hands into his pockets as he considers what to say back. He knows that Jingyi would have likely said something to Dennis about hurting Sizhui and knows what it means for a Lan to be with a person. What would be the most diplomatic approach that would satisfy a Lan's idea of a fated one and--an idea springs up!
"Dennis, do they have courtships in London?"
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"Uhh, yeah? I mean, it's not like anything set it stone. Most people meet some how, go on a date and decide if they still wanna see each other after that. Usually date for a while before any talk of marriage is mentioned. Even then ain't never a one shot and you're done thing." Like how Jingyi kept drilling into him the Lan way was. Which he understands and he respects that, it's just so final with no build up to that finality.
"It's different for everyone though. Some people get married after a few months, others will date multiple people before finding someone they wanna marry. Some never do."
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He echoes the word date as Dennis explains what it is. It sounds similar to a courtship ritual. He nods as he takes it all in.
"And in doing this, you're more clear of your feelings, right?" he asks.
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Just them as they are here. Apparently that's a no go for the Lans though.
"Guess it's like... rather wade into an ocean first before diving into the middle of it, right?" Does that sound smart. It felt smart.
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He nods slowly, considering it thoughtfully.
"...Huanguang Jun and Xian-ge had many adventures together for a long time before we became a family," he offers offhandedly, "I like thinking that was when they spent courting each other in their own way. From what Jingyi--" He stops, then adds for context, "the Jingyi I knew told me, the rumor was that Hanguang Jun never even looked at another in any sort of interest."
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"Guess if you find that someone, no one else holds a flame to em." He's not sure if that's what he'd call what's going on with Sizhui. Sure since the moment he met, the both of them honestly, he thought Sizhui was a beautiful young woman, until realization of course. Even after he knows he's stared more than a fair amount at him too, which is terribly rude, but-!
Brain go brrr, Sizhui pretty.
"Do you think they'd disapprove of someone not from your world?"
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At his question, Sizhui takes a moment to think on it, twisting his lips in thought not unlike the more gremlin of his fathers.
"...as long as Sizhui is happy," he says, "then they'd be happy. They might be a little hesitant, not being able to know who your family is or where you're from. But if they see that you make him happy, then they would be happy."
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"Better off they don't know my family." He motions with a hand as if to take that back, "Well, not my dad, but me mum, sure." His mother was a great woman and she probably wouldn't really get a lot of this crazy stuff, but she only wanted Dennis to be happy and healthy.
"... dunno if I'd make him happy, but I'd want to." Was there anything better than seeing Sizhui smile and the apples of his cheeks get bigger? Maybe, but he's thinking it's pretty high up on the list of best things ever.
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He beams and nods.
"And you've already met some of Sizhui's family." Come on, Dennis. You're talking to at least one. There's others that he may need to talk to. "And what matters is that you want to make him happy. There are no guarantees for the future, after all. That's what Xian-gege says."
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"Haven't met them though, your fathers, his fathers? The dads." Now that's the nerve wracking stuff.
"... but s'not like I wanna go ask for his hand in marriage or nothing, this is between Sizhui and I. Everything else comes second." Though the hand in marriage thing, if Jingyi was right...
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"They're very nice, I assure you." His face falters a little. "Ah...Hanguang Jun is nice to those who are upstanding. His nice is different than Xian-ge's."
But when Dennis mentions marriage, Sizhui makes another thinking face, considering his answer carefully. There's no doubt that perhaps Jingyi already put the fear of
Lan Qirentheir courting practices in him. He crosses his arms and looks up, trying to think of the best way to explain it. When it dawns on him, he looks back at his friend."The Lan take their courtships very seriously. They believe in having a fated person. Sometimes you don't recognize the fated person right away. Hanguang Jun and Xian-ge supposedly fought a lot when they were younger. But after a while, when Hanguang Jun got to know Xian-ge better, he knew that he was his fated person." He pauses and tilts his head, "do people...not court to marry where you're from?"
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"So they can only be with their fated person? There's never no mess ups or mistakes?" Do they just some how always get it right?
"Mm, some do? Not really the main goal of a lotta couples now a days, a big commitment and all, not everyone is ready for that, even if they love one another." Dennis leans back against the nearby wall, considering something.
"Some people can't get married even if they wanted. Depends on where they live. Gay marriage just got legalized where I'm from, but still a long ways from being okay every where." Yes hello, he's only from 2014. Crazy how things are different depending on where someone is from or what time. Worlds be wilding.
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Mess ups. Mistakes. There were people who had their opinions. He mentally shakes his head. Not the time to divulge that when Dennis keeps speaking about how courtship works back home where he's from. He makes a thinking noise, a hum to mull over the information.
"Is that a goal of yours?" he asks.
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"I mean... I guess? One day, but never figured I'd be thinking so much 'bout that sorta thing right now. Was working on getting my life together, being something." Being a better man, fixing things, not being like his shitty father.
"Some day I'd like to be a father. Be a good father." That's the important part.
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He nods on and on as Dennis speaks about being something, bettering himself. That does put whatever doubt in his heart to rest about the sort of person that fancies his brother.
"If this courtship goes well, then you wouldn't be a good father on your own."
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"Y-Yeah, don't know if I'd want kids anytime soon though." Get his life together first then live that life for a little while.
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He wouldn't want nieces and nephews right this second.
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"Some day." He nods. "... what about you? Would you ever want kids?"
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He thinks on it.
"I'm expected to have children at some point," he admits. He gives a roll of his shoulders. "I never really thought too hard on it and assumed that when I meet my person, then our lives would unfold from there."
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