voidtreckerexpress | We're trying so hard to get it all right

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We're trying so hard to get it all right

Who: Shadow Link, Clef, selected individuals
Where: Training Gym Carriage
When: Merriment 21
What: Emotional Drama
Warnings: Very emotional arguments that involve family.

Shadow knew himself. He had to know himself. If he wanted to be more than a shadow, he had to be aware of his own shortcomings and compensate for them so he could stay on the track that was important to him.

He had known for years Clef didn't understand that. Its why he had kept him at a distance on purpose. He couldn't risk someone being close who didn't understand that.

But he supposed the danger of trying to be a person is person things happened, like emotions sneaking up on you. It was unfortunate. It just meant he had to be more aware of his own feelings. He had to keep the hurt away from his heart.

But Link and Clef have never been able to talk and....

He couldn't stand Link being hurt more.

So he had to try something.

Which is why when he finds Clef during his exploration, he decides its time to try.

"Come with me," he said flatly, in a tone that isn't likely to listen to argument.

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"Seriously, who knew someone could get that old and not know what a clue was," Shadow said with a snicker.

Shadow smiled sadly and nodded. "I know. I mean, that was why I kept him at a distance. I knew he had a hard time understanding....and I knew I needed that. It wouldn't work without it. I kind of hoped with ya being a legitimately good person, he would have an easier time."

"Probably because it's not in a book."

Link sighed. "Yeah, I--I'm not really sure he even understands me."

"Probably."

"I wonder if there's another person he does understand," Shadow said, leaning against him.

"I don't know. I don't think so. He still doesn't understand why his Zagato took their princess. Even after he came to Nautilus and explained things. And Clef still killed the guy...."

That was another entire issue on its own, one that Link really wasn't ready to tackle. Morally, he found it abhorrent. But as it had happened in Nautilus, Link presumed the fellow had returned to a Gate and then had gone back to Sleep.

Link sighed. "I don't think he understands people. Too many outside factors that you can't read about in books. And then when you factor in other cultures and other worlds, he's....not as learned as he likes to think he is."

"....wait, seriously?" He paused. "Why did he kidnap her?"

"Said they were in love. That she was trapped trying to keep their whole world going with her prayers."

Link hesitated. "I believe him. It made sense. He wasn't looking for sympathy or support. He was just stating facts. He was angry, and it made sense that he was angry. It made sense that he'd hate a world and system set up to depend on one person alone, a person who didn't get to have a life outside of prayer. Especially if he loved her."

He frowned. "Goddesses, is that the entire issue? That Clef doesn't understand love?"

Shadow listened and....

That bitter resentment grew. Ah. So that might have been it. It would explain a lot.

"I mean, we know he doesn't. He thinks love is a purely good thing and it ain't. Love is a powerful thing, and like all powerful things, perfectly capable of evil as well as good. Pretty sure light isn't used for evil back home rests solely on the fact it isn't something many can use," Shadow said.

"It certainly explains why he tells himself I'm a good person who was misguided instead of the truth. Pretty similar. Loved someone enough where burning the world sounded like a great idea," Shadow muttered.

Edited 2021-08-15 12:47 (UTC)

"I'm not even sure if he's had any friends. Peers, I mean, like...equals. Not students or whatever."

If Clef had even ever been a child. Link was starting to doubt it. He knew the man didn't remember his own parents, which, given circumstances, Link couldn't hold that against him. So those early types of loves, did they even happen for Clef?

Link exhaled slowly. "He sets standards that no one could possibly live up to. It's terrifying and hurtful. I'm not a scholar no matter how many books he shoves my way. He sorta sees people how he wants them to be."

"Just threw himself in all his books and trying to be a powerful magic user. Not too many could be on summoning savior levels," Shadow said. "Also why he'd trap himself at ten. Not many well adjusted people would choose that."

"He sets standards that people fail immediately. He assumes yer gonna be like a kid the books say, he acts like I'm some hero type who just thinks badly of himself. Instead yer nowhere near close to any kind of kid with weird maturity and immaturity levels and I just know what parts of me that struggle with trying to be good. He paints these pictures in his head and he won't see the truth of them," he said, burying his face against Link's shoulder.

"That's apparently a cultural thing. His world is a little weird. If you had to be stuck at an age, I'd personally think sometime in a person's twenties would be ideal, but, there's a lot to be said for looking old and crusty too."

Link shared Shadow's frustration there. It was frustrating in his own situation, sure, but, he felt it more acutely on his brother's behalf. He wanted Clef to be able to see Shadow's efforts for how hard they really were. Not just take them for granted.

He put his arm around Shadow and sighed. "Probably wouldn't have been such an issue if I'd been an uglier kid." It was a thin attempt at humor.

"They get their people stuck at ten? Seriously? Who wants to spend centuries regularly trying to reach the top shelves of things," Shadow said. "Twenties definitely makes more sense. Hermits do get listened to a lot more though."

It was certainly part of his resentment. He wanted things to be better for Link, of course. But to be told hus efforts were easy, its natural for him to be good...it just felt like insult to injury.

"Too adorable to be anything other then a perfect angel, huh?" Shadow said with a small, slightly amused huff.

"The earlier they stop aging the more powerful, or something like that. But, there's a lot to be said for aging gracefully. Gosh, I'm not sure anyone would take the Lake Professor seriously if he looked like a kid...."

He snorted. "That, and, I'm pretty sure no one would have tried to adopt me. Ugly kid who runs around armed to the teeth and plays with explosives? Probably a non-issue."

"So they want their strongest to be beaten by shelves," Shadow said flatly. "What happens with a naturally gifted kid ends up as a toddler? Or a kid playing? They ever think that through?"

"Clearly took a few too many blasts, can't trust that in a home. Ya just got cursed with good looks," Shadow said. "Not that I can complain too much. At least its working out better for your descendants. Puppy dog eyes were very helpful in getting out of trouble."

"If I'm understanding correctly, it's a willpower thing. They can stop and start aging, if they're powerful enough. But, yeah. I'd prefer being able to reach things."

He snorted a laugh. "Funny thing, puppy dog eyes do nothing in a society of all children." Link paused. "Okay, maybe on Saria. But, not generally."

"And he....just keeps being ten." That was a long pause. "He really is egosticalbto stay ten that long just to say how strong he is."

"That is yer downfall. Meanwhile my owner got out of so much trouble for years that way. Just got worse with Red. A shame I was never alone with him, I might have heel turned sooner," he said. "Downright adorable."

"I...hadn't even thought of it that way...." Link truly hadn't, but, he thought Shadow made a valid point.

That got another laugh. "I'm told I make an adorable Deku Scrub, but, mostly, just was the weird fairy kid from the forest once I got around adults for the first time."

"Especially after Nautilus. Pride over practicality," he said with a frown. He can get some pride, but there surely has to be an extent? He's had problems with his height before.

"Deku scrubs can be cute. The combo has to be potent," Shadow said with a sage nod. "Fairy kid has its own mystique at least?"

"I mean...it's his choice, of course, but...you gotta adapt in any world. Especially in worlds that are as diverse as this and as Nautilus was."

"Being a weird fairy kid does come in handy when it comes to people being willing to explain things. Being a deku scrub kid means people are willing to tell you all kinds of things they normally wouldn't, and fuss over you."

A beat.

"It also means you'll get mauled by dogs."

"Yeah. Just being a bit taller would help with a lot of situations," he said. "But then again, he's never known how to adapt."

"Can't knock getting explanations," he said. He frowned. "Ya were okay, right?"

"He doesn't. Not that I've seen, at least."

Link grinned, sheepishly. "Yeah, Anju patched me up. Her whole family was really nice."

"Neither have I," he said. "If its not in a book, he doesn't seem to know how to learn something new."

"That's good," Shadow said. "I hope ya avoided dogs afterwards."

"It's kinda worrying. It's very worrying, really."

"Yeah, as a scrub I had to. They were not fans. Loved me as a Zora, though."

"It really is. This thing moves, that makes a lot more factors to worry about then Nautilus. Storms had a reset, whatever we do here might not," he said.

"Really? I would have thought the smell of fish would be more enticing."

"I wish I could help him with that. To help him see that sometimes the way we usually do things won't work and you have to change your approach. Or step back from a situation."

Link sighed. "Isn't there a saying about insanity being doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? I think I remember something like that, but, probably from a storm or something."

He grinned a little. "To be honest, I think that's why they liked me as a Zora. It was a lot of fun to be in a famous band for a bit too, I can't lie."

"There is, yeah. The world won't change is ya won't, so just repeating the same thing won't work. Not unless something else changes, but we've at least tried other approaches," Shadow said with a sigh.

"Walking meal ticket, huh? A band does seem like a lot of fun," Shadow said.

We're trying so hard to get it all right

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