We're trying so hard to get it all right

[shadowcourage]

Who: Shadow Link, Clef, selected individuals
Where: Training Gym Carriage
When: Merriment 21
What: Emotional Drama
Warnings: Very emotional arguments that involve family.

Shadow knew himself. He had to know himself. If he wanted to be more than a shadow, he had to be aware of his own shortcomings and compensate for them so he could stay on the track that was important to him.

He had known for years Clef didn't understand that. Its why he had kept him at a distance on purpose. He couldn't risk someone being close who didn't understand that.

But he supposed the danger of trying to be a person is person things happened, like emotions sneaking up on you. It was unfortunate. It just meant he had to be more aware of his own feelings. He had to keep the hurt away from his heart.

But Link and Clef have never been able to talk and....

He couldn't stand Link being hurt more.

So he had to try something.

Which is why when he finds Clef during his exploration, he decides its time to try.

"Come with me," he said flatly, in a tone that isn't likely to listen to argument.

Comments

[shadowcourage]

"Ya heard what I said," Shadow said.

A father is supposed to protect. A father is supposed to protect. He couldn't let an impostor hurt Link, hurt Zelda.

[guru_clef]

"I.... I'm... what am I...."

Breaking. Breaking.

But if he's actually Shadow.. can't hurt him either... have to show I trust him... even if he can't accept love... have to....

Have to....

Father. Guru. Ascended.

The words swam like sharks around him, part of his mind even as they devoured it. He was shaking even as he was getting paler and paler. Hitting the breaking point at a hundred miles an hour and speeding up. Always speeding up.

Have to...

[shadowcourage]

"Yer what?" Shadow asked.

But what were the chances of Shadow being here?

Can I risk Link, the son I know is here, on a vain hope?

[guru_clef]

"I... Don't.... know....."

Who was he? What was he? Was Shadow really here but he wasn't....

Shattering, shattering, spiraling down and around himself. Breaking apart.

If we don't have hope... what is left...?

[shadowcourage]

"Someone whose not paying attention," Shadow said dully.

Link and I have each other. We do. Unless...unless the impostor takes that away.

[guru_clef]

"Trying...."

Link... never counted on me anyway.... Maybe he'd be happier if he leaves....

The shaking got worse, his eyes closed.

I lose everyone... they all...leave...

His breath shuddered, rattling out.

He had to stay awake. For Shadow. If this was Shadow. Had to be. Was it? Wasn't it?

[shadowcourage]

"Are ya though? How much have ya missed already?" Shadow asked.

How can I know its Shadow?

Do I even know Shadow at all?

[guru_clef]

He was right... Shadow or not Shadow. Was right. He failed.

Was always going to fail.

One more rattling breath and he was gone. His mind had just shut down and he was passed out, or like enough to passed out as to make no difference. All the protections and spells he had cast at the start fell to shambles as he lost the battle with himself; as his mind crashed and joined his body in being broken on the ground....

[shadowcourage]

Shadow watched him go down....

And sighed, pulling back the dark magic. "Ya didn't even notice once, did ya?" He can't say he's surprised. He wish he could be, but he can't be. This was how it always was, every time.

Clef decided on something and he stuck to the idea to the point of destruction. It why he left on Diagad. Its why he refused to see Shadow and only saw the idea.

And it was why he didn't even question why his thoughts were different. He never paid attention to why he thought and felt the things he did. A person of absolutes.

Shadow knew how dangerous absolutes were.

But he can't deny he had hoped there would be something to prove what he thought was wrong. But no, from start to finish...it was what he suspected.

It never hurt this much to be right before.

"Yer a real idiot," he muttered, picking up Clef.

The library car would be best. Link wouldn't show up there, most likely, and he can wait to see just how long Clef would be like this.

[guru_clef]

He'll have a long wait. Because Clef...

Clef is not going to wake naturally. Not going to wake on his own.

The world he came from... Will was everything. He still looked like a child because that was how old he was when his will was so strong that he crossed a threshold. Will was why people on his world could be hundreds upon hundreds of years old.

And right now? His will was broken. Shattered.

Past his ability to fix himself, past his being capable of having the will to even be aware that he needed help.

He was just... gone.

But surely they could stop it from being forever...

...right?

[shadowcourage]

When Shadow wakes up in his own bed because of the dumb cabin curfew, he's hit a point of annoyance. He was ready for Clef to take time to wake up, but was he really so stubborn in his way of thinking it would take this long.

At least Shadow had the foresight to look up which cabin was Clef's before hand. And, well, that was the advantage of shadow powers, to just sneak right in. Or by any roommates as a shadow. In case train WOULD stop him.

And, well, he TRIED to do this the nice way.

Time to dump a bucket of water on his head and see how that goes.

[guru_clef]

It... went.

The water hit him, hit his bed. And made no difference. He could have dumped water over a statue to the same effect.

[shadowcourage]

Shadow stared for several long moments.

"...ya are real lucky I'm not getting Link because this is dumb. Yer dumb. Yer the dumbest ancient wizard in the world," Shadow said, rubbing his temple.

Well, time to bend up a book.

And set it on fire and open Clef's eyes so he can see a book burning in the air above him. (He'll be careful for the fire and embers to not LAND on Clef.)

[guru_clef]

Still nothing. His eye was forced open but it was unseeing. Blank.

As if there was no person behind it.

[shadowcourage]

"..." Shadow tapped down the panic. Panic did nothing because this shouldn't have done THIS MUCH. He knew he was pushing Clef, he knew that, but for him to shut down this hard...

Did he not TELL them something?

Confusion should not cause THIS in a person.

He goes to the light, turning it off, and plunging the world in darkness.

It made his power stronger, after all. He stepped to Clef, into his shadow, and pressed the dark magic forward.

WAKE UP!

[guru_clef]

The faintest barest flicker of Clef, not enough to respond, just enough to be found. He was still there. Barely. But something... something was very very wrong.

[shadowcourage]

Wrong is expected. Wrong is fine. What he needed was a response. And if he got a response, he was going to push it.

Are you going to make Link have to come save you?

You told him you'd be his dad, didn't you?

Are you going to put it on HIM to save you when you're perfectly capable of saving yourself?

You can't be a dad if you're not even willing to try.

[guru_clef]

The flicker... well... flickered. And shrank. Not even a thought there to latch onto. There wasn't enough of him there to think... Just react.

[shadowcourage]

There is anger. Anger that Clef was that much of a coward, that much unwilling to even TRY-

He gritted his teeth.

And what will Cephiro do if you aren't able to return?

You're necessary for the knights.

[guru_clef]

Except he wasn't. Not any more...

His part as done...

no one needs me any more.... the faintest whisper of a thought. To weak to even carry emotion.

[shadowcourage]

Shadow scoffed and he thought about getting Link because honestly, the emotional response would work far better.

Except that is putting the burden on LINK and Link didn't deserve that. Putting that on Link is the last thing he wants to do, because that might honestly break things between them even more, and that was the opposite of what he wanted.

Shadow would just have to do a work around for his own inability. Because in the end, he doesn't need Clef.

He's never needed someone who chose to hurt him over and over then dare look at him.

But he's been good at work arounds before.

No one needs anyone. Duties need people.

People only want people.

People have to make a choice.

What choice are you making for the people who chose you?

[guru_clef]

That small sense of Clef flickered more, flaring for a second before subsiding again. What little was left of him would be at war with himself, if war was not so strong a word. If it didn't involve emotions. Because those were almost gone.

His will was almost gone.

[shadowcourage]

A flare.

Well, if its a war, then one side needed to get a kick and even if he doesn't have the emotions to offer connection, he can certainly offer resolute stubbornness.

People chose you.

Wake up!

People chose you.

Wake up!

People chose you.

Wake up!

People chose you.

Wake up!

People chose you.

Wake up!

People chose you.

Wake up!

People chose you.

Wake up!

People chose you.

Wake up!

People chose you.

Wake up!

PEOPLE CHOSE YOU!

YOU OWE IT TO THEM TO WAKE UP!

[guru_clef]

A shudder ran through his physical body - the first physical response since he collapsed, and the flicker.. flared. Like it was reaching, desperately for... something. It wasn't like light or like shadows, like thin almost translucent form. Amorphous. But reaching. Flailing as if it were blind but knew something it needed were close. There was almost a desperation to the feel of Clef, a desperation visible in the form of his will.

[shadowcourage]

There it was. A reaction.

And Shadow pushed because he doesn't have the emotions, but Link does, and he knows what Link's emotions are.

And Clef should to.

He just needed him to remember it again.

You promised a boy who lost everyone important to him you would be there for him.

You owe him! To give up means you WILL hurt him!

People chose you!

You told them to choose you!

Now you have to honor that instead of hurting him like the world already has!

He chose you! YOU OWE HIM!

Now WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP-