voidtreckerexpress | (closed) it's a common thing to be out of line

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(closed) it's a common thing to be out of line

Who: Alice and Crowley
When: After the fake mission
Where: Starting in the standard carriage, then moving on
What: Alice is huffy, so her demon dad decides to start havoc to amuse her.
Warnings: Spoooooky ghosts.

Usually Alice doesn't mind dealing with missions. It's why she goes on them rather than staying back on the train - it's her hero complex playing up, the part of herself that she would never admit to, but that wouldn't want to see even a single person hurt who wasn't deserving of that hurt in some way.

But this wasn't like that. They were fighting against what felt like an impossible enemy, and for what? For absolutely nothing. She wasted way too much energy on a place without a single person in danger, and nothing could be more annoying to her like that. Nothing would make her feel more like she's just some puppet, being manipulated by forces greater than her all over again.

And she isn't afraid to show it either. Once Alice gets tired of beating up training dummies in a faint attempt to try and get this anger out, she just gets to outright sulking.

It's that way that a certain demon might happen upon her - while Alice is sitting around in the standard coach, slumped on a chair, her feet up on the table because screw etiquette, she's angry, and her facial expression looking like she's just about ready to kill something.

(Except more in that huffy teenager way. Maybe your daughter is hitting puberty, Crowley.)

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Crowley sputters in response to her ever-so-sly suggestion, and then tips his head to one side, his face contorting in a way that Alice will likely be able to read as him conceding. There's at least one more sigh after a long pause for drama, and then Crowley sits forward, hands laying flat atop his thighs.

"You know, back on that space station I had the passing thought that it might be more fun to try to out-scare whatever we were dealing with than confront it." he muses, frowning. "Kind of disappointed no one went for that idea. Anyway, doesn't matter now, only thing left to scare is the lot that turned me down."

He gives Alice a look, and then with a greatly exaggerated- almost aristocratic- accent, "Would this please you, fairest-one?" He's pretty sure he's heard someone called that in the types of movies with magical godparents, if that's any excuse.

~~Please, we all know it's just that Crowley can't pass up an opportunity for dramatics.~~

But Alice seems a little surprised by his idea - initially, anyway. She didn't quite think of that for amusement yet, but now the seed of this idea has been planted in her mind, she can kind of see it being funny.. Especially since some of the people here on the train are so loud. It can't hurt to give them a little scare in return.

So when the surprise on her face fades a little, the pouty expression disappears right along with it. Instead there's a twinkle of excitement in her eyes as she looks at the demon, making her look a lot more like her younger self from way before everything went to hell in a handbasket. Or perhaps the way she did back during that mission where they believed themselves to be a happy little family unit.

"Oh, it would indeed." The exitement is even audible in her tone. "I bet you know a lot of ways to scare a person, too."

Edited 2021-11-09 18:18 (UTC)

Slowly, Crowley's grin creeps across his entire face. He's certain that he's made the perfect suggestion even if it started as an idle thought. "Oh, yes.m," he confirms, nodding knowingly, his expression growing more devious by the second.

"First, we'll need to set the scene." he suggests, peering around the car behind dark glasses. This car would do, but there are a few individuals on board that would make it difficult... perhaps they should keep looking? He'll leave it up to Alice, it is her distraction, after all. "Which car would you prefer we haunt, my dear?"

"Where?" Alice perks up even more, each time in tiny increments.

She just can't help it. Something about this feels like it's her birthday, all of a sudden. It's been a long time since she's celebrated her birthday that way, certainly not ever since her age was in the double digits, but it's that same childish glee. It's the way it feels like the entire world opens up to you, like you get to pick absolutely anything you want.

"Well, I.. suppose there could be many different types of ghosts haunting this train." Even if a train might not be the perfect setting for a haunting. But then again, certain carriages. "How about something ghastly coming out of the water in the spa carriage?"

(She's pretty sure Crowley could make anything look scary in the first place. He is a demon, after all, even though she knows he's also a softie when it comes to specific things.)

Crowley's eyebrows raise in an enlightening way. "Ohh-- and messages written in the steam left behind..."

There's a thing about scary movies, they're based on real stories, or exaggerations of those stories. Crowley has turned up the spooky aspect of a party or three~~thousand~~ in his time.

"I think ghosts usually wear sheets, but maybe towels will do the trick."

Alice huffs.

"No ghost in a sheet has ever been truly scary."

Or perhaps it's just that she's biased - after all, she has seen so many truly horrifying things in the worst corners of her own mind that just the mild idea of a ghost won't do it for her.

.. though it definitely might have been enough to spook some people on the train, given how easily startled they are.

"You can think of something scarier than that, can't you?"

(Welcome to the world of picky teenage daughters, Crowley.)

Crowley gives her a skeptical look. "Alice," he says with the tone of a parent that thinks their child should know better, "The sheet is to lull you into a sense of safety. It's what's underneath it that is truly ghastly. It's all in the reveal."

He smirks then, because he's seen his share of horror movies. Especially the demon-possession ones, those are hilarious.

"The space station did get one thing right; true horror is in the unseen. The more we can frighten our guests without showing them what they're facing, the more frightened they will become."

That being said, Crowley thinks any form closer to his true one might be a damaging fright to anyone who sets their gaze upon him. If your brain can't comprehend what it's seeing, that is... well, he wouldn't have the heart to hurt anyone on board...

At least the girl does seem to consider his words. Sure, she thinks that part of his insistence on this may have to do with - what she perceives as - Crowley's flair for the dramatic, but on the other hand, she won't entirely discount his point.

Even though Alice was mostly just annoyed by those invisible monsters, she did see a lot of other people who seemed genuinely scared. There might be some merit in the idea.

"Alright, then, but.. does it really have to be a sheet? If you were to do it in the spa carriage, you could make it hide underwater instead. I think that would be far more frightening."

Granted, this might be a sentiment that's mostly being carried by her experience of swimming while there's monstrous fish around.

It always sucks.

Crowley shrugs, "It doesn't have to be anything. Jump scares are fine, but atmospheric dread can be just as terrifying."

He sits forward, squinting at her over his glasses, "What makes you think this is my first rodeo, Alice?" he asks, "But fine. It's your haunting. Under the water, it is."

"Well, it is not my first time seeing something scary either," she retorts.

At least it doesn't sound very aggressive. She isn't being combatitive here, not wanting to argue with him, but apparently they are both just invested in upholding their own pride here.. even if said pride is related to knowledge of what's scary, apparently.

The girl stands up after a moment though.

"Why don't we first go over there to see how it will look?" Alice says, her tone even moreso less sharp at this point, like she's trying to compromise. "I want to see what you can do either way."

Crowley waves his hand in some form of agreement and moves to stand. He'd argue that seeing something scary and being the scary thing for millennia are much different, but in the end he knows he's going to bend to Alice's will, so there isn't any point.

"Lead the way," he says with a sigh, extending an arm for her to move in front of him.

And so she does! Thankfully it's not too far to get over to the spa carriage, and once they arrive there, it seems to be mysteriously quiet in there...

Perhaps they happened to get lucky and show up there during a time when most people don't tend to use the carriage. Either way, there's no one in there aside from the two of them, and Alice takes the opportunity to kneel next to the water for a moment, staring at it.

"Looks like they cleared the way for us."

You know, to set up the scare before anyone actually sees says set-up and ruins the surprise of the scare.

Crowley inspects the interior of the car just in case, closing his eyes for a moment to focus on the room. She's right, there's no one here. That in and of itself feels unusual, given the amount of people on the train.

"Have a seat," he murmurs to her casually, beginning to walk around the pool of water to look it over. Above them, the lights flicker slightly, emitting an odd electrical sound. A few of them blink out entirely, making the car significantly dimmer. A moment later it starts to feel cold, and smoke rises from the heated pool. Crowley looks back to Alice from some feet away, snapping his fingers to drum up more fog. Already, with only a few changes, the carriage looks like something out of a horror film.

"Anything I'm missing?" he asks her, "You know, other than the obvious."

Meaning the sea creature. Crowley will have to play that part, he thinks.

Alice sits down by the edge of the water, but as their surroundings start to turn more and more into some traditional horror story, Alice actually starts looking more and more excited.

It's perhaps not the appropriate reaction.. but then again, she is not the one who's supposed to be scared here, so perhaps it doesn't matter a whole lot. She already thinks it's interesting and amusing enough that Crowley can do this in the first place.

How come everyone speaks so badly about demons when they can do fun stuff like this? When they indulge you in a whim, just because you happen to be feeling bummed out?

"No, this is great."

Alice doesn't throw around compliments easily, but perhaps it's that fact that makes this one sound remarkably sincere as she glances over at Crowley, starting to smile. It makes her seem younger than she actually is.

"Perhaps something with sound.. But I do suppose that would not be entirely realistic, now would it."

Sound... hm, that requires a little mote creativity. Some dripping noises to drone on in the background, the occasional splash that might come from something moving through a puddle... Crowley weaves in a symphony of subtle noises, the occasional unintelligible hushed whisper that chills up your spine and makes you think you aren't alone.

He gives Alice a look, as if to ask again, but this time Crowley squats beside the water, dipping his fingers into it as if testing the temperature. Alice as seen him transform before; a noise of cracking bones or infernal flame accompanying him as what was once legs becomes a very long coil of tail.

The moment the sound kicks in, Alice immediately seems to pay attention to it. Her head moves up, like a dog perking its ears because something has caught its attention. She sits there for a moment like that, unmoving, but that's got to mean that the soundscape has her approval. It's perfect, that chilling edge to it that is sort of dramatic, but not in a way that makes it overly obvious.

Crowley is apparently incredibly skilled at this sort of thing after all.

Indeed, the only thing that's capable of drawing Alice's attention away from said sound is Crowley himself. Since the girl looks over at him once he's next to the water, not even blinking as she witnesses him transforming.

If there's anything she's used to, it's this sort of thing. She's spent too much time both around Crowley and in Wonderland to be very much fazed by it.

"Are you going for some sort of sea serpent?" She asks, feeling that might be the most natural choice for him, given the whole snake thing.

"Do you have any other suggestions?" Crowley asks as he settles into his form, the long tail is black and red, the same colors as the snake she had first met him as, but with small fins along the length to help him move through the water. The small scales end around his true waist, only a few of them peppering his torso, but his flesh still looks reptilian and armored. He's retained his arms, but his hands have long. ashen claws at their ends. Crowley's face looks more demonic as well, with two sloped horns potruding his scalp, tangled with his hair. His eyes remain the same, as they always do.

His neck bends side-to-side, adjusting to the additional weight and stretching slightly, and then he drops into the water in a quick, fluid motion. The dimness of the train car obscures him from the surface as he glides beneath the water, getting used to this shape.

"No."

It's an easy answer. Alice doesn't even have to think about it, since she's already giving it as her answer while he's still busy transforming. It's the sort of monster-like appearance that suits this sort of atmosphere in the first place, but more than that, it's what she figured Crowley is most likely most comfortable with.

So there's certainly no complaints on her side as she watches him fall into the water. Alice just still sits at the waterside, staring.

"How is it?" She instead asks, figuring that the demon most likely doesn't use the spa in his snake form all the time - though he's in a slightly different snake form this time around, more monstrous on purpose. So hey, he might as well enjoy the warm water on top of all of this.

"It's alright. Not my favorite form, anyway... might have a bit of trouble forming legs again." he muses. swimming about to get the feel for his tail. He's often worried he'll forget how to change back, likely because he'd worked so hard to get his human form in the first place... the paperwork alone, but the hoops he'd slithered through to get a bespoke model! So much effort to have wasted.

"Why don't you come for a swim?" he asks mildly. You know, while she's here, she might as well. And there isn't anyone to scare right now, anyway. But perhaps any passers-by would be more comfortable getting in the water if they saw Alice enjoying herself.

It's a double-stun here, really.

At first she's surprised by that remark on Crowley's end. Is it possible for him to have difficulty changing back into a human form? She wasn't aware of that at all - to her it always seemed like he transformed with such ease. But then again, she has always only been seeing what's on the outside, rather than what he's actually thinking.

Perhaps it's something to bring up later though, or another time, because right after she's instead caught off guard by his question.

"Me?"

It's not like Alice can't swim. Or that she dislikes water. It's just..

Something about her seems to fluster a little, and she glances over her shoulder, like she's suddenly paranoid.

"Do you think people would find it odd if I went into the water with my clothes on?"

Look, she knows that there's swimwear and towels provided that people usually use - but even that is a wild, wild concept to a Victorian girl like her. Let alone one that's as conscious of her body and the way it looks as Alice.

"No more odd, I think, than the fsct that you're swimming alone in a very dark and dank spa room with what seems to be a monster." he mutters, waving a claw, then flops onto his back to float atop the water. His tail, much longer than his torso, drags beneath the surface under him.

"I could always miracle you some swimwear, if that'd help." he thinks out loud, head turning to the side to face her. There's that regular fatherly concern present, somehow, under the grotesque and demonic details.

Edited 2021-12-21 22:58 (UTC)

"Ah.."

Of course it's only to Alice Liddell - of all people - that the idea of wearing swimwear seems so much more odd than swimming in water with a monster. It's a belief that would have persisted even if this particular monster wasn't Crowley of all people.

And it's not that she doesn't trust him. If Alice were to ever fall off something particularly high, she would almost instinctively trust the demon to be there to catch her, even if he was nowhere near her at the time. Crowley truly is at the very top of the list of people Alice trusts, and yet.. the idea of baring even an inch of skin in front of him still feels wrong. Shame is drifting off Alice in waves, so much so that there's absolutely no way their emotional connection wouldn't pick up on it. Shame over her scarred, broken body.

"No, it is fine," she says, though it's almost closer to a mumble with the embarrassment in it. "I can just swim like this."

It's not like she hasn't been swimming all over the place in Wonderland while wearing her full outfit, after all. Alice is already starting to move to take off her shoes and socks.

There are plenty of styles of swimwear to choose from, some that wouldn't require baring skin at all. Crowley can sense her discomfort, but not necessarily the reasoning behind it. Shame is an odd feeling... and one Crowley is somewhat familiar with. His head tilts as he looks at her now, then he swims to the side of the pool she sits at and looks at her curiously over the edge.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" he asks bluntly, his expression rather soft considering the more demonic appearance, "You do know that you can't hide what you're feeling from me."

Alice breathes out through her nose, and then looks over at Crowley.

"I do know," she slowly repeats. She knows that he can feel her emotions, just like how she sometimes gets a sudden burst of emotions from him. And it means that she knows exactly what the demon must be feeling right now.

He's kind enough to give her the option to explain or not, but it's exactly because of that kindness being extended to her here that Alice feels she should push on a little. Talk about it, even though she's uncomfortable. The latter fact shows in the way she fidgets a little while sitting there. Her only solace is that she trusts Crowley, and that for some reason it always feels even easier to talk to him when he isn't taking on a human-like appearance.

"My body just.." She pauses, but then forces herself to continue. "It is.. disfigured."

The burns. The scars. All the marks left behind from the worst years of her life.

"It does not feel comfortable unless I hide it under this." She puts her hand on her chest, most likely implying her Wonderland dress that she's wearing at the moment. Even if she would use a more Victorian-appropriate bathing suit that would actually cover her, it would feel in her head like it would cover so much less.

There's a reason she even sleeps wearing the train hoodies rather than putting on something a little less wide or big, after all.

Crowley doesn't respond right away. Instead, he just listens, letting Alice explain herself at her own pace. When she's finished he takes a deep breath, and it's clear that he's thinking, taking a moment to determine what the best way to respond would be.

"I did not know." he says quietly, "I'm sorry, Alice." But that isn't quite all he wants to say. He could offer to fix her, but that would imply that she is broken, and he sees her as anything but. He could offer her more clothing or coverings, but that could perpetuate her shame. Crowley isn't human, and given how he looks in the moment it may be obvious that he's seen all sorts, that his true form may be even more horrifying than the one he's showing her now. But he also presents human, in a body that is well tailored, which implies that he very much does understand human standards of beauty. The best he can do is be delicate.

"You should know that there is nothing about you, whether I've seen it with my own eyes or not, that I wouldn't accept." he says quietly, "You don't have to show me anything that you are too uncomfortable to do so, but understand that I would do anything you asked of me to make you more comfortable in your own skin."

He offers her a clawed hand, if only for comfort and nothing else.

It's appreciated, the way he just patiently listens like that. The way he replies so kindly. But at the same time.. It's not surprising, is it? When it's coming from Crowley of all people. Alice likes to think that most people on the train who have been kind to her are just genuinely kind, but there's always that little bit of doubt in the back of her mind.

But that doubt can't exist with Crowley. After all, she can feel what he feels. If he ever did feel disdain or any other negative emotion for her, she'd feel it.

.. but she never has. All she's ever felt is the affection coming from him, especially at a moment like this. Alice thickly swallows, and as she feels her eyes growing a little watery - and not just from the hazy atmosphere they created here for the spookiness - she grabs onto the hand, but then leans forward to rest her forehead against the back of the hand.

"Thank you," she more whispers than actually says, her voice slightly shakey. "It is not because of you. I.. trust you more than anyone, Crowley."

Especially after all they've been through. After how long they've had this weird bond. Maybe it's not long in a demon's lifespan, but in Alice's short lifespan, when she's spent half of her living years completely out of it - just spending more than half a year like this is a long time.

"It is just.. even though I have been out of the asylum for so long now, I still find it difficult to get over certain things." Like her body, and the way they mangled it up back there without a single care.

There are not many creatures that extend their trust to Crowley. Aziraphale, yes, but not always, and not openly until recent years. Alice is the first human he's ever met that didn't immediately distrust him... and he was a snake at the time. A snake that at least 3 other children on board the Voidtrecker Express had already pulled knives on and threatened with harm to not hurt anyone, and he had been napping at the time. Crowley never forgot that about her, and he'd found even more affection for her as they grew closer, even though the train sort of forced them to.

"Oh, Alice," he murmurs back, his voice filled with emotion, all of which he's feeling now; hers and his own, which is both full of sympathy for her and complete admiration for this human child he's somehow formed a paternal bond with.

"You're not meant to 'get over' things, I think." he says delicately. "I haven't." And that much is true, he had been expelled from heaven millions of years prior but it hadn't stopped him from holding a grudge, from wondering why God gave up on him, abandoned him maybe. What was it about him that deserved such a punishment, that made him unworthy of love? Even now, though he's found that love in Aziraphale, in the world he's saved and the friends he's made since leaving it, he hasn't gotten over any of that, he just copes differently.

He climbs higher out of the water to be there for her, his claws tipping her face back to look at him. "You didn't deserve what had happened to you, but we can't change the past. We can, however, reclaim our autonomy and reinvent ourselves. We can be whoever we choose to be, even if that means someone strong enough to go swimming and not ruin their nice dress." he says this from experience. Crowley has not always been Crowley. He had been Crawley first, and someone entirely different before that. He had been Ashtoreth, Harrison, and Anthony when he needed to be, when it made sense. He sees no reason why Alice couldn't do the same, even without magic... but he also would never push her into anything she would be made uncomfortable by, so after a beat, he clarifies: "But you don't have to be anything you don't want to be, so I can always miracle it dry, later, alright?"

She stares at him when he tilts her head up to look at him. And though she quietly listens, it's hard to not feel the flood of emotions - especially when they're doubled up like this. The flood of emotions that he is emitting, pouring straight into her soul, and then the natural emotions that wake up in Alice at hearing Crowley tell her all of that.

It's like the emotions keep going back and forth, accelerating each other, growing stronger and stronger until they threaten to choke Alice. This would already have been overwhelming without their emotional bond, but with it? It's like she's drowning.

Not necessarily in a bad way. Maybe it would have been a bad thing in front of other people, like most people she doesn't want to show emotion or vulnerability in front of, but with Crowley? He's already seen her at her worse moments, hasn't he? So maybe it isn't so bad that the emotion is so strong that she can't hide it right now.

Alice stares for another moment, even once he's done talking for the moment. Then she escapes those hands on her face - though it's solely because she's moving forward, her arms wrapping around his monstrous form, clinging desperately to his body once she's managed to embrace it. Of course the wet scales pushing against her will get her dress anyway, but it's just like Crowley said - he could just miracle them dry.

And even if he couldn't, this would have been too important to worry about something as silly as a wet dress.

"Crowley.." The name is said shakily, an omen of what's about to come, and Alice already knows that she's about to cry moments before she can feel the hot tears running down her face. Her only saving grace in this moment is that she's clinging to him so tightly that it's hard to see her tears, despite them being audible in her voice.

It's just so much. It's too much. After spending almost all her life being looked down on by people, having people turn their backs on her.. How does she deal with someone being this unconditionally supportive of her?

Someone who truly acts like her family. Who makes her feel the way her family did, so long ago, before everything went to absolute hell in a handbasket.

".. If I have had even a single blessing in my life, it is that I got to meet you, even after all this."

Crowley's arms wrap around her before he even knows it, the swell in their bond causing him to feel every change in emotion she is going through, no matter how minute. He holds her tight, a clawed hand raising to gently stroke at her hair. "There, there..." he coos softly, his other arm still squeezing her tight. "You're alright... it's alright."

He flinches only slightly at what she says next, softly chuckling it off in response. "I'm no one's blessing." he replies gently, somewhat amused, "But if I had to be someone's, then I'm glad it's yours."

He doesn't let go, not until she's ready to. He'll hold her as long as it takes for her to work out her tears, to calm her nerves.

It takes a little while.

Though it doesn't take as long as it might have had if these emotions came over her while she was all by herself. Just the fact that Crowley is right here with her, holding her, makes it all bearable. It renders Alice able to get over it, even if it does take a few moments before she finally pulls back, rubbing at her face with a hand in order to look a little more presentable again.

(It doesn't do much.)

".. I truly derailed our intentions here, didn't I?"

Crowley feels everything. All of Alice's hurt and pain flow through him too, and there was a time where he wouldn't have taken it well. These days, he's learned how to file hers away and not feel them too strongly, but it still hurts him to know she feels it. He'll hold her as long as it takes.

When Alice finally breaks away, Crowley's hands fall to her biceps, still holding her carefully despite them being apart, ensuring she's stable.

"Oh, I dunno, I think a sobbing girl adds to the atmosphere quite well." he teases, hoping a little humor helps her bounce back.

".."

Though Alice is still quiet, she lets out a faint breath. It's still weak, but there's something vaguely amused about it, and it helps some of the heavy feeling that's clinging to her start to clear.

It'll truly never fully go away, but.. for the moment, it feels a little lighter again. All thanks to him.

"For that remark, you have to dry me up again after this."

Because after this entire thing, Alice is determined to get in a soak in the water as well. She just allows herself to move into the water, dress and all.

For now she is more than content enough to just spend a few moments here with Crowley like this.

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(closed) it's a common thing to be out of line

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sorry im the worst

shhh i love you

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