THE FIGHT - Locked

[nobodys_puppet]

Who: Xion and Lea
Where: Their cabin
When: Orchestra 18 - a while after the message from Anan
What: Xion and Lea have been heading for an argument for a while. The time has come.
Warnings: KH, angst, probably talk about past abuse though probably without the word. drama. Typing in all caps may happen. You have been warned.



Another day of wandering the train, taking notes on the different cars, because Axel wanted her to. Xion was thinking about some of the stuff Vexen said the other day also. She needed to order bowls from the train. And about notes to Roxas. She wasn't sure what to write, though. She had been heading back to the cabin to think some more about it, away from people, when she saw....

The fridge was gone. Her cold box full of ice cream for Roxas was gone. Her eyes went huge under her hood. Why was it gone?!

"The... the train took Roxas' ice cream?" she asked, in a voice she hardly recognized as her own. It was oddly thick but at the same time... pained. Why would the train take Roxas' ice cream away? Because of the bowls?!

Comments

[hotheadwarmheart]

Lea had been bent down putting some food into the little bowl in Smoke's cage, which now sat where the mini-freezer had been. He heard Xion enter, but didn't look up til she spoke. After quickly closing the cage and leaving Smoke to his meal, Lea stood back up, setting the little bag of mixed nuts and seeds on his bunk for now.

"The train didn't do anything," Lea said with a bit of an exasperated sigh. "I took the freezer out because it was taking up too much space in the room, and because Vexen told me that you were hoarding half the train's bowls in there again full of extra ice cream; which took forever to properly clean out, by the way. Those aren't just for ice cream, you know; other people need them for stuff too."

[nobodys_puppet]

"I told Vexen I'll use points to buy more bowls! So it's okay. So we can get the freezer and Roxas' ice cream back...." They had to. HAD TO.

[hotheadwarmheart]

"We can't get the ice cream back," Lea said. "There was so much jammed in there that much more would have started gumming up the parts that made the freezer work, so I had to clean it all out. Most of the ice cream had to be thrown away and the rest washed off the inside of the freezer. It's gone. And the freezer will be staying gone too, to keep it from happening again."

"Besides, I don't even know why you were saving all that. Even if Roxas does show up here again, you really think he could've eaten that much ice cream? And we can make ice cream bars on demand now anyway, which makes saving it even more unnecessary."

[nobodys_puppet]

She stumbled back, shaking her head, tears falling down her face. "I have to save the ice cream for Roxas... you can't just... I..." she bought that with her own points. For Roxas. He was Roxas' best friend too! Why didn't he understand? They NEEDED that freezer...

She was shaking badly and part of her - a large part - wanted to just run away. Run from car to car until she found the freezer again. and then hide with it somewhere...

But where could she even hide on the train?

[hotheadwarmheart]

"Why do you need to save it?", Lea asked, exasperated. Part of him wanted to reach out and comfort her, wipe away those tears. But the rest of him? The rest of him was very short on patience lately and not in the mood to be particularly comforting. And that part of him was emboldened by the fact that Xion was actually talking back for once. "Why do you need to stuff a whole freezer full of ice cream when you know as well as I do that Roxas wouldn't be able to eat it all? When we could very easily just make him an ice cream bar on the day if we needed to? Why is it so important to hoard all that ice cream, huh?"

[nobodys_puppet]

"So... So that he knows we didn't forget him! Or replace him!" she said, shaking badly. She wanted to run. Wanted to find the freezer. "I can't get him shells here...." More tears fell and she was shaking badly.

[hotheadwarmheart]

"If that was the point you could have just saved him one ice cream and kept it handy," Lea said. "Or, you know, you could just tell him you didn't forget him if he turns up. Not that he wouldn't figure it out anyway when we went to meet him and welcomed him back, since Roxas actually has some common sense."

[nobodys_puppet]

Pain flared in her chest. She didn't... she... she didn't know why it hurt but it hurt. Why didn't he understand? He always understood.

She needed...

She turned for the door. She needed to get away, to escape. To run. To find the freezer. To...

To find Roxas.

Even if it was impossible. She had to try. why wasn't she trying...?

[hotheadwarmheart]

Lea caught her shoulder, sensing she was about to run off. As usual. But she wasn't going to escape from this one so easily. Now that he was finally able to give voice to his frustrations, he wasn't nearly done. "Oh no, you're not running off this time," he said. "Not til you actually explain to me why you needed to stuff the freezer full of bowls of ice cream that Roxas wouldn't eat. I can't freaking understand why you do stuff like that. Leaving shells and stuff on the bed when you or he was asleep is one thing; that's something you can keep. But no matter what happened we wouldn't have been able to keep all that ice cream. So why?"

"You just... you say and do stuff all the time and just expect me to understand the thought process that got you there, but a lot of it doesn't make any sense to me. You never explain any of it! You clam up and get upset instead of just telling me what's going on in your head, and then I have to try and guess and even the simplest conversations end up taking forever."

[nobodys_puppet]

She hunched in on herself as he yelled at her. The tears wouldn't stop and her chest hurt and she just...

Just...

She screamed in frustration. She hadn't meant to. She tried to pull away, jamming her back into the door. She hardly noticed.

"HE NEEDS THE BOWLS!" she found herself yelling. Even as she wanted to claw the words back. "It's the only thing I can do for him!"

[hotheadwarmheart]

Lea wasn't yelling, really. Not yet. Not by his own definition of such at least. But the volume of his voice had been creeping up as more and more frustration bubbled to the surface. And as much as part of him knew he would feel terrible for upsetting Xion later, it was firmly silenced by the part of him that relished the confrontation. Finally, finally they might be able to deal with some of this directly.

"No he doesn't!", he said. OK, that might have been a yell. He made the effort to tone it down just slightly, if only because the room was so small. "People here need the bowls. People who'll actually use them, not hoard them."

"For Light's sake, you just... You don't think before you do stuff like this! But when doing stuff would actually be helpful, it's the total opposite. Most of the time all you do is think. You just sit around and worry everything to death and don't actually try to do anything about it; no, you just wait around for someone else to tell you what to do or do it for you, usually me."

"You don't want to go out and try anything or learn anything for yourself. Instead you just use me as a human encyclopedia and expect me to have all the answers to everything. Even on missions! You don't pay attention to the briefing or what's going on around you half the time because you're so busy waiting for me to give you directions. You realize how dangerous that could be, right? For both of us?"

[nobodys_puppet]

"He does," she whispered, shaking terribly. "I do think! I think all the time about..." About Roxas. Axel. What she can do to actually be useful.

She tried to pull away from him, shaking so hard one might half expect bits of her to go flying off. "I do try to learn things," she whispered. "I do..." Was something even worse wrong with her than she thought? Was she supposed to be able to learn faster? How much would a Somebody her age be learning> How much catching up did she have to do to learn that much?

But the end of what he said...

Her head snapped up. "I....I'm putting you in danger..." she repeated. Something could happen to Axel... because of her? She could... she was hurting Axel by being here? Her knees went weak under her and she tried again to pull away.

She had to leave she had to go somewhere... somewhere.. somewhere she couldn't put him in danger anymore...

[hotheadwarmheart]

He should stop. He really should. But 'should' had never played much of a role when his temper came out like this. At this point he felt as though he was holding her as much to keep her on her feet as to keep her from escaping, given how badly she was shaking, but he wasn't quite done yet.

"Why does Roxas need half the bowls on the train?", Lea said. "Seriously, tell me. What will hoarding bowls of ice cream for him accomplish? He wouldn't even be able to eat it the way it was; it was just a big sticky mess."

"And yeah, you could be putting me, yourself, and others in danger by not paying attention on missions and expecting me to do it for both of us. And you've gotta stop putting me on a pedestal in general. I'm not this amazing, perfect person you think I am! I'm not someone who can do basically anything with no effort! I'm good at some things, but that's because I've worked hard to get good at them. I know some things, but that's because I've learned them either by being taught or by experience. This all powerful, all knowing guy you seem to think I am? That's not me. Never was, never will be."

[longforgottenpromise]

He is very used to Xion's fluctuating emotions, something he's gotten used to in the more than half a year they have shared this weird bond together. But this is something sharper. Panic, upset, fear.

His feet are moving before he even thinks about it, arriving at her door- managing to miss Lea leaving. He knocked softly.

"Xion?"

[nobodys_puppet]

She mumbled something into her knees, it may have been telling him he could come in. She was just... too miserable to move.

[longforgottenpromise]

"Xion?" He called again. "I can't open your cabin. Can you let me in?"

He's worried though, he had only half heard her. But was she sick? Was she injured?

Just so you know, I rolled a die to see what she would do >.<

[nobodys_puppet]

She couldn't bring herself to get up. She flung a hand out, creating a dark corridor for him between the hall where he was and her room.

Because that was easier than getting off her bunk to open the door, and she didn't have the emotional strength to want to try to call in her Keyblade to unlock it. Also... the door was too far to reach from where she was on the bunk, but probably too close for her extended arm and Keyblade...

[longforgottenpromise]

He is used to her dark corridors by now, though they felt strange, uncomfortable and he was glad he was wearing his coat as he moved through it.

As bad as it felt the fact she had opened one rather than the door might mean she couldn't move. He had to get to her, to help.

"Xion?"

[nobodys_puppet]

She didn't look up hearing her name, she just hugged her knees tighter, still so hurt and confused and just... just... She had no words for what was going through her head now, or how it hurt. She was confused and upset and hurt and....

A shudder ran through her.

[longforgottenpromise]

"Xion." He repeated himself, stepping closer but being cautious, gently. "It's Taiki... Um... Can you hear me?"

She's upset and hurt, but he can't see any clues as to why that might be.

[nobodys_puppet]

She gave a small nod without lifting her face enough to see him. The dark corridor vanished now that he was fully through. Her shoulders shook with every sob as she cried into her sleeves.

[longforgottenpromise]

"Xion..." He got closer, kneeling down and reaching out, to touch her shoulders gently, bringing his face close to hers.

"What happened?"

[nobodys_puppet]

She sobbed again. "The bowls are gone and I can't count anymore and he left and I don't want to forget," she sobbed into her knees, the words all coming out in a rush; but so quiet that had he been any further away he wouldn't have heard her.

[longforgottenpromise]

"Xion... Please slow down." He has no idea what she just said. Bowls? Counting? Forgetting...

He at least knows what the last one means to her.

"Xion what are you afraid of forgetting?"

[nobodys_puppet]

She sniffed and looked up the slightest bit. "You. The train. Diatu. Everything..." she whispered.