Don't Look, it's These Two Being Cute

[runs_on_batteries]

Who: Tony and Ignis
What: Hanging out with the Boyfriend™
Where: Somewhere on a weird-ass train
When: Day 30 of Catfish, early afternoon
CW: Um... no? Nothing? Tony being Tony? Except maybe I'll warn if they start making out? Crazier things have happened.

He's been enjoying having his computer back, particularly having music again and a never-ending supply of document space. Just about all of the paperwork he'd gathered of the last few months had been converted to digital forms. Those files had then been backed up to F.R.I.D.A.Y. and his world made sense again. Well, to a degree.

Anyway, as he was blaring Eye of the Tiger in his not-so-quiet room (thanks to Peter breaking his door), he realized what else he now had at his finger tips. Leaving the room and trying not to roll his eyes at the makeshift door as he passed through, he went in search of Ignis.

Comments

[faithfulsupport]

"That's not very graceful darling." Ignis observed playfully as Tony bumped onto the bunk bed. The song was a nice one and he smirked. "Only you would have such a name for it." He didn't finish the thought until they were done.

"One wonders who hurt you so badly that you hide and change the subject when things get too close for your comfort." There was a light tone that had been used, as there was no way that he was expecting an answer and he moved away slowly to give Tony breathing room.

[runs_on_batteries]

"Careful I'll pick you up like a sack of potatoes and take you into the gym!" He joked before leaning in and stealing a quick kiss.

He kept Ignis in his arms even after the song ended, ready to let the music flip to whatever the next song in the playlist was and keep dancing for as long as his lover wanted. Although he frowned at the remark. "Was I doing that now? And are you asking or you just commenting?" There was a little hurt on his face, but it wasn't something Ignis had done. It was an old hurt that dated by as old as the 'knight' was.

[faithfulsupport]

"You wouldn't dare Ignis playfully snarled. There was no way he'd ever regain his dignity if he did.

He'd been wanting a slow dance personally, but only one song would do, so maybe it was right that it wasn't there. Besides, he doubted their worlds' music was the same. He turned and nodded. "Yes, and I'm simply commenting."

The advisor had been about to just sit when he saw that hurt look. With that look in mind, he lowered his head. "I'm sorry..next time I'll keep my thoughts to myself."

[runs_on_batteries]

Tony laughed, filing the idea away for something to do to Ignis at the opportune time.

There were quite a few slow songs on this playlist, the next one was. However, it seemed the mood in the room had changed and he looked down. However, his gaze went right back up to Ignis' face when the man apologized and said that.

"You'd better not! And what's wrong with you asking? Who hurt you to make you feel like you couldn't ever get to know someone? You know asking those tough questions are how people bond." He was pretty sure at least. He wasn't an expert in this area, but he'd learned a lot from people by asking things that poked at their core. "And I would try to answer any question you had about me if you were interested enough to ask."

[faithfulsupport]

Green eyes blinked owlishly at Tony as he went on. Who hurt him? "I've been raised not to speak anything but respectfully to those higher ranked than myself." The fact that he overrode Noctis at times went completely unmentioned. "And I follow orders."

There Tony went again about bonding, which made Ignis wonder if he had it all wrong. Didn't they bond over dinners and talking and spending time together? "I'm not interested in asking if I see a hurt look on your face." Ignis shook his head and walked towards Tony, keeping his voice even. "You've endured more than enough hurt, betrayal and sadness to last at least another full lifetime. My job isn't to hurt you, it's to help you."

His head shook. "And there is no one on this train that I care more about than you. That necklace you wear is proof of that bond."

[runs_on_batteries]

Well yes, they were bonded. He meant other people. Okay so maybe that hadn't been the best point, but Ignis had thrown him off guard. And he hated that this description Ignis now gave him was how this lovely man had been forced to live before coming here. It made him want to blow up the whole planet the man was from.. except for the obvious flaws with that idea.

His hand went to the charm when Ignis pointed it out instinctively. The words were powerful and he knew his boyfriend's words were from his heart. It was a beautiful heart at that, worth so much more than how he'd been raised to treat it. He took a moment to think (for once) before responding right away. This was important and he didn't want to screw it up like he usually did. "Sometimes I'd rather you ask and let you learn about those things in my life than not feel like you're allowed to speak your mind. I know you, darling. You are sweet and kind and you never would act in a way to harm me. I trust you and I love you. Some of those things I've endured were life changing and big chunks of why I am the way I am. I want to share those with you but I might not always know how. I think bond wasn't the right word to use there as you and I are obviously bonded. You know, I'm not the best with words."

He took a breath and met Ignis' gaze. "My father never wanted anything to do with me. He was a man who only cared about his work. There wasn't any talking about our emotions or affection at my house growing up before I was sent away to boarding school. He did some wonderful, brilliant things for the world, but was mostly absent from mine. I learned only recently that he did actually care about me, but it was far, far too late to make that much of a difference. It's why it means so much to me to be a good dad to.." He was about to say Morgan, but realized whether he'd succeeded or failed, it was in the past. That realization brought not just a little pain that he'd experienced at the mention of his father, but a tsunami level wave of pain. With a few tears in his eyes, he took a shaky breath. "I hope I was better to her even if.. only in memory."

[faithfulsupport]

Ignis wasn't complaining about the way he was raised, it was just to illustrate the difference in how they approached things. But his eyes carefully watched as Tony grasped the skull pendant. And the fact that there was silence bothered him because his lover wasn't a silent person. However, he waited patiently and remained quiet himself out of respect.

He smiled somewhat sadly to hear Tony said that he knew Ignis would never intentionally hurt him. It was true but somehow it had a heartwrenching quality to the admission. But it did give hi man idea. "I suppose we can always pick one thing a week or every few days to share, kind of like sharing secrets if you will. We can find time alone after dinner and pick something to talk over." Ignis was trying to negotiate here and didn't want to do this every day because that would be overkill. So maybe every few days or once a week and it would be something to share of their own choosing so nothing was forced, but it would sort of be on their own terms.

There was a soft but gentle smile. "We didn't talk of those things either, so I'm not the best at expressing them myself. I was mainly raised by Noct's father, King Regis after coming back from a school for gifted children. The king was the only father I knew, my own was always at work though I had an uncle that worked at the Citadel." And then he heard the unspoken name and Ignis gently enfolded his lover in his arms, holding on. "I'm sure you did wonderfully. I see you with the children here, and they love you."

[runs_on_batteries]

Tony considered Ignis' compromise and nodded, his lips curling a bit into a grin. "That would work for me. We don't need more than that, but we need to be able to do it sometimes. I want to know you- all of you. Not just the good and obviously not just the bad. We've been molded by our experiences and they're important." He was grateful Ignis was willing to do this with him even if it wasn't comfortable.

His knees buckled a little as Ignis held him. He hated to show emotion, especially like this, but a sob broke through. He missed his daughter and he missed his wife. No matter what had changed here, he would always miss them. With no place to run or hide, vulnerable in Ignis' arms, he cried.

[faithfulsupport]

Their exchange would certainly cut them both open and leave them bleeding. But it was the only way they were going to break through the formidable barriers they'd both erected in their own ways.

They both had a hard time exposing raw emotions and those barriers would at least need to bend in order to show the other their vulnerability.

And speaking of that, Ignis could feel his heart breaking for his lover right now. There was nothing he could think to say to offer comfort. So he tightened his grip and held on. Tony needed him and Ignis was right there.

The advisor lifted a hand to touch his knight's dark hair, trying to be soothing and comforting in ways that would get through. And he'd never do it, but if anyone ever asked him why he loved Tony, it was moments of unspeakable and unbreakable trust like this.

Stark had a beautiful huge heart and Ignis felt so privileged and honoured to be able to see it. This hot mess of a man crying and vulnerable beyond words securely wrapped up in his arms was nothing short of breathtakingly beautiful.

And the advisor loved him with a ferocity he hadn't known he was capable of. Tiger was a very fitting nickname after all.

[runs_on_batteries]

He tried so hard to keep that from his mind. He compartmentalized his life so fiercely and fought to keep himself busy enough to not have time to stray out of the carefully constructed world he'd built in his mind. However, at times like now the memories and what he'd lost struck him with such force, it felt like all those pieces shattered and ripped him to shreds.

Somehow he'd found in this very unlikely place someone who would be there every time he fell. He knew he didn't deserve it, but he was so grateful for Ignis and the love they shared.