voidtreckerexpress | February Catch-All Log

Entry tags:

February Catch-All Log

Who: Tony + varies
What: Varies
Where: On the train somewhere
When: Second half of Domino (19th forward)
Warnings: Tony being rude, language

[In the Gym: Open]

Even though Tony has cut back on his busy schedule, he still is sparring some and doing yoga often. It's not the relentless every single day at precisely certain times. The yoga, he attempts to do by himself now but given the number of people on board, that's pretty impossible.

(So come bug him while he's doing the warrior pose or using a practice sword!)

[Science lesson in standard car!: Open]

Since a little before the new arrivals, Tony has had several classes each week on both science and math topics. He's juggling a variety of skill levels, but Peter is his helper in most classes to go help anyone who needs it. Today, Tony decides to have a demonstration of suspending an egg between water and vinegar and breathing fire. He uses some charcoal for chalk and uses the front wall of the standard car as his chalkboard. When the demonstrations are over, he assigns some worksheets for practice. However, he also provides cookies.

(Bug him afterward about the demonstrations, cookies, whatever)

[19: Evening, Happy Birthday Ignis! (Invitation to ALL BLUE team plus- Reigen, Raven, and anyone close to Ignis (you know who you are and I can't think atm)]

Ignis had thought he was planning a dinner party with just Madoka and Tony. Of course, he didn't think Tony had remembered his birthday and he's the King of Extra, clearly this meant they should throw a surprise party. (Yes, another one). He didn't know what cake to make for a chef like Ignis, so he went with what Mady liked best, since that would most likely make his partner just as or even more pleased. So they had white icing with sprinkles and pink, strawberry, triple layered cake.

Tony had some of the kids help make party hats and confetti and got everyone who was attending into the dining car while he went to get the unaware birthday boy in the kitchen.

[A compromise, Day 20: Bucky, Ignis, Tony and Yuffie.]

Tony was a little skeptical of this approach, but he was willing to give it a try. He had a small bundle wrapped in paper in one hand when he arrived at the quiet car to await the teenager. He looked at the other two men with a sigh.

"Do we really have to do this?" He whined at Ignis, knowing full well what the answer would be.

[OTA: Just make up something and start it. I'm game!]

[P.S. For those observant types, Tony's hand is now missing the wedding ring he has had since coming here.]

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He'd been thinking about this for about a week now and finally had mustered the nerve. He knew his request had come off.. odd, but he wasn't taking what he was going to ask lightly. He'd offered this three times and only once had it been accepted. One had ended in hurt feelings and suspicion and the other had been declined extremely politely. So, basically he had no idea what he was in for with Joss.

About the time Joss was knocking on the door, Tony came through the door to the carriage a few feet away carrying two mugs of coffee and a handkerchief that looked like it had something wrapped inside it. His eyebrows rose in surprise upon seeing the kid. "Ah, damn. You beat me here. Mind getting the door?"

Wordlessly, and looking somewhat mystified, Joscelin opens the door to let Tony into his own workshop.

"I hope one of those is for me?" he says, nodding at the mugs. Sleeping has become an issue again after being trapped in those nightmares, and Joss has been drinking his small weight in caffeine lately. He settles down in his usual spot and watches Tony through his long bangs (he really needs a haircut).

"What can I do for you, old man?"

"No I plan to drink both of these and leave you nothing," Tony teased. He set down the bundle first and then handed over one of the mugs. "I couldn't remember if you took anything in your coffee so I added some sugar just in case." These kids and their sweet-tooth addictions.. He then unwrapped the bundle to reveal some homemade donuts. Pushing the cloth closer to Joss, he finally took his seat.

He smirked. "Must I have a reason to see my favorite vampire?" He asked. It was a great cover up while he got his nerves in order. "How've you been lately? You haven't been avoiding me have you?"

If he didn't know better, he'd say everyone had had those awful nightmares Reigen had told him about.

It had been because of the nightmares. Joscelin’s a good actor but even he can’t disguise the momentary expression on his face, or the way he won’t quite meet Tony’s eyes. So he says nothing and takes a big bite out of the donut to occupy himself.

He washes it down with some coffee and peers back over at Tony.

“And yet I have the odd sense that you’re about to ask me for something.”

Tony's humor faded as Joss doesn't answer him on how he's been or if Tony's being avoided. Oh. Well, that sucks. This might not go as well as he'd hoped then. It was a little late to worry about that now though.

"I'm not sure if that's perceptive or paranoia," he remarked, attempting to hold on to that lighter tone. It wasn't working. He gave up the pretense and asked more directly, "Are you alright?"

Tony is one of the few people on the train to have meticulously worked his way through the many, many layers of Joss’s bullshit, so after a moment the boy shakes his head. “I can’t sleep,” he admits, taking another long pull of the coffee. “Not since the nightmares or whatever it was a few days ago. But it’s not as if vampires actually need to sleep, in a technical sense...”

He trails off, and then adds:

“Paris, 1553. Mother and I killed nearly one hundred people in a fifteen minute span, between the two of us. I was stuck there, again, in my dream. With her controlling me. Not a pleasant memory, to be certain.”

His frown deepened to sympathetic as he heard what the kid was going through. He wasn't sure what to say to that. He knew how badly this must be weighing on Joss' shoulders. He might not have been able to feel his heart back then, but Tony knew he had a good one now.

"Those memories are bad, but they're not who you are. They don't define you or have any relevance over where you're going now. And even if they did, you're making up for it now. Think of all the people you've been helping since you came here."

“I loved her. Worshipped her. And I hated her with equal measure.” He smiles ironically. “It was an exhausting relationship. Mother and child? Not really. Captor and captive, more like, with a healthy dose of Stockholm Syndrome thrown in. It wasn’t a real family.”

Joscelin sighs. “I must be getting nostalgic in my old age. How did you fare against the nightmares, Stark?”

"No, it's not," he agreed, surprised at the remarkable segue too. It was also odd how similar that sounded like his own relationship with his father to a much lesser degree. He'd worshiped the man and eventually hated him. It had been so healing to forgive him, even if it came so let in his life.

Anyway, this wasn't about him but about the boy. And Joss could say whatever he wanted about his age, Tony could still see the 'boy' the vampire was even now. "Mine were not nearly as eventful as everyone else's. I remember falling and waking up with a start, but either I didn't dream or I don't remember them. It's.. very unnerving how many others suffered form it though."

He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. "Actually, family is something I wanted to talk to you about. I want to be clear first that you're under no obligation here and if you say no, it won't change anything. Okay?" He hoped it wouldn't at least. "But um.. Ignis and I have adopted Madoka. Together. She's been needing family here just as much as we have and I wouldn't have made it official, but it was important to Ignis." And after he'd gotten used to the idea, he'd realized he'd wanted it too. "But um.. I care about you just as much as I care about her. So.. if you'd be interested, I'd like to extend that same invitation to you."

Whatever Joscelin had been expecting, it isn’t that.

He’s quiet for several long moments, too surprised to speak. How does one respond to something like this?

He takes a deep breath.

“Stark—Tony—” It’s the first time he’s ever called him by his first name. “—that’s....it’s quite an honor. I appreciate the thought. But I’m not sure you understand what you are asking of me. The reality is that I will never age. You will grow old and die and I will still be here, unchanged. I have been frozen at the age of ten for seven centuries. I’m not Pinocchio; I’ll never be a real boy no matter how much I want it. There’s only this.”

Joss lets the mask of his humanity fall. His face twists into something old and cruel, blue eyes entirely consumed by black and long fangs dripping. This is his true form, only revealed when he feeds or fights.

Tony meets his gaze with that steady confidence he could muster in good moments like this just happened to be.

"I know exactly what I'm asking of you. Most parents die before their children and I wouldn't want you to be anything than what you are, Joss. When I find out how to get everyone home, I intend to take you with me wherever we end up going even if that's to remain on this train for as long as I am given." And even seeing the vampire within the childlike face didn't change that, though he wouldn't be human if he didn't draw back just a little. "I know who and what you are and I care about you just as strongly as I would if you were my own. It's okay if you don't want to do this. It's just an offer. But don't you dare think for one damn second that it's because you're anything but perfect to me."

“I...”

He’s suddenly on the verge of tears. He’s touched and confused and the grief of finding and losing families over his long centuries of existence threatens to overtake him. He puts a small, cold hand into Tony’s much larger grip. “But you’re alive,” he says softly, sadly.

Joscelin takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I want to. I do. But I’m not a child, not really. I’m not anything you’ve ever encountered before. You’re still willing to put your trust in a monster?”

Tony's fingers curl around that hand, wishing he could do something even more to bring the boy some much needed happiness.

"No, but I don't see a monster here. You're Joss. You're the weirdly old kid who plays music and protects his brother Romeo and is a real sarcastic s.o.b. And that makes you something different- special. But.. take some time to think about it okay? We've got nothing on this train but time and there isn't any pressure to do this."

He was getting so ridiculously soft on this train, wasn't he? All those therapy sessions were paying off.

Joss nods. “Yes, I’ll think about it. I’ll give you an answer soon—after the next mission, maybe.”

He wants this. He wants it but he’s also terrified of it, terrified that once again the person he cares about will die and leave him alone.

He doesn’t initiate a hug, because physical contact really isn’t his thing, but he leans forward in such a way as to indicate that a hug would be appreciated.

Joss kept claiming to be such a monster and an adult, but then he moved closer with all the signs that he wanted a hug. It was adorable and the very reason the kid had stolen Tony's heart. Leaning down, he scooped the small body up and pulled him close. They'll pretend he didn't do this later, but he pressed a kiss to his temple.

"Feel like telling me what you and Romeo have been up to?" He asked, hoping that would give Joss something really pleasant to think about.

Joscelin won’t mention anything about the hug if you don’t, Tony. It makes him feel very safe. Far more than it should. He desperately wants to agree to Tony’s proposal, let himself be adopted by yet another well-meaning adult, but he’s afraid.

No matter what, he always ends up alone.

He smiles a little, relieved, as Tony changes the subject. “Romeo is Romeo. I don’t know if there’s a power in the universe that will shake his rosy worldview; he’s so damned optimistic it makes my teeth hurt.” He says this with fondness and love, as always. Romeo is, after all, Romeo: the single person who’s wrought the most profound change on the little vampire’s character. “Did you know that when we first met, I played a very cruel trick on him, tripped him into a mud puddle, mocked him, and he still wanted to be my friend? At any rate, he wound up in one of my dreams the other day. It was a memory, I think. I was very small, six years old, maybe, and Papa’s favorite bitch had just whelped a litter of puppies. I was allowed to pick one to have as my own—a present for Twelfth Night or some such thing—and in the dream Romeo helped me name one.”

He frowns, thinking.

“That dog died. The puppy I chose. It was too small and I played with it too hard. Papa beat me himself for that and I wasn’t allowed another dog. It’s interesting what one remembers in dreams. Not the pain, but the happiness.”

Tony was quiet a moment as he had to sort through that. The first part of the memory was pleasant but the second part, yikes. He'd never had a pet that wasn't a robot, so fortunately he hadn't had to worry about them being.. well, okay that's not true. He'd smashed a lot of pet robots on accident.

"I take it, he didn't see that part?"

Joscelin is quiet. "No, I don't believe he did. It was a happy dream."

"We can be glad for that at least," he said, knowing Romeo's well-being was important to Joss. They should focus on the positive if they could. Although he was having a hard time moving on from that awful story.

"Hey, you know that wasn't really your fault, right? If a kid is playing too rough with a pet and the pet gets injured, the person responsible is the parent who should've been watching. It's like if a child spills a drink you put on the edge of a table. Yes it's a nuisance but the fault is the idiot who put it on the edge of the table. You need to let that guilt go."

Joscelin shrugs, looking away. "It was a very long time ago. Nearly seven hundred years since then. It's easy to pass judgment now, but the world in the twenty-first century is completely different from the world of the fourteenth century. In the thirteen hundreds, I was punished. Had that happened in 2019, child protective services would have been called."

He sounds remarkably blasé about it all. The benefit of being very, very old.

Desperate to change the subject, he adds: "What do you think this month's mission will be?"

It was amazing the kid wasn't any more traumatized than he was given his past. Time could heal a lot of things, but still there were some demons that had to be particularly hard to live down. It was impressive the boy was as together as he was.

The change in topic was welcomed and it made Tony reflect a moment before answering. "Something with water, obviously. Perhaps something with submarines or ships? At least in a world where we can swim, there has to be air where I can finally use my suit again. That was particularly annoying during our last mission. What do you think?"

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February Catch-All Log

Re: Orphan Boy

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CN child abuse, animal death

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