[Semi-open] But you'll never see the price it costs- the scars collected all their lives

[mtsilver_conquor]

Who: Eva + YOU!
What Nightmares and breaking points.
Where 3C, Kitchen, Game Car, and Quite Car.
When Night Egret 26
Warnings PTSD mentions, mentioned past death, blatant talk of what a realistic pokemon world's like.


Cabin 3C (Closed to Cabinmates- tag as you please thread.)
"NO-!" That is very much a strangled yell as Eva sits bolt upright, eyes wide as her heart pounds in her ears. "Not real-"

Because it's not. She knows what's happened. Nightmare. But that doesn't magically make the fact she's sweety go away, nor stop the ragged breaths, or the glances at cabin mates to check that yes, it was simply a rather bloody dream. They're still alive. Misa. Nerdanel. Feanor. Princess in his pokeball. They're alive. That means Peter. Kaito. Little One. Kaiba. The rest of the train.

The friends she's made and those she thinks of as family. They are alive and not dead or dying or hurt or hostages or or or-

This isn't Lavender Tower. Not Silph Co. This isn't that hysterical, blood and tear-stained night Fluffy came into her possession-

Hands clench blankets -sleeping bag- and knuckles go white. "There's blankets under me. Not rock..."

She curls up and tries to keep the sob from escaping. She really, really does. But she does anyway because under everything? she's scared and terrified and her mum isn't a teleport away.


OPEN: Kitchen or Game Car
a/ Kitchen
Somehow she manages to abscond to the kitchen.

Tea is good. Tea is the best at soothing nightmare shaken nerves, even if it's gone cold, and she's not really drinking it so much as she is staring at it, face blank and hollow. For all of Eva's optimism and generally sunny personality, she has been through hell and back and it shows.

She hates it.

Mostly, Eva's not sure how to handle this because her support network isn't here, and there are parts - many, many, many parts- of her world she's not comfortable with talking about with people who wouldn't understand.

"Four, grant me strength..."

b/ Game's Car
At some point, she leaves the kitchen with a thermos of tea, grabs one of the cloaks she burrowed (stole) from the aborted mission, and retreats into a beanbag. Princess is curled up on her lap, and Eva looks- Lost.

Lost, unsure. Not at all like her normal self. The quiet confidence she carries herself with is shattered for now. But, that doesn't stop her from trying to put a smile on her face should anyone approach her.

"Hey. Couldn't sleep too?"


Quiet carriage (Closed to Garret)
Eventually, though, Eva retreats to one of the quiet cabins, where she curls up in on herself. She has... a lot to think about. She'd been more open this night about the brutality of her world than she'd like.

She's not sure how to deal with it.

Thankfully, there's no more tears, but it doesn't mean she can't get lost in thoughts. Enough so that she jerks when the door opens. "Uh - Oh. Garret-san?"

She tried to offer him a smile, but honestly? she just looks tired. Tired and drained.

Comments

Cabin 3C

[marriedanidiot]

"Eva?" Nerdanel is not sleeping - the elves don't, as a rule. They also try to sneak back in after their roommates have gone to bed, so their glow does not disturb them.

(Or if you're Feanor, possibly forget that Rest is a thing at all and don't come back for several nights in a row)

But Nerdanel is in her bunk reading, when Eva sits up with a strangled scream, and she comes over.

"Eva, my dear, what's wrong?"

[mtsilver_conquor]

"Nightmare-" She chokes out between the sobs, eyes still wide. Still scared.

"Bad- from home. Watched you all-" Die in horrific ways. Become hostages. Die. Be held at gunpoint. Die at the hands of a far, far too powerful psychic pokemon that was at the time technically a baby. "be hurt."

But they're alive, now and maybe she can breathe-

Her chest hurts.

She hates this and wants her mum and her shrink.

[tinkerheart]

This time Fëanor is actually in his bunk. Though rest is the last thing on his mind. Not since they had been abruptly whisked back to the train. Not since he has seen the shadows. So he hears the beginning of the conversation.

"But we're not," he says as he joins. "We're fine. So are you. Whatever calamities your mind tried to show you. They are not real."

[marriedanidiot]

Nerdanel is not Eva's mother, but a mother she is, and she draws her into her arms, shifting to let Feanor settle down on her other side, bracing her between them.

"Many dreams have been evil of late." She agrees. "But see, we are here, and we are well."

She hums softly, soothingly, trying to help her settle.

[mtsilver_conquor]

"I know that!" It's snapped as frayed emotions get the better of her. While yes, she regrets it, at the same time she really, really does not, even as she all but clings to Nerdanel, all too willing to wrap herself in what will be the first of a number of hugs tonight.

"I know that... But-" A sharp intake of breath in an attempt to calm her mind. It... doesn't exactly work. Because it never did, not with these nightmares and even a motherly hug doesn't offer much help. "I saw you- everyone- friends, family- die in horrific ways at the hands of pokemon."

Well, one pokemon in particular -her mewtwo- but that is so not a bridge she wants to cross unless she must.

[marriedanidiot]

Nerdanel doesn't flinch from the onslaught of emotion, understanding it for what it is, nerves frayed too fine, grief running too close to the surface, and she only hugs Eva tighter, running soothing fingers through her hair.

"One of yours?" She asks gently.

[mtsilver_conquor]

Eva whimpers and buries her head again Nerdanel, only to jerk away at the words, eyes wide before she slumps. "Seer. Of course-"

The Four grant her strength, but she can't lie. Not with a seer and does she even want to? "I...It's- before but Fluffy is- complicated."

Eva's pretty sure at this point every single mewtwo is a walking contradiction, so...

[marriedanidiot]

"Not really. But you're all but screaming it, my dear." Nerdanel says apologetically. "Do you know how to shut me out? You don't have to explain unless you want to. But it can help, sometimes."

[tinkerheart]

Fëanor smiles. For the most part, he doesn't say anything. His wife is an unrivaled expert in the difficult art of calming frayed nerves and soothing shaken spirits. She knows the best words for that so he just lets her speak. For the most part.

"If it weren't one of yours you'd be angry, not terrified," he adds.

There are simpler explanations for quite a lot of things. For others, there are not. He can easily imagine how a creature like Princess could turn dangerous.

[mtsilver_conquor]

"No. I- I don't." She's never actually had much of a need to defend her mind honestly. "I know how to ram logic down my throat though."

It won't help with this, she knows and she sighs. "Angry and terrified. It's... Gods. They people she killed were Rockets. Criminals. They made her to be the strongest pokemon ever. To surpass the gods."

And they succeeded. There is so, so, so much more to the story than she's willing to tell right now, the lest of it all being that her pokemon was nothing more than but one of many experiments to see if it could be done.

"I caught her to save my life and then I hid that ball away for a year and half until specialised anti-psychic tech could be made."

Made, tested and then remade. It was a long process.

[marriedanidiot]

"We'll teach you later, if you want." She promises, smiling acknowledgement of Feanor's observation.

The story makes her sigh sadly.

"So folk sought to touch the Secret Fire? I am not surprised that it went ill. Those who break a thing to learn more have left the path of wisdom. I am glad you were able to save her, Eva. Were you able to help her?"

[mtsilver_conquor]

"I- Yes. No. Maybe. It's- complicated. Psychic types are- complicated to... to the point there's debate on if they're sapient. They aren't, by the way. Yet Fluffy, she-"

Is, but Eva's not admitting that. Not if she can help it and it's less because she doesn't want to...

and more because she does not want to responsible for the destruction of an entire species.

"I... she's less murderous, now, at least. That's... something. She's still a baby though."

[marriedanidiot]

"Is?" Nerdanel prompts, "It is not surprising that a child who was mistreated should lash out at those responsible."

[tinkerheart]

"Or even at anyone that attempts to come close," Fëanor adds. Lashing out at a perceived danger, not only the real one, is something he's rather familiar with.

"If she is indeed but a fledgling then with the proper care and guidance, she can and will learn." He might be extrapolating too far and assuming too much but that one creature of hers that he knows a bit more about had never lacked in care nor guidance.

[mtsilver_conquor]

"She already is- though she'd sooner take a threat apart than not and it took us ages until we didn't have to use anti-psychic fields so she wouldn't kill us."

She did not tame and gentle her mewtwo alone, even if she did the bulk of the work.

"And it doesn't change what she was made to be."

[marriedanidiot]

"She learnt ill from the beginning, can you blame the child? It takes time to learn to trust again."

Nerdanel exchanges a speaking look with Feanor - some of course, learn far too late.

"It does not." She agrees. "But they say in our world that the orcs were elves, in the beginning. But at some point... they chose. And go on choosing, and have done so for as long as we have known about them. She was made, but she can still chose. If she changed, then I think you can say safely that she chose, and she chose to take a different road."

[mtsilver_conquor]

"No- and you shouldn't." Eva lives by that, honestly. To blame a child for what they've lived through is stupid.

Eva nods. She could explain more, justify her actions, but she's long past that. She did what she did because it was the right thing at the time and that's all that matters in the end.

"She did and I'm glad."

[marriedanidiot]

"That is good." She murmurs, still petting Eva's hair soothingly.

"Then I would be glad to meet her, one day, if the train is kind. Does it soothe the terror, to know that she would not do such things as you dream?"

[mtsilver_conquor]

There's a nervous, awkward laugh at the idea of the train bringing Fluffy to it. "If it's kind, it won't bring her."

Gods, Legends, myths and deities, she never wants to see Fluffy on the train. "But, yes, it does."

Now, at least and the now is what she needs to live in. "Thank you... "

Says the one who's basically decided Nerdanel is Hugs time right now.

ooc: pitya = little one

[marriedanidiot]

"You're welcome, pitya." Nerdanel is happy to hug her back.

"Do you think you can sleep now? Or would you prefer to stay awake?"

Awwwwww.

[mtsilver_conquor]

She does wonder what the word means, but she can ask later.

"Awake is good. I don't think I'll sleep for a while yet," Eva says with a sigh. "I'll probably end up reset by the train as it is."

[marriedanidiot]

"If you want to try, Feanaro and I could probably help with that." She says gently.

"But if you would rather stay awake... shall we go and get an early breakfast?"

[tinkerheart]

"Or... if it's too early for breakfast maybe a cup of hot chocolate would be better?" He joins in with his own idea.

"I think there's some left in the storage still."

Not even the spiderkids and one actual spider managed to devour it all. At worst, there's plain cocoa.

[mtsilver_conquor]

"Thank you for the offer, yet... I think I need to let my mind settle."

More than settle, but well, that's neither here or now and it's something she has to deal with.

"I'd actually go for a cup of tea right now. Food... not for a while."

A long while if she has anything to say about it.

[marriedanidiot]

"Do you want us to come with you?" Nerdanel offers. Some people like company, she knows, but others don't.