what's left to guide me [open]

[blue_ice]

Who: Seto Kaiba and anyone/everyone he can't successfully avoid (that's you!)
Where: Various (library/kitchen/sauna) + some closed prompts in comments, more on request!
When: Imagination 22
What: Having finally resigned from the council, Kaiba's left to figure out just who he's supposed to be now. One problem: it's a little hard to have a private crisis when train is Small.
Warnings: Possible mentions of violent history/suicide. Those will be warned for/asked about before it comes up, after clearing it with the player.



a. library car

Hearing answers from the train had been a temporary respite from Dealing With This, but when there's no trainwide distraction going on, you have to make your own respite. That's why he'll be avoiding his usual trademark car of Games, sticking to an alcove in the upstairs library.

He perched awkwardly at a desk with his laptop at his fingerprints, dressed simply in his black turtleneck and black leather pants. He'd left all the flashy accessories behind today. He's absorbed in lines of code on one half of the screen, some kind of bizarre game taking form on the other. It's just a swirling ooze of picture for now, almost like a black hole. An apt metaphor for his life at the moment.

Eventually, he drops his head in his hands over the keyboard. The black hole eats all the other characters on the screen. It's a good effect, but...definitely needs improving.

b. kitchen scrubbing
One thing he can do, at a minimum, is his chores. He throws himself into them with gusto, vigorously scrubbing soap stains at sinks and sweeping crumbs. He's careful to wait until just after the cooking team has cleared out from each meal, hopefully before anyone comes wandering in for a snack.

He's aggressive on the counters and dishes, mopping and scrubbing the floors with all the strength he has. He's on a single mission: to make it all shine. At least until the next mealtime.

c. late night sauna

Sauna enthusiasts have long preached that a sweat session in these rooms can cure most ills. Sleeplessness is one of them, though whether feeling lost counts is up for debate. Seto decides it's worth a shot when the hour becomes quite late---his tossing and turning will wake his boyfriend if he's not more careful.

Yes, leaving it all behind sounds like an excellent idea. He enters with a towel slung over his hips and drops bonelessly onto a bench, determined to sweat whatever this is out of his system for good.

Comments

A

[luckydragonsfoot]

[After the questions with the Train, Katsuya determined he's going to need Kaiba's help to do a bunch.

But uh, finding Kaiba was really weirdly hard, and-

Aha!

...A...hah?] ..........AWww hell, yer in th's kinda mood again..?

[He didn't even see him. Katsuya is still coming around the corner as he does so. It's not until after his words, that he can see Kaiba at all.]

[blue_ice]

[ A familiar voice pulls Seto away from the black hole. He turns his head and regards Jonouchi with a tiny sigh. ]

What kind of mood?

[luckydragonsfoot]

Are you really gonna make me spell tha' one out?

C'mon, what's eatin' y' th's time? Hell, if you can walk an' talk, come w'th me while I'm at it, I need yer help w'th somethin'.

[blue_ice]

All right. Fine.

[ He packs up his briefcase once more, laptop and tools carefully tucked away. ]

...Though you're sure there isn't someone else who can take over?

w/ yugi: their room (5D)

[blue_ice]

Night is...tough. Seto usually tries to turn in at roughly the same time, so they can say their good nights and maybe trade affection.

That night's a little different. He looks exhausted, but sleep isn't forthcoming.

"...ugh. Sorry, Yugi. You can turn the light out."

[sizedoesntmatter]

"What's wrong?" he could already tell it was something. His pattern of doing things was slightly different. It could be that he is working too much or something else, but he knew the best thing to do was at least ask and talk about it.

"I am taking a guess that something is, but...you know you can tell me right?"

[blue_ice]

"...yeah," Seto admits, sitting up on his bunk. He idly stretches his fingers in front of him in the low light, then looks up at Yugi.

"How did you figure out what your purpose is? Your goal?"

[sizedoesntmatter]

"You mean on the train? Because... Maybe not the best person to ask that question to." Considering he's pretty much been winging it the whole time without much of a purpose behind it.

"But with attempting to figure it out... You just find that thing that clicks, I suppose."

B

[sos_pilot]

Can't escape the mind-buddy, Seto. Della pokes her head into the kitchen, eyebrows raised.

"... Hey, Seto."

[blue_ice]

"...guessing you're not here for a cookie," Seto sighs, but he passes her one and a drink anyway. Might as well, while he's cleaning up.

He takes a seat on a nearby stool and gestures for her to join him, resigned to this talk.

"How much did I tell you about my childhood? Just that we were adopted and that we're no longer with that family, right?"

[sos_pilot]

Della nodded, heading over to take a seat. She gives the cookies a few nibbles before speaking up.

"That's about right. Didn't sound like a happy time growing up for either of you."

[blue_ice]

"It wasn't," he admits, thinking for a moment about how in-depth he should go...but his emotions on the subject will tell her enough.

"His name was Gozaburo Kaiba. He was the head of a weapons-dealing enterprise that dominated the country, and from the time he adopted us, I was trained to someday take control of the business. There was no love or sentiment involved in my upbringing, it was simply a training program."

He sounds a little bitter, but also conflicted about it. "What he didn't anticipate is that I surpassed him, and I took over the company years earlier than expected. I'm...proud of the company's transition from weapons to gaming, but I was in a dark place then."

A small sigh. "And that brings us to today. I've tried, but I've simply realized by now that my training didn't put me in a position to be the kind of person the train needs as a facilitator. I was trained to be brutally efficient and in control, not...meander meetings toward a tentative consensus."

Feelings Spa

[namethattune]

Sleep is not coming easy for Siebren tonight. This is not an unusual occurrence, though there is seemingly no reason for it at the moment; his mind is blank, but he cannot rest.

So he rises, and silently leaves his room so as not to awaken his roommate, and heads to the spa. Ken had waxed poetic about the sauna; perhaps he should give that a try this evening.

He is not expecting to see Seto there when he enters, but upon reflection, he cannot say he is surprised. Seto had been raised for brutal success, but he had also recently resigned from the council and had been attacking his chores today as though they were his mortal enemies. That he is unable to sleep is not unexpected after all of that.

"We must stop meeting like this," he says lightly, taking a seat opposite Seto. It's not much of a joke, but it's something, at least.

[blue_ice]

Seto seems to have a faraway expression, hands folded on his towel. He tenses as the door opens, but his shoulders drop almost immediately. There's no mistaking the taller man even through dim lighting or a little steam. At least this is someone he trusts.

He spares a small nod as he thinks about how he can possibly explain himself. Does he have to? Avoiding socializing isn't exactly unusual for him, and yet...things are different now. Seto is different now, and that's what has led him to this moment, as uncomfortable as that is to think about.

He starts with a hollow laugh and a simple observation. "True, but I used to hear that the sauna could cure all ills, insomnia included. And I didn't want to wake Yugi again."

[namethattune]

"I was more referring to the fact that it is so late it is nearly early." Not that Siebren has any room to throw stones in that regard - sleepless nights are not uncommon for him, and he will not hold someone else accountable for using the same coping mechanisms as he does.

"It does come highly recommended." Especially when one speaks with Ken. "And Yugi is...?" Seto's roommate, presumably, and quite possibly the young man Seto had been kissing so passionately the day before. Siebren believes he'd caught that name, but he had also been preoccupied by the train finally deigning to answer questions. Best not to make assumptions.

As to the reason either of them are here this evening...well, they can ease into that.

[blue_ice]

Seto stretches slowly, focusing on his breathing as he allows the heat to work through him. In and out...it's nice to let go like this.

But he's still aware of himself enough to look up at Siebren curiously. That he's turning pink from the heat doesn't really hide that he's a little flustered.

"He's my boyfriend," Seto confirms. And then, because he very clearly remembers pulling away from Siebren for a moment of passion with Yugi yesterday? He realizes the man might want an explanation.

"Yugi was the first person other than my brother to believe I could be better than the bitter, hateful person I was when we met," he confesses. "He reached out to me when no one with sense would, and when we found ourselves here he finally wore me down. He has a brilliant tactical mind, he's fun to be around...and he's the kindest person I've ever met. Back then, I detested him for it, but I see now he was right."

His expression is soft, his fondness for Yugi clear. "We found out some time ago that we were from slightly different alternate realities, so when we return home it won't be to the same place. The train telling us I have a chance of finding him and all of you again was such a relief---I have experience with pioneering methods of interdimensional travel, and I won't give up until I have my own voidcraft."

He lets himself laugh then, a small joke.

A. Of course.

[guru_clef]

Clef had been switching between books, which was the only reason that he was even aware that someone else was in the room. He stood on his stone, and used his Bending to send the book back to the shelf. He was about to fetch the next when he heard the - needlessly - tall person muttering. He was trying to work on his own issues about his height. Since coming to the train he was mostly okay with it. But seeing someone that tall out of nowhere brought back memories of that one Storm... Or maybe the laptop did that. Or...

He shook his head to clear it. Standing on his stone he wouldn't be eye level if the other stood, he estimated, but close at least. He took a breath spoke. "Is there some assistance that you needed?"

His desire to be helpful and his love for the library might have made him a good librarian. If he could have been bothered to notice anything when he was in the middle of a book, that was.

[blue_ice]

"Assistance?"

Did they have librarians now? He wondered about that for a moment, then looked at the game over screen, full of sad little creatures begging the player to try again.

He really was cruel with his designs sometimes.

"...it's not working. I haven't programmed a game in months, it's more difficult than expected to restart."

[guru_clef]

"Oh." He was trying to figure out if he could even help with that, then he realized that the very Storm he had been thinking of meant that he could.

"It has been some time longer than even that for me, and I suspect I was working on other aspects than you." He had only done some of the rudimentary programming after all, he had been more focused on the hardware. But everyone in the higher levels of Piffle had to do at least a little of each job. It was the only way to keep Icchan from going after you. Besides, he was fascinated on how the technology was controlled mentally, and for that... he had to do some programing anyway.

B

[unfavorableinstigation]

Nita's been feeling more than a bit adrift herself, lately; first the general meeting, then the council one - and then, above all, the surprise Q&A session just a few hours later.

She's been rethinking a lot of things... but chores are a constant.

"You want a hand?"

Nita is there, spare kitchenette towel over her shoulder, to use or offer as preferred.

"Though if you're doing this to vent or something, it might be more help to let it take more time."

Use up more of the stress energy, etcetera. And as for the conclusion-

Well, to Nita, the vociferousness of the scrubbing told enough of a story, even if she hadn't been at the council meeting.

[blue_ice]

"...do what you want. There's plenty of work right after a meal. And I haven't even started on the bathrooms yet."

That's Seto's offer, anyway. He's not that different from his usual demeanor, but his washing does slow some.

"I thought I should lay low for a while."

[unfavorableinstigation]

With that reassurance, Nita finds herself a spot - far enough away that there's still work, close enough that they can talk if both feel the need.

"Find any new people to talk to? Sometimes a fresh ear helps."

Someone who either hadn't heard what you'd been through or said, or who didn't care.

B. Kitchen

[diamondsfortears]

Unfortunately for Kaiba, Daia comes here when people are less likely to be there - he knows not everyone is comfortable with blood-drinking, and that maybe not everybody knows he's a vampire. And since Kaiba had made himself scarce, he might as well take a break for some lunch for now.

Much to his surprise, Kaiba's in the kitchen too. He blinks as he watches him scrub things spotless. There's something to be admired there.

"Wow, you got them so clean." A beat, then he remembers he's been looking for Kaiba for a while now. "Oh, so this is where you've been! I've been looking all over for you."

[blue_ice]

"...Daia?"

Kaiba looks at him, a little guiltily. He's been so absorbed in himself today that he's forgotten to do a number of other things. Organize the games, train...eat. Oh well.

"What did you need?"

[diamondsfortears]

"I uhm... I made you some snacks. I thought you might like something sweet. And I've been practising cooking. Uhm, hold on."

Daia moves to the fridge and shuffles around for a minute.

"Ah, good, it looks like no one else touched them."

He pulls out a small platter of honey cookies. They're a little burnt on some of the edges, but should at least taste fine.

He holds them out to Kaiba and smiles.

"Here."