voidtreckerexpress | (open) i don't know how to word it

Entry tags:

(open) i don't know how to word it

Who: Inigo and you!
When: Fiddlesticks 27
Where: Sleeper carriages, luggage carriage
What: Inigo loses a boyfriend.
Warnings: None, just a very sad Inigo.

( scenario a - sleeper carriages )

Maybe you've already noticed it, but something about Inigo today seems.. off. Or at least, extra off, considering Inigo has already seemed to be acting more strangely than usually the past few days, especially since the day of the party.

But today? Today things have seemed to reach a fever pitch. Maybe you're worried enough to go check up on him, in which case you might find the guy in one of the hallways of the sleeper carriages, near his room. If you bother to ask him what's up though, he'll just laugh.

"What? No, I'm fine! Of course I'm fine, what could po--"

That's the exact moment he turns to head into his room to try and hide from this conversation, only to forget to scan his ticket. Which means he's just walking head-first into the door, causing him to topple over to the ground.

It's fine. He's fine. This is fine.

( scenario b - luggage carriage )

Inigo is trying really hard to carry on as usually. Really, he is. Because that's just what he does. He's not someone who sits around and mopes. Sure, the circumstances here may be different than the ones back home, but old habits are hard to give up, and Inigo's oldest and most stubborn habit is definitely the thought running through his mind that he has to be okay. He has to be strong. So despite the moments where he slips up and seems off, he tries so hard to laugh. And joke. As if nothing is up.

As if he doesn't feel like his heart has been torn straight out of his body.

But it's so hard to keep it up all the time. At least the shower is a good place to cry, but when Inigo finds it occupied exactly at the moment he needs it, he quickly tries to look for another place. He knows nowhere on the train is safe to hide from everyone, but he figures the luggage carriage is at least the furthest out of the way. It's the only option right now. It's either that, or crying in the middle of the train.

Which is why if you happen to be in the luggage carriage - or went looking for him everywhere only to end up here - you may find Inigo sitting on top of some suitcases. His knees are drawn up to his chest, and although that makes it impossible to see his face from the current angle, the telltale sounds of sobs are probably all anyone needs to see what's going on here.

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Loosening his arms was the easy part. Waiting for Inigo to stand and watching him carefully for any hint that he wasn't okay without seeming like he was doing it, was the hard part.

Gladio pushed himself up to his feet and smiled once he was sure that the kid wasn't about to fall over or something. He smiled and looked at the door, then at Inigo and raised his brows.

"Depends on how many times you go and fight with it." A pause. "You gonna tell me what's up now?"

Inigo looks weirdly confident for a moment. Especially when Gladio smiles - because it makes Inigo feel like he might just get away with his dumb action. Maybe he can just let Gladio chalk it up to this apparently being typical dumb Inigo behaviour. He'd rather seem like an idiot than like someone who - gasp! - might actually be sad at times. The horror.

But all that confidence and faith is shot down the moment Gladio keeps on talking. It's like someone put a pin into Inigo and deflated him. Even his shoulders lower a little when he hears that last part.

"It's.." Nothing, he wants to say, but something about Gladio makes him feel like there's no way he's going to get away with that. The big guy is onto him.

Okay, different strategy. What if he tells him, but just acts like he's okay with it? Maybe he could get away with that? It's harder for sure, since he feels a pit in his stomach the moment he breaches this topic, but he has to try.

"Well, my boyfriend's name turned gold on the passenger list this morning." Phew. At least he manages to say it casually, despite the fact he can feel everything inside of him shrivel up at the words.

He waited patiently, watching the play of expressions on Inigo's face and fully expected to be brushed off. So he was a little surprised when he spoke. And when Inigo did, his smile softened. Before he could even think of what he was doing, he stepped forward, stretched out an arm and hooked the kid to pull him against his chest.

"Damn..." He sighed. "Maybe he'll show back up again?" Gladio tilted his head to try and catch Inigo's gaze. "I did. It happened to me, the gold name thing. They found me in the luggage area. Maybe he'll show up there soon?"

It's so easy to just pull Inigo over like that. Mostly since the gesture totally catches him off guard. His eyes grow a little wider as he's suddenly pulled into the hug. Sure, Inigo already knows that the first impression he got from Gladio as some grumpy scary guy was far from accurate, but he didn't see this coming either.

He doesn't resist or try to escape the grip though, instead passively accepting it. When Gladio manages to catch his gaze, Inigo mostly still looks surprised before - after a moment - it's replaced by a more awkward smile instead.

"Maybe. But.. honestly, even if he would show up again, I'm not so sure he'd even want to talk to me."

"Why do you think that?" His tone, while that same deep rumble, was gentle. He liked Inigo. Reminded him of a younger Prompto, silly and sweet, with a habit of falling over his own feet. But tough at his core.

He kept his arm around Inigo, though it was clear that if the younger man wanted to pull away he could, Gladio wasn't forcing him to remain. Nor would he force him to explain himself.

"If you don't wanna talk, maybe you'd wanna come get some tea with me? We can talk about anything else."

Inigo definitely looks conflicted at that question. The hug he doesn't mind.. It's rather nice, and Inigo likes hugs. And needs them so, so much more than he likes to let on to, so it's great whenever someone else initiates it for once. (And honestly, now he's on the receiving side of it, he can tell Gladio really is a good hugger.)

But explaining his reasons for why he thinks Yuki doesn't like him feels messy. It means revealing so much of his insecurities. Of everything that he constantly tries to shove under the rug. He's not so sure he can just admit that - especially to Gladio, who seems like such an all around cool and nice (although scary when he wants to be) kind of guy. Inigo really doesn't want to lose face right now.

Or any more than he already might have, anyway.

"I.. Well, I'm not about to turn down some tea."

At least that gives him a little bit more time to think. Maybe he'll realise what feels right and what doesn't feel right to tell Gladio when he's sitting down with some tea.

Inigo didn't want to talk, that's fine. Gladio could do the talking.

He threw an arm around the kids shoulders and got him walking back in the direction of the kitchens.

"Lets get you some tea then. And we can talk about whatever you want. I don't think you've ever told me about the world you come from? What's it like there?" Gladio grinned. "Would I like it there, you think?"

Thankfully it's super easy to get Inigo to go along. The boy isn't even dragging his feet or anything. The moment Gladio has that arm around his shoulders, he's actively moving along with the bigger guy.

Especially since he kind of feels like Gladio has the right idea here. Maybe he just.. needs to preoccupy himself as much as possible. That was so much easier to do back home, where he could just throw himself straight back into a fight rather than having to think about unpleasant things, but that's a little harder to do here on the train.

Talking about other things might do the trick though.

"My world?" The topic seems to surprise him a little, but since he's willing to try anything as a distraction, he ends up going along with it. "Well.. You did say you like open places, right? We have a lot of that. We don't even have trains like these where I'm from. All methods of transportation are just out in the open air."

He thought it'd be easier for Inigo to talk about something he knew well. And his home was something Gladio was curious about. He liked hearing about the places friends had come from. And so far he knew limited info on where Inigo was actually from.

But at his brief description, Gladio couldn't help grin. "Love open spaces. So no cars or anything? Just... what? Ride on the back of a domesticated beast?" He asked with genuine curiosity.

He frowns a little at the mention of cars, like he really has to wreck his brain as to what those are again.. He's thankful for all the casual lessons about modern things he's been getting just slipped into conversations, but sometimes it's really hard to keep all these new words apart.

It's not too important though (although it does have the nice benefit of luring Inigo's thoughts away from sad matters), so he just shakes his head and answers.

"We have carts pulled by animals for groups.. but some people do get around on horses, yes. Or pegasi and wyverns, though those are more common in battle than just to get around. I usually just walk everywhere." Not like there were many places to go to in the future anyway, after all..

"Ah, so like that, huh?" Gladio nodded slowly. There was a time, way back when in his own worlds history, where there hadn't been technology and they would use beasts of burden to take them from place to place in carriages and carts.

"... You used wyverns in battle?" Gladio asked, surprised. "... We just kill em back home. They're pests more than anything. Attack anything and anyone in range."

"You kill them?" Inigo seems similarly surprised. If not moreso. Sure, he knows wyverns are dangerous. And maybe under different circumstances he might have felt similarly about it, but it just feels weird to hear that being discussed so casually when one of his friends is attached to a wyvern like it's an actual family member.

At least it means his thoughts are dragged far away from Yuki for a moment. It feels like the first time in days.

"You can tame them if you try, you know. At least in our world. It's not all that rare for people to fly around on them."

"Well, when you're attacked by them, what else can you do?" Gladio asked with a shrug. He generally didn't like to attack or kill anything that was harmless. Like chocobos!

"... Not on our world. Can't be tamed as far as I know. But that'd be a hell of a nice way to get around. We just have chocobo's back home and they can't exactly fly." They could flutter and glide when they jump, but it wasn't the same as flying.

He lets out a breath. It sounds just very slightly wry.

"Yes, Prompto did tell me all about those.." It's kind of hard to avoid the Chocobo lecture ramble when you're friends with Prompto. Especially when you confess to knowing nothing about the creatures. Inigo may have learned more about them than he'd ever care to...

"I'd say perhaps one day you could experience it yourself, but so far it doesn't seem like the train prefers to take us to worlds where they exist, let alone a world where they are tamed. Honestly, I still can't believe that our time in the one world that felt familiar to me was the one time the mission got cut short."

Can't they get another medieval world to make up for it? Please? Inigo could really use that, especially now he feels all sad and awkward with Yuki's disappearance. It's the least the train can do to make it up to him.

"Prompto would." He rolled his eyes, but there was great affection in his tone. Prompto loved any chance he could get to talk about chocobo's. And when he met someone who had no idea what they were, it was even better for him. He'd talk for hours if he was able. Hell, even if you knew what they were, Prompto should chatter a mile a minute about them.

"Give it time, kid. We'll find a world like that one day." And he was pretty sure he'd love a word like that. He wasn't really technologically savvy. Gladio preferred to live off of the land. "Hey? Do you like camping?"

"Camping?"

He repeats the word, blinking at Gladio. Inigo sure knows what camps are. But to him it's always felt more like something that's necessary (how else are you going to travel around with a group of soldiers?) than something you either like or don't. It's like asking if you like breathing to him, hence why he seems slightly confused.

At least it's thoughtfully confused rather than him-running-his-mouth-like-an-idiot confused, considering he's still not exactly at 100% with the whole Yuki situation going on.

"I mean.. I suppose I should ask what it's like in your world? Just in case we're thinking of something different."

Edited 2020-07-24 21:24 (UTC)

Gladio gave Inigo a puzzled look. Clearly they had the same thing, otherwise the kid wouldn't be asking him that. He tried to imagine a way camping could be viewed differently and was coming up short. So he shrugged.

"Camping. Setting up a tent, starting a fire, relaxing under the stars. That kind of thing." Living off the land some, eating and living out in the wilds. It was something Gladio loved to do back home. It was something of a hobby, but he rarely, if ever, got a chance to talk about it to people. He knew it was boring.

.. This is rough. Because Inigo can see the slight difference here that confused him so much to begin with. But it's hard to point out said difference without giving away just a bit more about his situation than he'd like to. He doesn't want people to know how hard he had it. Gladio's smile is so nice! It shouldn't disappear for a second just because Inigo's had a crappy life.

"We travel around in tents back home." Maybe he can just make it seem like it's some voluntary nomadic lifestyle rather than a literal apocalyptic hellscape... "So I suppose I've never really thought about it as some special activity? To me it's always been.. just the way things were. If that makes sense? When I think of home, I don't really think of a building the way most people might."

"I guess different worlds see it different, huh?" Gladio should have considered that. From what little he knew of Inigo's world it made sense that the thing that Gladio thought of as a hobby was just a way of life for Inigo.

"Well lets turn this around. Do you have a hobby, Inigo? Back home mine was camping." He grinned. "But since that seems kind of dumb when that's just basic living for you, lets see what your hobby is? What did you guys do for fun back on... What's your world called anyway?"

Gladio! Gladio, dude, man, you can't just ask that! Sure, it might be an innocent enough question for most people, but answering what people did for fun in his world is really hard to do when pretty much all of their time was spent fighting for their lives, day by day..

Ugh. It's so hard to make up a fake hobby he knows nothing about. Maybe he could at least talk about dancing, since he managed to sneak some moments of practice with that in there back home, but that's embarrassing too.. He's mentally weighing talking about how depressing his life is versus talking about his embarrassing hobby.. Both suck! He never wanted this!

"Ylisse." Or well, that's the name of the country, and also the continent.. But that works enough, right? Besides, that's the easier question between everything else! "And... erm, we didn't have much time for doing things just for fun. You know, since there was always so much work to be done!"

Haha. Yes. Work. Clearly not work that involves facing death daily, nope siree!

"It's honestly kind of odd to me just how much free time we're getting here on this train."

"I supposed I can understand that..." Gladio nodded with a low laugh. "Can't say I had much time for fun myself. Between training and running around after Noct... And then later. Not much time for fun really." But camping was something they'd done out of necessity, luckily it had been a hobby of his so something that had come in pretty damn useful.

He shot a look at Inigo as he pushed open a door for him and waited for him to pass.

"... How much has Prompto told you about our world? Aside from chocobos?"

"Erm.."

Inigo seems to have to think for a moment. Prompto is a good guy, really, but the amount of words that can spew from his mouth in under a minute must be a world record. Hence why it's hard to tell what information was about his world among everything else..

So he'll just walk ahead through the door as he's thinking, frowning as he has to dig quite deep.

"Not too much, I think. He did show some pictures from your world, which is how I saw those chocobos. The landscapes looked pretty, though."

Gladio nodded, it sounded about right. Just talk about chocobo's, put a positive spin on it all. No need to bother anyone with the little details.

"It's beautiful there... But dangerous." Gladio stepped through the door and continued their walk through toward the kitchen. "We'd left home, the four of us, to take Noct to meet this Princess. They were supposed to get married. Not long after that... our city was destroyed." Gladio took a deep breath and sighed, frowning deeply. "There was supposed to be peace talks. But it was all a ploy to get beyond the city's shields. After that... we were less travelling and more on the run. Everywhere we turned they'd be there, hounding us..."

"As beautiful as our world is, it's not without it's problems. An enemy nation slowly trying to take over the world. My city, Insomnia, was the last one standing against them. And with us running around with the King... they needed him." But he'd left for the train before the real chaos started. He didn't see the things the others had. Ardyn. Altissia. Luna's death.

"It's weird, isn't it? For all the dangers, if someone offered me a way back home, I'd probably take it." Because he missed it. He missed his sister. He missed not being trapped in a tin can. Gladio's lips quirked into a smile then. "Point I#m getting at is, after leaving home, camping was a way of life then. It was our only home. Stopped being a hobby and more a necessity." Aside from the times when they were so damn tired they'd fork out for a motel. But with money tight, it had been camping most of the time. "Between fighting for our lifes, there wasn't much time to enjoy things... Even Noct's fishing stopped being for fun, he fished so we ate that night."

"I don't think it's that odd." Wanting to go back to a place that's dangerous, he means. Inigo may not necessarily feel the same - after all, even if he does go home, he'll eventually just have to vanish off to somewhere and change his identity once they defeat Grima, considering new baby versions of all of them will be born - but he can understand it. There are things - people - he really misses too, after all.

But he keeps it at that, letting Gladio finish speaking otherwise. Especially since.. well, that last part hits really close to home, though Inigo makes sure to smile and not betray as much.

"I'm sorry to hear that. It must have been hard, not having the time to stop and enjoy things." Ha... haaaah... "Although.. at least all of you were together. That must have been a good thing, right?"

Gladio laughed as they finally reached the kitchen and he moved into it to fill the kettle with water and get it boiling.

"It's not about stopping and enjoying myself. You can do that no matter what you do. Fighting beside a friend? That can feel just as good as taking time to sit and relax. We all do what we can to make the best of every situation." He half turned to look over at Inigo. "I'm just trying to tell you... you can keep hiding all you want, kid. But from one warrior to another, you're not doing yourself any favours pretending." Was it obvious Inigo was pretending? No. For a long while he'd had Gladio fooled. But he'd had some suspicions. This conversation just made him realise he was right to be suspicious. He just didn't know why.

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argh i never got a notif for this!! i'm so sorry, you should've booped me on the head ;;;