voidtreckerexpress | Catnapping

Entry tags:

spark [crau]

Catnapping - OTA

Who: Spark and whomever
Where: All around the train
When: After the mission, before the platform
What: Spark being introspective while trying to pretend he's still just... Spark
Warnings: Angst, possible violence mentions.

Spark often claimed that he slept through missions to explain why he was absent from them, so he was free to have Gar or Privateer Pirate show up. But this time he actually had slept. He'd been sleeping a lot since that world with the fake lives, that one that felt so much like a storm from Nautilus.

But he was....

Lonely. That was it. He was lonely.

He was more settled now than he had been after the fish world, but he was still barely eating and avoiding people. Or had been. He just...

He wished Adrien would show up here. Or The Doctor would know who he was. Rose. Nino. Connie. Nita. Kirika. Dominic. Greg. Donovan. Luna. He'd even take Jacob or Gabriel at this point, though each had their issues. Of course if he was bothering with wishing... Quilt.

He shook himself and walked through the train, looking for someone who needed a cat to snuggle with, or tell their problems to. Or a friendly face from Nautilus, since none from his real home or Paris were here...

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Yeah... he wasn't liking this conversation, at all. "We going to eat fish, or what?"

Link gave him a tired smile that didn’t reach his eyes. They stayed sad and slightly hurt.

“Sure.” He started walking towards the kitchen.

“I—-understand. I do. I wasn’t worth the Doctor’s time, so, you don’t know me. I’m sorry.”

"The Doctor here doesn't remember any of us," he said flatly, still hurt by that. "He told me I was in his way," More or less. He walked with him, tail swishing in irritation at the memory. "Besides, The Doctor - none of him - got to decide who I knew." He hesitated, then relented, "But people told me you didn't like jokes," feline shrug, which was kind of a dip of his front.

“Zelda wasn’t there either,” Link said.

He scratched his neck with his free hand.

“In battle, I don’t like jokes. Shadow says it’s a coping mechanism. But, it…grates on me. I can’t joke when I’m trying to make sure innocent people don’t die. Their lives deserve more respect than that.”

Link took a deep breath while they walked.

“Ganondorf killed most of the people in Castle Town. When I woke up after seven years, the town was filled with monsters and just the burnt shells of buildings.”

He shook his head.

“Anyway. I can joke about my own death. But, I can’t joke when other people are on the line. I think about the people who died while I was sealed in the Sacred Realm, and…how can I possibly make light of it?”

He stopped dead and stared at him, then jumped up onto his shoulder to make sure he'd listen.

"Donvan told us, well he told his sons and I was there, that you have to joke in battle. It's not just about keeping your own sanity. In Greg's case that's a lost cause anyway," he said offhandedly making a ... catty... remark. "He said it is like why you can't have a death grip on your sword if you're using one. Being all tight and rigid your too stiff to move well and if you get hit on your weapon or shield or whatever instead of rolling with the blow, you take all the impact and it reverberates up your arm or something. He says you get a lot worse hurt fighting stiff. He always teaches people to fight nimble and light, and he says wit as in jokes helps keep your other wits as sharp as your sword."

He thought about the other fighters he knew besides the French kids, because that was dangerous territory right now. Szark says that he jokes when he fights also to keep other people off balance. If someone hates him for being gay and he fills his fight with innuendo in his banter they get too angry to think. Against other adversaries, it makes then not take him seriously enough with his skill or confuses them. Dominic always says that if you have to fight, be as confusing as possible, because someone trying to work out what you just said isn't focused on what you're about to do." Who else? He managed not to wince as he remembered. Bumper. Another friend, gone. But cats weren't supposed to be sad, so he talked like he wasn't. "Bumper said that if you can't crack jokes when you're fighting, you're going to crack in other ways after. And that if you have no humor at all in saving lives, are you just saving the fact of life, or the experience of... no, sorry, that was Luna who said that. She said that when you can't find reasons to laugh, even in the darkest moments, it is too easy to wonder why you're alive at all," he said. And given Luna had tried to kill herself soon after Dominic met her, and stopped Nimmel from doing the same, she should know.

"And Milov said... actually I don't remember what he said, he gave me fish while he was talking, but he's a spellwolf, so I'm sure he was right, whatever it was."

"Now who's trying to change who?"

A soft sigh, that might have started life as a sad laugh.

"I'm never going to be quippy or bantering in battle. I'll fight by anyone's side, I'll die for them, happily, to save others. If joking in battle works for others, I can respect that. I won't even try to get them to stop. It's just...not me. But, I'm getting used to not being what people want."

He reached a hesitant hand towards Spark. "I'm...sorry. I don't usually talk about this stuff with anyone but Shadow. I shouldn't be bothering anyone."

The teen cleared his throat. "So, do they have butter or will I need to Bend some?"

"I have no clue what they have, I can't get into the fridge. I have to paws at the door. No hands," he reminded him, But flopped down over his shoulder and shook his head at the rest.

"Not about what anyone wants you to be, kid," he said with a yawn. "But some people might not want you to die in battle or crack up between battles when you could have been okay. Me? I don't care about changing anyone, just about fish," he lied. "But I'm good at listening when you need to talk, and my fur is soft and soothing to pet."

"Everyone has their own way of coping. With battle and fighting, I mean."

Link shut his eyes and sighed. "Back home and in Nautilus, ranch work helps me. Taking care of all the animals, the cows, horses, cucucos. Repairing fences, building nesting boxes, trimming hooves, milking the cows--"

He opened his eyes and managed a more genuine smile, although his eyes were still sad. "Working with my hands, building things, fixing things, caring for the animals of the ranch, all of that is what helps heal me. There's so much life on a ranch. New life. Babies in the spring, the garden growing---despite all the death and bad things in the world, there's still new life and the world just goes on, you know?"

Some of the sadness lessened as he continued. "Malon's there, and when we work together? It's like...everything is okay. Just for a little bit."

"Sounds like a lot of work to me," he said with a yawn. "But I guess I can see it, maybe."

Spark got one of Link's genuine, albeit dorky, smiles. "It's a lot of work. But, I love every second of it."

"Every second of bing hot, sweaty, and tired?" he asked, knowing that sounding skeptical often made people argue how wonderful the thing they loved was, which made them happier. Which usually led to fish. Though he wasn't as concerned about the fish at the moment as he usually was, old habits were still old habits. Besides, get Dominic on a tangent this way and usually he was waxing poetic about math or whatever for hours.

"Yeah. It's almost like being a regular person."

When they reached the kitchen, Link set about preparing the fish.

He hopped off onto the counter. "Exactly! Why would anyone want that?Much nicer being a cat."

Link got the flour and butter ready. "It's not a choice, it's what I'm for. I don't actually get to be a regular person. I'm not bitter or anything, I understand why, and I'm honored to serve."

He put the butter into a pan and set the heat on underneath it, watching as it slowly started to slide and melt.

"It's a heavy burden sometimes, though. And I know I won't be lifting a sword as an old man. I just hope I live long enough to have a family."

As Link spoke he dredged the fish fillets through flour.

"Since Shadow's here, I mean, I'm guessing I do? Eventually? At least, that's what I hope."

Edited 2021-09-26 20:12 (UTC)

"Was I supposed to understand any of that?"

"...it's not important."

Link carefully set the fillets into the sizzling butter, his expression slightly more guarded.

"Sounded important, and I got nothing to do but listen till the fish is ready?"

"I'm apparently the reincarnation of a hero who gets reborn whenever Hyrule is in peril," Link said quietly, watching the fish and counting in his head.

"My whole purpose is to keep her safe."

Very gently, he carefully turned each of the fillets. "As for the rest? I want to have a family of my own someday. A wife, kids...but, sometimes, I worry that I'll die before that because of the things I have to do."

He smiled fondly. "But, apparently I do get to do that, because I've had the privilege to meet my great-something-grandson, who happens to be my brother here."

"Never met Hyrule, is she here?" Yes, he was intentionally misunderstanding.

"So, that's like that song I'm my own grandpa?"

"Actually...sort of. Our Princess is here."

Link didn't know the reference and hesitated, unsure if he was being made fun of. "Not that I know of. I mean, he's my descendant."

"An actual princess?" he asked, flopping onto his side and stretching, an unspoken invitation to rub his belly.

"How is he our brother then?"

"Yes. Not the spoiled kind, though. Hyrule was overthrown when we were ten and she spent a lot of time just...surviving."

And waiting.

For him.

That second question pulled him away from the more brooding thoughts that were threatening him. Link gently scritched the kitty while he spoke.

"There was that School Storm in Nautilus. And during that storm we were twins. And ever since then, he's been my brother."

"So this Hryule girl is a princess who was over-throne when she was a kid, huh?"

He snuggled into the scritches.

"Oh, Adrien told me about that one..." How many families was that one Storm responsible for? That was when Gar and Adrien.... Wow.

"Her name is Zelda. Hyrule is named for a goddess, which is why we refer to the country as a lady."

With his non-cat-scritching hand, he turned the fish again.

"It was a nice Storm. Even if Endos terrorized us a bit."

"Sorry I missed it," he said, fighting not to shudder... since there was no way someone petting him would miss that.

Endos had more than terrorized him that storm. As Gar, he'd been the one Endos had physically ripped into at the dance.

"So tell me more about this Hyrule goddess place?" he asked, to keep himself from thinking about that Storm any more.

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CW: suicide and fighting mentions.

Re: CW: suicide and fighting mentions.

Re: CW: suicide and fighting mentions.

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